


Prohibited

by wenjunhui1006



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn, chanhun are an item at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 50,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wenjunhui1006/pseuds/wenjunhui1006
Summary: The first time they met they were Mr. Park and Priest Byun.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Oh Sehun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 36
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had this story on my drafts since 2016? I completely forgot about it but I gave another try and I think I might finish it this time. English is not me first language so I'm sorry about any grammatical errors you may find, this is not betad

The first time they saw each they were Mr. Park and Priest Byun.

Life is a probation according to Byun Baekhyun. You're given choices and those you decide to choose mold the path of your future. No one is born with the heavy duty to be good or bad, but the way you live may depend on which side of the balance you stand on.

He considered himself a good person after all. Baekhyun was born in a good family, had loving parents, was the kid who had that envious amount of friends and colleagues while growing up. Most of his friends had reputations and rumours made to taint their images and, while they let the thin line between lies and reality rip them apart, Baekhyun choose to be the smartest person in the room - according to his own point of view.

In all the glory of his 27 years of life, Baekhyun is a respected, loved and feared young man, who had his choices and beliefs craved in the depths of his heart.

+

The room was darker than usual, a sign that no one was there yet. The classes on KCS the Korean Catholic School were about to start in a few hours and, Baekhyun, the headmaster, was personally inspecting every single room in the gran building. The kids would still be in full force when arriving from vacation, but the priest had to make sure that his students have all the comfort they need.

Becoming the authority figure to such young people and manage to make them don't hate you, even with all your rules and 'you cannot do this' was something Baekhyun never judged himself able to. But he grew up to love all the kids and the environment in where he lives in. In the three years in KCS, Baekhyun became, if not most of the kids role model, someone they certainly looked up to.

Baekhyun walked to his office with soft steps and a friendly smile on his face while greeting a few nuns passing by. He never felt more important than anyone in the school, knowing all of them had to share a fair amount of effort to discipline and educate the students. He respected the nuns the most, since they were the ones to listen when someone decided to throw a tantrum of how much things were boring and pathetic when it came to school. Baekhyun just intervened when someone got aggressive or too disrespectful.

The Priest's office was in the same pattern as the rest of the school. It had wooden floor and wooden colored walls, but with a touch of personality the classrooms were not allowed to. He had a big and comfortable leather chair - which came in pair with a sofa as big and comfortable - in were he spend most of the day, a few pictures and paintings hanging in the wall, and the floor to ceiling glass window that allowed him to look at the whole property entrance, just like he was doing now, watching the hectic come and go from the first day of school.

He was familiar with the scene, seeing them over and over again for the last few years; the parents dropping the kids too early and coming to pick them up too late. The oldest kids, those who came to school by themselves, blocking the cars way and making a commotion of angry and late parents, who didn't had time to accompanying their children inside the school, and greet them good luck or a goodbye kiss. In most of the parents reunions the main content was why KCS was yet to be a boarding school and Baekhyun had to, once again, explain the lack of plans to do such while giving the speech about parents and school working together for the future of the kids that none of them payed attention to.

With a heavy sigh Baekhyun walked to the door, ready to face the loveable kids, the troublemakers, the ones who spent the day sleeping in the first bench that catch their eyes, the plea of a irresponsible father for coming too late and the bunch of whining about the new 'no cellphone rule', just like any other day. He checked himself in the mirror before getting out the room, fixing his hair that he didn't bother to brush this morning. With the hair down, Baekhyun looked much younger than his late 20's - even if no one believed his age at all.

The priest turned the doorknob, making his way to the gymnasium where he was in charge to give a motivational speech to new, old and parent's students. The speech had a few changes here and there through the years he was in charge of it, Baekhyun thought, but the sum of it was basically the same.

The distance between Baekhyun's office and the gymnasium wasn't long, passing a wide corridor before going outdoor to the annex building where said gymnasium was located. Connecting the buildings was a beautiful garden with one of the school most prized possessions: The Noah Fountain. It was always a sight to behold, Baekhyun thought, but what catch his eyes at the moment wasn't the beauty of the statue, but the scene unfolding at the back of it. A tall man was coaxing one of the students, clearly making the latter scared out of his guts.

The priest strutted his way to the pair. They haven't notice his approach until he forcefully cleared his throat, making the tall man back away from the startled boy.

"Prie-est Byun..." The boy stuttered, not looking at his eyes.

But Baekhyun was busy glaring at the man looking down on him.

"You don't threat students inside this school, Sir." Baekhyun said with a serious tone.

"You want me to wait for him outside?" The man asked in a deep voice that had a hint of sarcasm.

Baekhyun didn't bat an eye for the smirk rosing on the man's lips. "I want you to accompany me to my office so I'll be able to know who you are and report you if that's the case".

Baekhyun motioned with one hand for the man to walk with him and, surprisingly, he followed Baekhyun back to the latter's office.

The priest could sense the heavy gaze behind his back, could almost hear inside his head the tone the man would use with him once inside his office. He was familiar with that kind of person, have had those on his tail since forever. Baekhyun was born in a influencial family, was inserted in society in a young age, men who put themselves on a pedestal were nothing new to him. And the man a few steps behind him was exactly that kind of man. 

It didn't took long for them to be inside Baekhyun's office. The tall man was examining everything with expert eyes, taking in all of the space he was surrounded by. He took a sit in the chair in front of the priest's desk before being told to do so and Baekhyun just sighed, moving to sit on his beloved leather chair. 

"So, Mr...", Baekhyun took the initiative to know the man's name. He didn't look familiar so the young priest assumed he must be a relative of one of the new students. 

"Park Chanyeol", he answered with a pompuos voice. Baekhyun thought the name must have some weight for someone out there but, inside his walls, God had only one name. 

"Mr. Park, I assume you must know Oh Sehun? The student you were bullying a few minutes ago", the priest said while searching for Chanyeol's name in the list of parents or legal guardians of the students. 

"Oh, I do", he said with a smirk. 

"Then could you please enlighten me of what was that exchange about?", Baekhyun was irked when his search found no results. "Since I see here that you are not related to him, and to no other student as long as this school is concerned". 

Baekhyun was never one to lose his temper, given his calm demeanor and his beliefs in peace and harmony, but the way the man in front of him raised himself, slowly and surely, as if nothing in the world was above him, took a swing on his patience. 

"You see, I'm Sehun's boyfriend. And as long as this school is concerned, how I treat him or not, it's none of your business", he said slowly, almost mockingly, never losing the loopsided smile. 

Baekhyun wasn't new to this. He knew about homosexuals students, having caught a few of them in the act before. It's no surprise, being in an all boys school, in the age they found themselves in, wanting to discover the world around without a care for anything. It did not scare or upseted him thinking or talking about homosexuality, being raised the way he was. Baekhyun had had his fair share of experiences before joining the celibacy school. He was never involve with men himself but it was all around him and denying that was just make him look like a fool. 

Since he became 12 years old and understood that his views were God's views, Baekhyun started to treat every subject with a lot more care and concern. He did not think that homosexuals would rot in hell like a lot of his colleagues, nor did he agreed with the way homosexuals choose to live their lives. Baekhyun was devoted to the Bible and it's principles, but he wasn't a stupid man. Some things in life could not be changed and he knew homosexuality was one of them. But the path his students choose to walk in did not include misbehaviors inside his school. 

Baekhyun could feel the challenge in Park Chanyeol's eyes. 

"The way you treat your beloved outside the school's walls it's not, indeed, of our concern. But how you behave while inside is. I will not tolerate any kind of mistreat or abuse to a student inside this school, so I suppose you should leave as for now". 

"My beloved?", the man asked with a mocking laugh. "For someone who have such good manners you forgot to tell me your name, priest". 

"I assume you know how to read, Mr. Park", Baekhyun said with a pointed look to the plaque sitting on his desk, embolded with gold letters that said Priest Byun Baekhyun. 

Chanyeol looked pleased with the feist tone used by the smaller man, and his smile only grew in size. 

"You have a lovely name, Baekhyun".

A lot of men had been in the same position as Park Chanyeol. Standing in the same room, in front of the same desk, facing the same man. All the times it felt almost like a dejavu to Baekhyun. He had been offered money, cars, a beach house, even a whole farm! Important people had their sons in Baekhyun's school; business men, artists, politicians. Lots of people with lots of money to spend in order to avoid a scandal, or to make a statement. Baekhyun had been offered a lot of things that may had persuaded those who greediness took a hold of their morality, but he had never been tempted. 

But Baekhyun was never before offered the look Chanyeol had in his eyes as they traveled Baekhyun all along, from head to toe. Baekhyun could see the sin in them, and it ripples a shiver out of him. 

"I think you should leave now, Mr. Park. I will inform Mr. Oh about your departure. And visits to the school needs to be scheduled at least a day before they happen, sir. So next time, please give us a call before coming". 

"I would love to give you a call, Mr. Byun", said Chanyeol in a low, almost seductive voice. 

"You can find the school's number on our website, if you wish", Baekhyun said while walking towards the door. He heard footsteps following him and as the door opened, he found a hand outstretched, waiting for a farewell. 

The priest took a deep breath and let his hand be involved by Chanyeol's bigger one. He was sure the man was putting more pressure than deemed necessary, but as he felt the taller thumb caressing the back of his hand, he broke them apart as if being burned. 

"Have a good day, Mr. Park", he said with a harsh tone.

"I will, Priest".


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is over 5k i have no idea why, I really can have an average per chapter omg, btw not betad again, sorry x

"And God bless all of you here today", he finished with a smile. 

Baekhyun's welcome speech was a bit rushed this year, since he was 15 minutes late to his talk, due to an emergency. 

Park Chanyeol was a stupid emergency in form a man. 

The priest was in his office once again, the place he had almost as a sacred place, that had a beautiful spot in his heart - not for the leather chair at all. Baekhyun was reviewing his conversation with Park Chanyeol in his head. He had a few doubts about what to do with the informations he received from the man. He knew Oh Sehun and the family he came from. A respectable family, with generations of children who belonged to KCS. Baekhyun knew Oh Seungsoo, Sehun's father. Baekhyun was sure his family didn't knew about his "preferences". 

Baekhyun was in no place to tell and was not about to put himself in line to reveal such an important matter in someone's life. Sehun's sexuality didn't worried him at all, and as long as he kept being the same disciplined, loving and applicated student he always was, Baekhyun has no business with his family. But as long as Sehun himself wasn't the problem, the relationship between him and Chanyeol made the priest's doubts arouse. 

Baekhyun disliked Chanyeol. In all his slow words and arrogance, Mr. Park is the kind of person Baekhyun tends to keeps his distance. He didn't enjoy the way Chanyeol referred to Sehun as his boyfriend, as if the younger boy was some kind of property that could be handled as he pleased. In the meantime, the conversation he saw between the two of them only reassured him about the unhealthy aspect of that relationship. Sehun was known by being a soft spoken, shy boy, almost innocent; the stark contrast of Chanyeol's personality as Baekhyun could deduce from the minutes spent with the man. 

Baekhyun could not hold his curiosity to know more about the man that was inside that same room with him just a few hours ago. Something in him kept saying that he was trouble and Sehun would be better of without the likes of him in his life. With his homepage open in a search mechanism, Baekhyun found himself typing Chanyeol's name. 

And he was right, indeed. Chanyeol's name means something out there. The man currently occupies the position of CEO of Park Tech, a technologies and development company in the heart of Seoul. He had close to none of his private life published online, as Baekhyun didn't find any social media under his name or a lot of articles published about him. The last one, published a couple of months ago, was about the life as a CEO at the age of 31. 

The age surprised Baekhyun. He didn't imagined the man being over his twenties when in his presence. Even if his whole demeanor made him look powerful and imposing, Baekhyun could see some boyish features on him. He found some pictures of Chanyeol, but none had a trait of personality Baekhyun hadn't seen before. Hard glances and chin up to the camera didn't help the priest to swallow the bitter taste in his tongue. 

Chanyeol and Sehun had a 14 years of difference separating them. The older had lived almost twice of Sehun's life. It did not look good in Baekhyun eyes, even more with Sehun being the sweet boy he was. The priest had seen headfirst the way Chanyeol used his whole self in his favor, being extremely aware of his actions. 

Baekhyun may have chosen to live in God's ways, but he still was a mundane man. He thought about Chanyeol as a handsome man, who was completely aware of his looks and definitely played his cards around it. The priest could address the man as someone self-centered, given the way he tried to make Baekhyun fall under the same impression he probably put Sehun in. The low and deep voice, the piercing gaze and the words carefully choosen to be flirty but at the same time pass as cordiality did not escaped Baekhyun's perception. Of course the priest knew what Chanyeol's glances and words meant, but he choose to believe it was his way to defy authority. Baekhyun was a few years younger but inside the school he was the powerful figure. It wasn't hard for Baekhyun to understand that the older male worked that way, probably being so used to flirty and flatter that it may have slipped his perception that the object of his attention that time was someone unreachable. Baekhyun had no interest in break the vows he made at God, even more so for something so dismissive as a flirty Park Chanyeol. 

Being the object of the man's affection, however, must be tempting, Baekhyun wondered. He could not imagine any less than that if Sehun of all of the students he knew by heart was the one to fall for his words. The priest could imagine Chanyeol being loveable, attentive and careful with a lover, the man had an aura in him that inspired safety, even if for a bunch of wrong reasons. He could place Sehun being affectionate, giving loving stares here and there, stealing kisses and giggling afterwards because that was how Sehun was. Seeing first hand how scared Sehun looked while Chanyeol had his finger pointed at him that morning made the priest wonder what could have happened between them. What could possibly be that Sehun, shy and respectful Sehun, did to upset his boyfriend. 

Baekhyun shook his head as he realized how deep in thoughts he was. He had started to wonder in disturbed waters, thinking too much about the wrong part of the problem. He slumped in his chair, forgetting about manners for a moment while he pondered what should be his next step. After a few minutes of being in silence and absorbed in himself, Baekhyun grabbed his round glasses and left the office heading for the classroom quarters. 

A few nuns stopped him on his way, giving their support and passion for his speech early on; a few others told him about students who were already given detention, and some others just stopped to ask him how his day was going so far. The older nuns treated Baekhyun like a son, always aware of his wellbeing and being protective and loving with him. He was always sincerely touched by their concern and made his best to always sooth them and answer all their questions with a smile on his face. 

When he finally stopped in front of the classroom he was looking for, he knocked on the door three times before making himself visible for the students. They stood up and bowed as soon as he stepped inside the class and he bowed back, always showing respect for those who respected him. The homeroom teacher made her way to the back of the class, giving the priest space to do whatever was he there to. 

"Good morning, everyone. I'm Priest Byun Baekhyun for those who don't know me, and I'm the headmaster of this loveable place. I'm not here today to disturb your class with announcements like I always do, Mrs. Kim, don't worry", he said with a smile the teacher mirrored. "I'm just here to kidnap one of your students for a second, if that's okay. Come with me please, Oh Sehun-ssi".

The class was met with a pindrop silence, since no one could begin to speculate what the headmaster could want with Oh Sehun of all people. The younger student followed him, head bowed as he walked behind the priest, who offered him a warm smile as they left the room. They did not muttered a single word in the whole way back to the priest's office, Baekhyun being inserted in how he should address the problem with Sehun without be seeing as nosy and out of place. Sehun, meanwhile, was quiet not just because it was almost part of his nature, but because he was scared. Never before he was called in the headmaster's office, even more so by the headmaster himself. He knew it had something to do with what happened previously in the morning and it didn't help at all with his nervous. 

Priest Byun hold the door open for Sehun, who answered with a timid 'thank you' and followed the younger into the room. When both were properly sat, Baekhyun intertwined his fingers and heaved a sigh. 

"How have you been, Sehun?", he opted to start friendly and address the elephant in the room later on

"I've been fine, Sir", he said without looking in his eyes. 

"I noticed your parents didn't came for the welcoming party this year, is everything alright?"

"Uh, yes. They had a busy schedule this week, so they couldn't be here. But my father said he would visit the school later this month"

"That's lovely, Sehun. But I saw that you brought someone along with you instead of your parents today", Baekhyun said unwavering. 

Sehun stuttered a few times, face becoming a bright shade of red in instants. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish, not able to convey what he really wanted to say. 

"It's okay, Sehun. I'm not here to scold you or anything like that. I had a conversation with Mr. Park Chanyeol and he told me he is your boyfriend, is that correct?" Baekhyun asked in a soft voice, trying to reassure the panicked student in front of him. It didn't help a lot, since Sehun kept being unable to find his words and only nodded with his head, body slumped in the chair, like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. "Sehun-ssi, I'm not here to give you a lesson as to why what you're doing is wrong or to make you pay for your sins, or point an accusing finger at you for your choices. You know I live by God's law and that I don't agree with this, but I won't try to persuade you into changing who you are. If that's a phase then it's going to be over soon and if not, I hope you find someone suitable to be by your side. But that someone it's not Park Chanyeol, I'm afraid".

Sehun's head has been bowed the whole time but snapped to look right in Baekhyun's eyes when the tall man name was mentioned. His eyes were wide and his lisp was more present when he talked. 

"W-what do you mean by that, sir?"

"Well, I had a conversation with Mr. Park and I'm afraid he's not the right person for you, Sehun. I'm not trying to dictate how you should live your life, but your relationship with that man seen to be having problems that you are not able to keep out of school's hours. And more so, I think the 14 years of difference between you and him might be taking a toll on it. I must be completely wrong but he seems to be the kind of man who wants more than you can give him, Sehun. I'm afraid you would end up with only bad things from this relationship"

Baekhyun could see the red again in Sehun's face but he was not so sure it was from embarrassment this time. 

"You don't know him like I do, Mr. Byun. I know that you're concerned because of what you saw today, but that was a misunderstanding, and I'm sure it won't happen again", Sehun said with a somehow confident voice, even if shaking a bit from the nerves. 

Baekhyun was aware that this was the route the conversation would take. He did not, in any point of his wonderings about the two men, thought that Sehun would go down without a fight. He was strong willed at the same way he was lovely, and he did seem like a loyal person. If the title boyfriend meant something to Sehun, he would fight for it. 

"Like I said, I'm not trying to dictate how you should live your life or who you relate with, my darling. But after my conversation with Mr. Park I assumed that maybe what is going on between the two of you is not that much of a strong bond", Baekhyun said patiently. 

The Priest wasn't going to go in about how Sehun's boyfriend was on completely flirty mode with someone other than him. He assumed it was not something pleasant to hear, even more so when Sehun seemed so invested in that relationship. 

"What do you mean by that, Sir? Did he said something?", Sehun asked and his voice was completely detached of confidence. 

"He did not say anything about you, if that's what you're worried about. He seemed pretty happy to let me know that you two are together, in fact. But that is where my concerns lay, my darling. He did seem to hold you more like a possession than a a boyfriend"

Sehun's face darkened and he hung his head, fidgeting on the chair as Baekhyun continued to stare at him. The boy did not seem to be embarrassed or upset by the statement and if the way a shy smile rose on his face was anything to go by, Sehun seemed to like the title and was happy about it. And it made Baekhyun's worries grown in his chest. 

The priest realized that the conversation was fruitless and with a heavy sighed, he stood up. 

"You may comeback to your classroom, Sehun. I only ask for you to be aware of your behavior inside of the school, and to be careful. If any problems arise be sure that I'm here to help you, anytime you need", Baekhyun said with a amicable smile. 

Sehun stood up as well, all gangly limbs and dark hair and gave Baekhyun a sincere smile in return, softening the priest's heart. 

"Thank you, Mr. Byun. But please don't think badly of Chanyeol, he is a great person. I'm happy that you're not upset at me for liking guys and I don't know if I'm way out of my league for saying this, but I think you should give him a chance. He did not gave me an awesome first impression as well, but look where we are now", Sehun sounded so sincere that Baekhyun could not find in himself to deny him. 

"I'll try my best, my darling".

+

The end of the first week of school tend to be a calm affair. The students are not yet deprived of their social lives, as some use to rant out to Baekhyun. The priest stood at the main gate, hands behind his back and a warm smile on his face, saying goodbye to students as they passed by. Some of them stopped at the gate to talk to Baekhyun and some of the nuns, and after wishing a blessed weekend, the priest send them their way. Some just waved goodbye and ran to the freedom of almost three whole days free of school load. Not having homework at the first week back at school was the rule the students were most grateful for - probably the only one. 

Baekhyun noticed a black car, slick and shining at the sunlight stopping at the main gate. The windows were tinted and nobody got out, and Baekhyun assumed it was a driver of one the students. It was not unusual for cars to stop by the school to pick up students. Most of the times a driver would be out waiting but Baekhyun didn't hold on to that detail. Being distracted by his thoughts, the priest was catch by surprise when a hand touched his elbow, startling him a little. Turning around he found Sehun looking at him with a shy smile. 

"Hi, Mr. Byun", he said. 

"Hello, Sehun. Heading home?"

"Ah, yes", the student said hesitant. The priest noticed he wanted to say something more but he was fidgeting, playing with his fingers. 

"Do you need something, my darling?" Baekhyun said, at the same moment he heard a car door closing. Turning his head around a bit, Baekhyun spotted a familiar tall figure leaning against the black car. Turning his eyes to Sehun, he saw the question in them. "Come on". With a sigh of relief, the student followed Baekhyun hot on his heels. 

The distance between the main gate where Baekhyun stood and the car Chanyeol were leaning against was approximately 20 steps. A short distance compared to the bunch of things running through Baekhyun's head. How should he approach the man? Should he let Sehun manage the encounter or should he say something first? 

When they were just five steps from the car, he decided to put a friendly face and cordial smile, a tight lipped one. Baekhyun stopped in front of Chanyeol, two steps separating them while Sehun stopped at the taller man's side, his arm sneaking his way into his waist while Chanyeol's arm found his place on Sehun's shoulders. The priest noticed how Sehun nudged Chanyeol with his hip and the taller man cleared his throat, making Baekhyun look up, locking eyes with him. And the same uncomfortable feeling Baekhyun felt the first time they saw each other came back, making him stumble a little. Chanyeol reach a hand out to steady him but stopped mid action, putting his hand down again, and Baekhyun saw how the reflex went unnoticed to Sehun. 

"Hello, Mr Byun. Nice to see you again", the man said with a casual tone, reaching his hand out again, but this time offering it for Baekhyun to shake. 

"Hello, Mr. Park", Baekhyun said while holding the man's hand. The priest noticed the smirk forming in the tall man's lips when he didn't expressed the same pleasure in being in Chanyeol's presence again. Chanyeol's hold in Baekhyun's hand was firm, like it was that first time, but his hands were warmer this time, more sweaty. His eyes were hard on Baekhyun's ones, the smirk growing as the priest tried to free his hand, only to feel the same caress at the back of it, just like the first time. And just like the first time, a shiver rippled through his body, making his breathing irregular. The taller didn't seemed to notice - or care - when he forced Baekhyun to stand a little closer with a faint tug of his hand, while angling his body at his direction a tiny bit. Baekhyun knew that all of that would be imperceptible to anyone else, even to himself, if he wasn't so far into the bubble Chanyeol seemed to create around him. The whole exchange didn't last more than a few seconds when Sehun's voice brought him back to the surface and out of Chanyeol's demanding eyes and confusing touch. 

"Mr. Byun, Chanyeol wanted to stop by and say hi", he said with a nervous tint to his voice, as if expecting something to happen. 

"Yes, I did", Chanyeol said and Baekhyun could swear he saw Sehun relax at his side. "Sehun said you were worried about us". 

Baekhyun wanted to laugh, scream and point fingers at him all at the same time. No one had ever seen so fake in Baekhyun's eyes as the man standing in front of him. The way his words were spoken with such care and a tint of affection irked Baekhyun. The priest wanted to say he did not care or were worried the least about him. Sehun and his seemed fragile self were Baekhyun's only concern. 

"You probably came up a little harsh on Mr. Byun, love", Sehun said with a smile, keeping in his tone light. 

"You think, love?", The tall man said with a false ignorance. "I can be way harsher than that", he said looking straight into Baekhyun's eyes. While Baekhyun's polite smile completely vanished from his face, Chanyeol was now sporting a full on grin. 

Baekhyun was not, in any way, shielded from the world outside his beliefs even if he did not seek for it. He was a young man, had friends outside of the school and the church, friends who did not share the same views as his. He was not easily scandalized, not even with his friends antics from time to time. But the clear innuendo and suggestion on Chanyeol's voice took him by surprise. The priest could feel his jaw clenching and the uncomfortable feeling at his insides coming back in full force. 

"I only hope for the best to my students, Mr. Park. You did not seem like a good companion to Sehun at the time so I made myself clear to him. And I think I was clear enough with you as well, sir", Baekhyun tried to put in his tone the same disinterest he had used with the man at the first time. He was not dumb to pretend he wasn't aware of the older one games but was not in position to call him out on it, not with Sehun standing right beside them. 

"I wish nothing but the best to Sehun. I would never do anything to prevent that from happen. He is an amazing kid and deserves to be treated as such, Mr. Byun", Baekhyun was caught off guard with the sincerity he saw for the first time within the man. It lifted some of the weight of his shoulder to realize that, whatever was Park Chanyeol's intentions, hurt Sehun was not included in his plans. 

He noticed Sehun's arm tightening around Chanyeol's waist but the man's own still lacking on Sehun's shoulders, as if it was just resting there, not showing a sign of affection like the younger was up to. Baekhyun wondered if them both shared the feelings with the same intensity. 

"I'm glad we can agree on that, Mr. Park", Baekhyun said with a professional tone. "Sehun, are your parents back in town yet?"

"No, why?" The student asked with a certain mistrust. 

"Where are you staying at the weekend? If you're going to be with Mr. Park let them know you're safe. Don't be reckless, my darling". 

"Oh, don't worry, Mr. Byun. I already told them I'll be staying with a friend", Sehun said with cute smile. "We should get going then, love", he said turning to look at Chanyeol. 

"I hope there's no misunderstandings left, Mr. Byun. But to prove to you that I'm not up to no good I think we should grab a coffee someday when you schedule allows, what do you think?" Chanyeol said, with a smile that could fool hundreds. 

"I think it's a brilliant idea. I already told Mr. Byun how amazing you are, I think that if he could see if for himself you could be good friends", Sehun said with a hopeful smile. 

Once again, Baekhyun found himself not being able to deny Sehun when the kid looked so earnest. The young priest could see something in Sehun's eyes, something akin to desperation. He could not understand why it was so important for him, but he found himself agreeing just to try and figure him out. 

+

Baekhyun's apartment was a part of his life that was almost secluded. The dull decorations and the lack of mobilia should be enough proof that the place was not lived in. Sitting in the cold tile floor staring at the white walls was a reminder that he was not a part of that. The place he was in was nothing but a shelter but it could never be a home. Hearing his own steps echoing in the empty space only reflected the way he was feeling. 

Baekhyun never felt less normal than anyone else because he decided to be a priest. He only felt in peace with himself and not even for a moment doubted that that was the path he wanted to follow. He heard countless times that he could be devoted to God in other ways, that a young boy like he was, in the age of 15, should enjoy life without the weight of such an unusual decision. He heard from friends and family, sometimes teachers, that he should wait a bit more, experience a little better, see a little more of what life had in store for him before deciding. He never understood what that "more" meant. The only thing that could possibly be the thing they desperate wanted him to find was love. But he already found love in God. Baekhyun never felt compelled to experiment the romantic love they always talked about. The intimacy he had with Jesus he could never had with anyone else. He do not miss love because he's loved by Him. The only thing Baekhyun let go from the mundane world was that other kind of love. The carnal love. 

He was not a man free of sins, no. He was only human like everyone else and he never wanted to be a saint. Baekhyun only aimed for a simple life, serving to a greater cause but within the limits of his humanity. He had sins, he knew about them, he was always paying for them and living his life as it was. But he was never tormented by a sin before. None of them were to mess with his mind like this one. If all his sins were to lead him to the path of being a better person after learning from them, the sin that was Park Chanyeol would surely not add up nothing to his growth as a human being. 

Baekhyun was 100% sure that the man had no effect in him whatsoever. After agreeing to the coffee with him in a cordial manner but never setting any date and hoping that it was one of those encounters that vanished with the time and are forgotten, he moved on with his daily routine. He said goodbye to the rest of his students and the nuns, went to his office and took care of a few papers that needed his signature and after that he went to the confessional. No student was there and the confessional was open only on every Wednesday. But it was a place he felt safe. A place where he felt connected. Sitting in the little space he had for himself to listen and judge all those who needed his guide he felt less confused about himself. There, he forgot about him, and about his wrongdoings and his flaws. There, he was present to serve. But with no one needing his help, he was only faced with the scary truth that he was the one in need of help now.

The mop of black hair and long legs, big lips and deep voice were haunting his thoughts. Since the first encounter with Park Chanyeol and the talk with Oh Sehun, almost a week ago, Baekhyun hadn't given much thought to the man, dismissing his behavior as a one time thing and a way of defiance, since he probably felt cornered in a way that was new to him. Baekhyun imagined that it wasn't every day that the man was called out by a priest. But the second time they met, just a few hours ago, Baekhyun wasn't able to dismiss the man's behavior as petulance. He saw something in his eyes and the way he spoke light up something inside Baekhyun. And was not the good kind of something. 

Baekhyun had always been a curious person. He liked to read and discover new things, liked to learn languages to be able to communicate with more and different people, liked to discover new places. But he had never toyed with his feelings. He felt what he felt and never thought more of that. He loved his parents, loved his friends, loved his students and loved God. But he did not loved Park Chanyeol. Than what kind of feeling was that that couldn't keep him out of Baekhyun's thoughts? Baekhyun never felt lust or desire for someone, but he had read about them, had seen them in the face of those around him. He could see that in Park Chanyeol's face. But it was not directed to whom it should. It was directed to him. 

The young priest had seen the way Chanyeol looked and talked about his boyfriend, Sehun. It had something in there, yes. It had affection, it was sweet, his voice had a tender edge to it but it did not had sparkles. Sehun was dressed in his feelings for Chanyeol. It was visible, all of it. Even the desire. But Chanyeol lacked in it. All the lust, the desire and heated looks Chanyeol should be giving to Sehun, were towards Baekhyun. He knew he was probably reading too much into it, he knew that the exchange between them had no effect in Chanyeol and it did not, in any way, meant that he did not felt something for Sehun. 

But it was the boldness of it that left a mark on Baekhyun. No one had ever looked at him that way, no one had ever touched him the way Chanyeol dared to. At the same time it annoyed Baekhyun because of the lack of respect for him as a person, it also left a impression on him. Chanyeol was determined and he was not ashamed. Baekhyun felt dirty for sharing such a secret with the man, since that exchange was something witnessed by them only. He knew Chanyeol was doing it just for the sake of it, just because he saw a challenge, but he couldn't help but think of what was there for him. How far was the man willing to go with his game until he grew bored of his fruitless attempts? When the confessional didn't gave him any answers, Baekhyun went to the other place that he knew he could be by himself with only his thoughts to haunt him. 

And the cold floor of his apartment didn't help his confusion. He was still wondering when his phone rang showing a new message from his mother, asking if he could join them for the weekend, since his brother was there to visit and she missed her whole family together. He decided that a weekend with his family could be a good distraction to his disturbed mind and accept her request with a smile on his face. 

\+ 

The dinner with his parents at Saturday night was full of laughs and affection. Since his brother announced that he and his wife were expecting their first child the night before, everything became really bright and cozy. Baekhyun slept the first night with a light heart and woke up with a smile on his face. It was not hard for his family to create a routine and at the end of their second night together, Baekhyun was doing the dishes when his mother approached him. 

"How are you, my love?", she asked while caressing his back.

"I'm good, mother. Nothing really changed since you asked yesterday", he joked with her. 

"You seemed a bit distant at dinner tonight", she said. "Having trouble with the kids?"

"Nothing too serious", he said. "I was thinking about Baekbom's news". 

"I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother!", She said excited. "At least one of my kids will continue our bloodline". 

"Mother..."

"I know, I know! I'm already used to it by now", she said dismissive. But Baekhyun could still hear the faint bitterness in her voice. "I am a devoted person, you know that. Even more so because of you. But I do think that you gave up on everything way too soon. You could have waited a little bit. You're so young, so handsome. Love is not a sin, my love. God would not, by any means, love you less because of it". 

"I don't lack on love, mother". 

"I know. But you lack on being loved", she said with a sad smile and walked out of the kitchen. 

Baekhyun finished the dishes and went back to his room, the one his mother still kept intact - together with his brother's - even after all those years he had moved out. 

His mother always went back to the same topic every time he visited. He was used to it by now and only listened with a polite smile. It did not upseted him, but it never did anything to waver his decision. He remembered how delighted his mom was the first time she saw him without his cassock, and he was genuinely touched by the tears in her eyes. She genuinely believed that he was missing the wonders of having someone by his side and he would never deny her that right. 

Baekhyun was in his bed after taking a shower when his phone ringed. He wasn't a technological person. He did not had any social media pages or spent hours on his phone. He texted some of his friends regularly but his phone was most used to play games - his guilty pleasure. He liked old school games, like Tetris and Mario Bros. But he was also a huge fan of Candy Crush. But this time it wasn't a game notification, it was a incoming call from a unknown number. 

"Hello?", Baekhyun said with a frown. Not many people had his phone number and he knew he had saved all of his contacts. 

"Mr. Byun." 

Baekhyun knew that voice. It was obvious even through the static of the phone. 

"Who is it?", he asked anyway. 

"You hurt me pretending you don't know who I am, Baekhyun. But let's settle this. It's Park Chanyeol". 

Baekhyun's calm demeanor completely disappeared when it came to Park Chanyeol. And he was far from calm, he was annoyed. He knew how bad it was to let a person toy with his emotions like that but it was something out of his control. It was almost an instinct. 

"I don't remember giving you my number, Mr Park", he said heaving a sigh. 

"I have my ways", he said and Baekhyun could hear the smirk in his voice. 

Baekhyun knew he had to put himself together so he tried to put his polite self to use. 

"Is there something I can help you with, son?", the priest said and the laugh at the other side of the line was almost instant. 

"Yes, father. There is something you can do for me. Although, I'm not much of a formal person, I would like better if I could call you Daddy", Chanyeol said and Baekhyun could feel his blood boiling in his veins. How dare he? 

"I am not fond of your sense of humor, Mr Park, so please refrain from using such jokes with me. To be honest, I would like if you could stop all together with whatever it is that you think you're doing, because is not welcome. I see that you have no respect for my position but I think you're not that much of an ignorant to understand when you're being disrespectful". 

"Well, at least I know now that you're not as frivolous as you look. I was thinking that perhaps you were too much of a prude to understand what I'm up to. But unfortunately, Mr. Byun, I do not see any of this as joke so I'm afraid I can not stop", he said in a serious tone. 

"Mr. Park...", Baekhyun started but was interrupted by Chanyeol. 

"I am indeed in need of your help, Mr. Byun. Im hoping we could grab that coffee tomorrow, if you're free?"

Baekhyun knew he could say no. It is what he should do. That man was playing with him and making fun of everything he stands for. But the young priest knew how to stand in his grounds and he could not deny help for those in need. 

"Is there something afflicting you?"

"Oh, am I talking with the priest now? Is delightful how you can go back and forth between the personas", he said with a sincerity that Baekhyun only took for innocence. 

"There is no difference between me as a priest and me as a man, Mr. Park. They complete each other and aren't, in any ways, different parts of myself", he said calmly. 

"Then I'll be glad to be educated about this tomorrow at 4pm. Do you have a favorite place?" 

"Feel free to choose, Mr Park". 

"I'll text you the address, then. Have a goodnight, Baekhyun, see you tomorrow", he did not gave Baekhyun a chance to answer before hanging up. 

Baekhyun could only sigh and slump his body on the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't look promising right now, I know, but it does have a plot in there somewhere lol


	3. Chapter III

Coming to think of it, it was a normal Sunday morning   
for Baekhyun after all. He did had breakfast with his family, had a bit of a light reading and had a talk with his childhood friend Do Kyungsoo, who was a busy man, running his successful restaurant in downtown Seoul. Kyungsoo's food was to die for and that was one of the reasons Baekhyun had not seen him in more than 5 months. Being one of the best chefs in town, Kyungsoo was having negotiations with Kim Jongin, the CEO of a hotel conglomerate who wanted to expend Kyungsoo's business. Baekhyun was always a supportive friend so of course he showed his unconditional support for his Kyungsoo, even if it meant seeing him only 3 times a month. So basically, Baekhyun's morning was centered around him doing everything he could to stop thinking about the moment he had to face Park Chanyeol. 

But even if he wanted time to slow down or probably stop all together so he could avoid having to meet the man, that kind of miracle have not being proved to be happening anytime soon. So there he was, outside of Mouse Rabbit Cafe trying to calm his nerves to step inside. 

Baekhyun was dressed in a dark jeans, a dark blue blouse and shoes. Your normal korean late twenties man. Baekhyun was never the one to dress up, always going for more casual any time he had to wear mundane clothes. He was not one to go out in a daily basis and his job around the school was most made inside his office or at the cold bedroom of his apartment, and he didn't need to wear more then nightgowns for that. The only thing that could be point out in Baekhyun's outfit, that could be considered as "uncommon", and sometimes caused a certain amount of double looks was the piece of white cloth around his neck. With only a piece of it appearing through the collar of his shirt was his clerical collar. 

Baekhyun don't use the collar every day. The thing is, the collar is used to identify him as a priest. There are times he goes out using it. There are times he doesn't. Using the collar is kind of controversial for Baekhyun. He is a priest, he is proud of it, but that is not all there is of him. Baekhyun is his own person. The collar kind of enclosed him on being Baekhyun The Priest. So, when he is out with his friends, or doing anything that does not involve his religion or his job as a man of God, he does not wear the collar. He doesn't like the way it segregates him.

But he chooses to wear the collar today for two reasons. First, because Baekhyun thought of this encounter as work. He doesn't have any relation with Park Chanyeol other than Sehun and in this moment, Sehun is classified as work. And second, because not using it would mean a great number of things to deal it in his own mind. Chanyeol probably would not know what that stood for, or respect what it represents, but the collar was Baekhyun's safe net. 

Baekhyun looked around the Cafe and choose a table for himself once he didn't find Chanyeol. The place was considerably spacious, but the taller man had agreed to meet him in the open area at the terrace and Baekhyun agreed, being the spot he often chooses for himself. He didn't ordered anything, thinking it could pass as uncordial, and started to play a game on his phone while waiting. He had arrived at 5 past 4, and thought the older man would go for fashionably late or whatever the ones like him tend to do to show power. 

Baekhyun was ten levels up on his game of Tetris when the warm sun bathing his skin faded and a shadow covered his form from behind. Baekhyun would probably let it pass as clouds only if clouds could smell that good. He looked up to see Chanyeol grinning at him, his eyes covered by his fancy glasses. Baekhyun sat straight on his chair and cleared his throat. 

"Hello, Mr Park", he said while putting his phone down in the table. 

The shadow lurking around him vanished and the same warm sun came back on tingling his skin. Chanyeol sat in front of him, knees almost bumping into the table. Chanyeol disposed of his glasses and looked at Baekhyun. His eyes were huge, the younger man noticed, and they had a mischievous glint in them that made Baekhyun take a deep breath. 

"Hello, Baekhyun. I see that you're not going full priest on me today so I think I'm allowed to call you by your name? Or that's an unforgivable sin?", Chanyeol joked. 

"There are a few things in life that are unforgivable in the Father's eyes, Mr. Park but I don't think your lack of respect it's a part of it", Baekhyun said coldly. "Is there something wrong with Sehun?"

"Why would something be wrong with him?", he asked while raising his eyebrows. 

"I don't see a reason for an encounter between the both of us if not to talk about him".

"I can see that you do see me as an enemy", Chanyeol said with a smirk. 

"Enemy is a really strong word. I don't think of you as a friend or an acquaintance" 

"I don't think that's what I'm aiming for, anyways", Chanyeol said as he called for a waiter. Baekhyun pondered on leaving since his suspects about the route of the conversation were proven to be real. But thinking about it, he thought it would be the best to just endure for the hour and end once and for all that little play Chanyeol was enjoying so much. 

They sat in silence while waiting for their drinks and Baekhyun mustered all his self control to just avoid eye contact with Chanyeol, while the man was intently looking at him, without any hint of shyness. He was examining Baekhyun and he felt small and analysed, but something in him seemed to like the attention. He was never looked at for so long, not aside of his sermons, and never with that much eagerness. Chanyeol's fingers were playing drums in the table but his attention never left Baekhyun. Even when their drinks arrived, Chanyeol thanked the waiter while looking at him. 

Baekhyun took a sip of his drink, and marvelled at the taste, letting out a pleased sound. It had been so long since he had a Caramel Macchiato that he forgotten how good it was. "Is it good?", A voice asked pulling him back to the moment. 

"Ah, y-yes. It's been a while since I had one of those. Only black coffee for me at school. It's hard to keep focus if I'm sleep walking through the corridors", Baekhyun said with a polite smile. 

"Well, I think is worth. You obviously have that school under control. And if your students are anything to go by, at least Sehun is 100% enamoured by you. He thinks you're great", Chanyeol said and Baekhyun was lost for words for a moment. That was the first compliment he ever heard of Chanyeol - even if indirectly - that didn't hold a double meaning. "I think he's rubbing off on me a little", he continued and then took a sip of his own drink, an Americano that Baekhyun completely despised. 

"Well, thank you. Sehun is an amazing kid, I think it's safe to say he is one of the school's pupils. Where is he, by the way? He was going to spend the weekend with you if I'm not mistaken?". 

"He left this morning. His parents came back and he was needed at home. And I had an appointment, anyway". 

"Oh, I won't take your time, then", Baekhyun said and Chanyeol did a really poor job to supress a laugh. 

"You're the appointment, Baekhyun. I have all the time in the world for you", Chanyeol said and Baekhyun could simply stare at him and wonder why he felt shivers at the tone of his voice. 

"What do you really want from me, Mr. Park? If everything's okay with Sehun I assume you must be the one needing my aid". 

"I do, Baekhyun. I do need you", he was not smiling anymore and the shivers on Baekhyun's body intensified, making him hold onto his warm cup to try to appease his body. 

"What can I help you with?", Baekhyun said and his voice was barely above a whisper, foreign to his own ears. 

"Am I talking with the priest or am I talking with the man, Baekhyun?". 

The question brought Baekhyun to the surface again. Chanyeol was giving him something foreign, an attention that didn't seem to be faked or forced and it did something to Baekhyun's heart. It did made him feel important, as a person not only as a priest. But that was the trick for Chanyeol. 

"There's no difference between them, Mr. Park, I already told you that". 

"Then what am I supposed to do?" He said with a sigh, and it looked like he was having an internal turmoil. "How can I have the man without tainting the priest?" 

Baekhyun knew that. He was aware of Chanyeol's intentions since the first time they met, but hearing it in such a crude way knocked the air out of him. He only noticed his hands were shaking when he tried to take a sip of his coffee.

"You can't", he answered. "I'm glad we addressed the elephant in the room. Your games are not welcome, Mr. Park. I'm not the one to play them with. I'm a priest, you are well aware of that, and I'd like if you could please respect me as such". 

"I'm not a religious person, you see. And I'm not trying to belittle you or your beliefs, believe me. But I can't help it. I can't stop myself from thinking about you. Everyday since you went all serious on me thinking I was bullying Sehun", he laughed. "I just can't stop imagine how you would look with your guards down. How would you taste on my tongue, how would you sound to my ears. No one had ever made me feel so tempted before, Baekhyun. I had lots of lovers in my life and I never wanted any of them as much as I want you. I wish this was just a game but it's so much more than that". 

Baekhyun knew his limits. He was aware of how much he could take. He knew Park Chanyeol would not break him, but he never said he couldn't crack. Baekhyun was affected by his words, yes. He was not a hypocrite or a saint. It took a toll on him hearing someone saying those things about him and he knew he had to ask for forgiveness later because he enjoyed it. A part of him was pleased to be the object of someone else's desire. All that 100% of certainty and dismissal he had on him before coming in here became 99% with how honest the man sounded. Chanyeol didn't sound smug or cocky anymore. He didn't sound like he was having a great time teasing Baekhyun just for the sake of it. He sounded like he was troubled, like he was trying really hard but failing. He sounded like someone who needed saving and Baekhyun couldn't deny him of that. 

Baekhyun took a deep breath, and finally made eye contact with Chanyeol. His gaze was intense just like his words and unwavering. 

"I think you're situation says a lot about you, Mr. Park. Have you ever stop to think that maybe you're mistaken? Maybe the desire you think you have for me is a form of defiance? You only want me because you can't have me. Your subconscious is probably thinking about this as a challenge, a form of entertainment. It's not really desire what you're feeling, Mr. Park", Baekhyun said calmly. 

"I thought about that. A lot. But I had my fair share of challenging conquers, I even had an affair with an uncle just because people thought it was wrong" Chanyeol said bashfully, without any hint of sarcasm. He wasn't afraid of being judged by Baekhyun. "But you... It's not like that with you. I was happy with Sehun. He is amazing, I desire him. I don't have complaints about him as a lover. But I can't have him anymore without imagining you under me, you moaning my name. And I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable Baekhyun, but I won't give up so easily. You can try to guilty trip me but it won't work. I want you and I'm trying to be sorry for it, but it's not working". 

Baekhyun was again, probably for the third time in a row, lost for words. He could only stare at Chanyeol, thinking about what he could say to the man in front of him. What he could say to someone that was so blatantly putting him in a situation he swore off so many years ago? 

"What about your relationship with Sehun? He seems to be in love with you, I could only assume you felt the same way about him", that was not what he was supposed to say but his tongue seemed to have lost the filter with his brain. 

"I adore him. We've been together for almost a year now, we have a great relationship. But you said so yourself, I'm not good for him. Sehun deserves more than I can give". 

"You'll break his heart", Baekhyun said. 

"I'll make him stronger", Chanyeol said as if it made sense to Baekhyun. "He's young, he needs someone like me to help him realize what his after. I'm not the love of his life, trust me". 

"It won't hurt any less", Baekhyun said as matter of fact. 

"It won't. But it's that pain that builds character. He'll only grown from that".

"I don't think that's true".

"You've never suffered from a heartbreak, have you?", Chanyeol said more as a retoric question. 

"No, I don't think I did", Baekhyun said resigned. 

"Sehun's not a problem, don't worry", Chanyeol said and winked. Baekhyun could feel his face becoming red by the seconds. 

"I'm not worried, Mr. Park. Not for the reasons you may be thinking. Let's make this clear. I don't condone of your lifestyle, I don't think it's my place to say. But I'm loyal to God and His principles, so you're not getting anything out of it". 

"Would you consider this if I was a woman?", he asked and his curiosity seemed genuine. 

"No, I wouldn't. This is not about you, Mr. Park, it's about me. I made a vow that I don't intend to break". 

"Well, too bad. I made a vow myself too. I won't give up on you, Baekhyun". 

"Your lust will fade in no time, don't worry", Baekhyun said, using the dismissive tone again, even if the sensation at the pity of his stomach only grew at the intensity of Chanyeol's responses. "I have to go now. Thanks for the coffee". Baekhyun got up and straightened his jeans. 

"I really enjoyed your company, Baekhyun. I'm looking forward for our next date", Chanyeol and and his smile could probably blind someone. Baekhyun did not bother to respond to his comment, only grabbing the stretched hand in front of his out of courtesy. He wasn't caught by surprise this time when Chanyeol caressed his hand so his face remained impassive. He allowed himself to enjoy being spoiled by a touch for just a second before swiftly removing his hand out of Chanyeol's touch and leaving without exchanging another word with the man. 

Baekhyun knew Chanyeol would get tired of it at some point. They did not had any reasons to see each other and Baekhyun could easily dismiss any encounter the man could come up with. The distance would only do good for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably the last update of the week so please leave your comments and how you liking the story so far. thank u xoxo


	4. Chapter 4

Baekhyun don't like his apartment, period. He didn't felt at ease in it, he could never settle and enjoy being in the comfort of his own home. After Baekhyun finished college with a degree in psychology, he had brought the apartment on a whim just because he couldn't stand the possibility of being back at his parents house. He wasn't able to save much in the four years he spent on college, but he had what was necessary to afford the place he's currently in. But he regreted almost immediately. There was nothing wrong with the apartment itself, but something about the place set Baekhyun off. He could never care enough about the place to set it properly like a home, and after he began to work at KCS it only went downhill. Baekhyun only cared enough to let the place relatively clean, even if the only room used in it were his suite. 

He woke up in his bed on Monday after a turbulent night. 

Baekhyun never thought he would lose a good night's sleep because of someone else. Even more so that someone being Park Chanyeol. But unfortunately, life is not always rainbows and butterflies, so Baekhyun spent the majority of the night tossing and turning in bed thinking about Chanyeol's words. Baekhyun still thought that it was just childish and a selfish will of someone who was used to always have everything at the palm of his hands, but his body seemed to be betraying him. Baekhyun knew he was a strong willed person, he always thought that if you put something on your mind you can achieve your goals if you could be persistent and focused. 

His mind knew that he didn't care about Chanyeol's attempts or words but his body didn't seemed to be going on the same path. 

The last time Baekhyun woke up with a morning erection he was 19 years old. He was smart and educated enough to not blame the devil for it, his religion not interfering with his education. Baekhyun knew what caused it this time, of course. He had had an unusual encounter, one that set hormones on fire on his body and that reaction was just normal, even more so after spending the whole night thinking about Chanyeol. Baekhyun knew he was at fault, have been thinking with a clouded mind and his dreams were just a proof of it. He didn't had sexual dreams with Chanyeol, no. He had dreamed about the man whispering in his ears all the words he had said the afternoon before, in that low and raspy voice that sent tingles through Baekhyun's entire body. And that was just enough to set Baekhyun's body on sexual mode. 

In his almost 10 years as a Priest, Baekhyun had masturbated probably 5 times. He knew what the Bible said about it, how sex was exclusive for the sake of the sacred wedding, how it shouldn't be used egoistically, how his body only belongs to his spouse and vice versa. But he also knew that it was good for his body, a healthy practice according to doctors and especialists. He hadn't had a problem about the act until now, knowing he couldn't fit in the description the Bible have to him. He never made use of pornography in the 5 times he had done it before, this going completely against his principles, not connecting to what he believed in. 

But when he let his hand roam over his body that Monday morning, porn was probably way less insulting than what was going through his head. Baekhyun was recklessly thinking about a man. A man, out of everything that could be going through his head, while his hand found the waistband of his pyjama pants, slowly pushing it down until his member was free of it's confines. While both his hands caressed his groin, cupping his member and balls, Baekhyun could only think of another man's hands caressing him the same way. Baekhyun's left hand slowly made it's way back on his body, stopping at his right nipple that was erected - something that never happened before - and he experimentally rub on it, only for a jolt of electricity run through his body making his back arch out of the bed and a bead of pre cum form on the head of his member. Baekhyun's right hand loomed on his lower body, traveling to his balls, only to play with them, slightly scratching them with his well trimmed nails. Baekhyun's eyes were closed when he put the tip of his finger in the head of his member, scoping out the slickness that was almost dribbling on it. Feeling the thickness of it in his finger, Baekhyun smeread it on his nipple only to play with it again, now staining his chest with his own fluid. 

Baekhyun could almost hear Chanyeol again. Could feel the hotness and humidity of his voice on his ear while he wrapped his hand around his member, slowly pumping it up and down. The slickness was everywhere now, smearing on his thights as he was making a mess on himself, caressing his thights and torso every now and again, slicking his whole body. He could picture Chanyeol at the end of his bed watching him, he could see the smirk playing on his lips, he could hear him breathing as he came closer to whisper praises on Baekhyun's ear. He could hear Chanyeol saying he was doing so well and that he was proud. He could picture Chanyeol looking at him while he increased his pace, his toes curling as his orgasm announced himself. He could hear Chanyeol asking him to moan his name when he came and Baekhyun could not deny himself the pleasure that was to have his name dirtily rolling out of his tongue when he finally shoot ribbons of white all over himself and Chanyeol's image vanished out of his mind. 

+

The time was ticking as Baekhyun lay in bed drowning in his self loathing. He just masturbated at the thought of Park Chanyeol! He would certainly never live this one out. Things were weird for him after Chanyeol's "confession" at the evening before. His thoughts were full of images of the man, in more than one imoral act. Baekhyun felt the weight of what he had done when he arrived at KCS that Monday morning. 

Watching the nuns and some of the teachers interacting, he lost track of the time and only got his mind out of his problems when a student bumped into him at the main gate and apologized. He dismissed the kid and took a deep breath as he was making his way to his office. With a polite smile on his face, Baekhyun was determined to not let his personal life affect his work. He had planned the day beforehand, knowing he would have to take care of a visitor that had scheduled a rundown of the school. The man was supposedly interested in enrolling his son for the next semester so Baekhyun would do the honors and try to make a good impression. 

The visitor was early, having arrived almost half an hour before the arranged time, but Baekhyun was free to meet him so he allowed the man in his office to start with the basics, as in letting explicit that KCS was not a boarding school and bla bla bla. Kim Minseok was a very pleasant man to talk to and Baekhyun could only imagine if the son was as lovely as the father. The conversation in the office didn't take more than ten minutes so both men were now roaming around the gardens of the school, heading to the auditorium. KCS was not extraordinarily big but it wasn't small either, so it took Baekhyun and Minseok around ten more minutes to be exactly in the middle of the school, were the Noah Fountain was installed. 

"It's beautiful", Minseok said looking at the fountain. 

"Well, is one of the school's most prized possessions, it's been here since the foundation and it's admired by all of us here. I'm glad you like it", Baekhyun said sincerely. "Heading this way we are going to the auditorium and the gym class hall. A few students are around there now, I believe the one's in your son's grade, to be honest. If you could follow me...", Baekhyun made a vague gesture with his hands as he and his companion resumed their walk. 

Baekhyun was able to crack a few jokes after the 30 minutes he spent with Minseok and he was feeling at ease with the man. He didn't the have the imposal imagine of a filthy rich father and Baekhyun liked him. He seemed to be genuinely interested in his son's education and Baekhyun went in and on about the school's program and how it prepared the students for University and all that jazz. The P.E class for the senior year had just started when Professor Zhang Yixing came by to say his greetings. 

"Hello, Baekhyun. It's been a while since I last saw you near a football court", Yixing said in an amicable mockery. "If it wasn't for me, the little one here wouldn't know he difference between a soccer ball and a basket ball", he said now directing his attention to Minseok. "I'm Zhang Yixing, P.E teacher, nice to meet you, sir", he said while shaking hands with the shorter man. 

"Yixing is one of the favorite teachers around here, Mr. Kim. And a old friend of mine, if I may say". 

"P.E was my favorite subject back in high school. I'm glad to hear my son would be in good hands".

"I'm glad to hear that you have made your mind, Mr Kim. Let's please go back to my office so we can discuss all the boring paperwork for your son transference".

With all good-byes properly said, Baekhyun and Minseok went back to the office, making small talk and being friendly. The both of them were walking slowly, having time to spare. While approaching the office, Baekhyun noticed a few nuns looking a little disheveled and kind frantic. One tried to grab his attention as subtle as possible but Baekhyun didn't want to involve Minseok in any school related problem. 

Thinking about it now, Baekhyun wish he had heard what the commotion with the nuns was about. 

Chanyeol was sitting in the leather sofa in his office, legs crossed and tousled air. He was wearing a suit but his tie was undone, giving him an approachable look. Baekhyun took a deep breath and turned back to Minseok, who had stopped behind him, waiting for Baekhyun to enter the office. 

"Mr. Kim, if it's not too much of a bother, I'll send you all the documents through email. This way you'll have time to read it carefully and sign without hesitation. Would that work for you?", He asked, voice wavering a little. 

"Of course. Whatever works best for you. But, are you okay, Mr. Byun? You look a little pale", he said with a concerned expression.

"I'm fine, thank you. I didn't had a good night's sleep so it's probably taking a toll on me. I only need a cup of coffee and I'll be ready to go. I'll contact you later this week, ok?" 

Minseok left and Baekhyun gulped before turning on his heels and entering his office. He didn't had a reason to be nervous so he straightened his clothes and held his head up before addressing the man. 

"I suppose you don't have an appointment, do you?"

"No", Chanyeol answered and his voice sent shivers down Baekhyun's spine. He had flashbacks of early in the morning and it didn't help that Chanyeol's eyes hadn't left him since he first appeared at the door. 

"We have rules, Mr. Park, that haven't been broken untill now. I would like it to stay the same"

"It's for a good cause", he said, still sprawled on the couch, arm sitting in the backrest and a smirk on his face. 

"I don't know why I find it hard to believe", Baekhyun muttered. 

Chanyeol chuckled and got up from the couch, just to lean back at the table right beside Baekhyun, who was pretending to go through some documents just so he had a reason not to look at him. The annoying desire to roll his eyes at the man was back but he had a pose to maintain. With the proximity, Baekhyun leaned against his leather chair and folded his hands on his lap. He also learned that Chanyeol smelled just as good as the day before and suddenly Baekhyun wanted to know the brand of his perfume so he could have a piece of Chanyeol for himself. Shaking the uninvited thoughts out of his head, he finally met Chanyeol's eyes when the man spoke.

"I want to make a donation", he said. 

"A donation?", Baekhyun asked puzzled. 

"Yes, to the school", his smile was so innocent that one would think he didn't had any second intentions. 

"What kind of donation?"

"Money?", he asked with his brows furrowed.

It suddenly downed on Baekhyun that Chanyeol was ready to spend money just to annoy him. 

"We don't need your money, Mr Park", Baekhyun said as a matter of fact. They didn't. “I think you can find some other use to it”. 

“Well, do you like to be spoiled?” Chanyeol said, and add up before Baekhyun could reply “I’m just kidding, relax. But I really want to make a donation", he said while sitting once again on Baekhyun's leather couch. “Can you sit here with me, Baekhyun?”

“No, I can’t and as a said, we are not in need of your money, so you can leave seeing the matter is already resolved”, Baekhyun knew now that he shouldn’t be afraid of sounding impolite with Chanyeol. 

“What about a library, then?”, he said as if Baekhyun last words didn’t meant a thing. 

“We already have one. And a cafeteria. And a dance studio. And an auditorium. Whatever you may think about we already have. We have a whole lot of sponsors that help run this school smoothly, and it has been like this even before you were born, Mr. Park. So, if you want so bad to spend your money doing charity go help someone who really needs it. I can make you a list of a lot of organizations that are struggling and need financial aid so you can happily spend your money on them”, Baekhyun said in almost one breath, Chanyeol’s dismissive way pissing him of. 

“Do you have personal relations with any of them?”, he asked without batting an eyelash. 

“Leave my office, please”, the Priest said gesturing to the door without getting up from his chair. Baekhyun was so angry he swore he could throw something at the man.

"Why does it seems like my money pisses you off?” Chanyeol asked with genuine curiosity. 

“It’s not your money, Mr. Park. If I couldn’t stand rich men that thinks they own the world through their bank account I wouldn’t be working here. It’s the way you are trying to use it that it’s taking a toll on me”, Baekhyun said and haven’t seen a reason to lie to the man. 

“And why is that?” 

“I’m not for sale”, he said without beating around the bush. 

“That was never my intention", Chanyeol said while standing up and crossing the room, stopping at Baekhyun’s side, their legs almost touching. 

“I know your intentions, Chany... Mr Park”, Baekhyun caught himself almost calling his name and that was something he would be better off without doing, seeing that the events of the morning were yet to be subsiding from his mind. “You won’t be able to buy my affection or whatever it is that you want from me”

Baekhyun notice that the man went somehow stiff by his side, almost as if he was stopping himself of doing something. And when he spoke again the sensations Baekhyun felt this morning were almost resurfacing. 

“Please, say my name. Never stop yourself from doing it. I can almost picturing you moaning it”, he said with an almost pained voice. 

His words caught Baekhyun by surprise. His breath was caught in his throat because damn it, he had moaned it and would probably moan it again. He felt Chanyeol's heat more intense now and only realised their legs were touching when Chanyeol rubbed his tight with his own. Almost as if he was electrocuted, Baekhyun got up from his chair and crossed the room in large steps, trying to keep his voice from wavering. 

“This is a sacred place, Mr. Park. I will not allow these kind of profanities inside these grounds. You’re invited to leave”, Baekhyun said with a hand on the doorknob. 

Chanyeol slowly leaned off from the table and walked towards Baekhyun. He stopped right in front of the smaller man and put his hand on top of Baekhyun's one on the door handle with a firm grip, stopping Baekhyun from refusing the touch. 

“Lets make a deal. You go out with me. 5 dates, maximum”. Chanyeol said as if his idea was completely reasonable. 

“Mr. Park. I’m going to say this one last time. I. Am. A. Priest. I don’t have dates”, Baekhyun said emphatically every word. 

“Okay. So I’ll keep coming back here every day with wonderful new suggestions of how we could spend our time together”, Chanyeol said with a smirk. 

“Is that what that whole scene was about?” Baekhyun said incredulous. 

“Yes, Baekhyun. I’m not trying to by your affection. In the worst case scenario I’m trying to buy your time”. Chanyeol said with a sigh.

“Neither is for sale”, Baekhyun said resigned.

“Then come on a few dates with me. Those are free”.

“You were the one who called a deal. A deal always has a price”

“I’ll pay it. No matter how high”, Chanyeol said it while tightening the grip on Baekhyun’s hand. 

“Will you leave me alone after that?”, Baekhyun said already wishing for that pointless argument to be over. 

“Yes, I will”.

“Then we have a deal, Mr Park”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know how to feel about this lol


	5. Chapter 5

Baekhyun liked to consider himself as a man who don’t make a lot of mistakes. He had lots of experience dealing with other people's problems, hearing their afflictions and guiding them through a safer path, so he tended to think he had learned enough to avoid making bad decisions. But he was also smart enough to know when he messed up. And he had done it, big time. 

Going on dates with Park Chanyeol was not an option. He had regretted saying yes the moment the words left his mouth, but Chanyeol being the business man that he was, knew better than to ask again; he left in a blink of an eye, saying he would text Baekhyun the details later. 

Not a single one of his brain cells agreed to what he had just done. There was no possible scenario in which this was an okay situation – and believe it, Baekhyun had thought of every option that was plausible, almost like a Catholic Dr. Stranger and his 14 billion possibilities for the Avengers on Infinity War. But there wasn’t one single scenario that this would end in good terms. But like he had already noticed, his brain to mouth filter seemed to fail when Mr. Park Chanyeol was involved. 

Dreading the day coming to an end, Baekhyun decided to stay after hours and finish some paperwork he had to take care of, but there is just some amount of work a man can do before he crumbles. It was way past 8pm when Baekhyun called it a day and left school grounds heading to his apartment. He knew it was too late ride the subway, not having in him to go through the long and tiresome commute. While pulling his phone out to ask for an Uber driver, Baekhyun heard the distinct sound of car honks in the distance. The sound wasn’t too far away but Baekhyun paid it no mind. He was almost done with his requesting when the sound got his attention again, this time accompanied by blinding lights at his direction. He didn’t need to think too much to guess who that car could belong to, so he made no effort to actually acknowledge it. 

“C’mon Byun. Hop in!”, said the voice a few feet away from him on the driver seat, head just outside of the window. Baekhyun had had enough of Park Chanyeol for a lifetime in the spam of a few hours, the last thing on his mind now was sharing the enclosed space of car with the man. Baekhyun wasn’t in the mood for screaming his words so he decided on not saying anything at all, waiting for the man to take the hint. The car got closer, until it stopped right in front of Baekhyun, with the man behind the wheel looking him dead in the eyes. 

“I’m already here, Byun. Willingly to take you home and all, like the gentleman I am”, he said giving a smile that had too much teeth.

“I’m assuming you “had your ways” for being back in here, like you had to get my phone number", Baekhyun said harshly. The priest was referencing to the fact that the school was on private grounds, so he had to go through the guarded gates to go in or out of the property. He wouldn’t be surprised if Chanyeol had bribed someone.

“Funny of you to think I ever left”, Chanyeol said in a casual tone, as if he was reading the label of a cereal box. 

“It was nearly lunchtime when you left my office, Mr. Park, there’s no way you stuck around for”, he look at his phone that read 8:08pm “8 hours. I’m pretty sure you have a job to attend to”. 

“I’m my own boss Baekhyun, I can give myself a day off". 

“And to do what? Roam around a school for the whole day? Besides, I’m pretty sure security would gently ask you to leave after classes were over”, Baekhyun argued back.

“I told them I was waiting for you and they didn’t bat an eyelash at me", Chanyeol said like he had done something extremely clever. “But you're missing the point here, Baekhyun. I stayed to take you home”. 

“With that whole stalker behavior you have going on right now, I’m extremely sure I’ll never let you anywhere near my house", Baekhyun said and Chanyeol’s laugh was instantaneous.

Chanyeol kept laughing for some time until Baekhyun took a deep breath that caught his attention again, making him say some half assed apologies and compose himself. He saw Baekhyun unlocking his phone again and spoke with a indignant tone. 

“Look, I’m harmless. I just wanna take you home. Would you rather drive with a stranger?” Chanyeol asked as if it made a lot of sense. Probably did in his own head. 

“You are a stranger, Mr. Park”, Baekhyun said as a matter of fact. 

“You’re quite hostile, aren’t you?”, Chanyeol asked but his tone wasn’t bitter or anything, he was just addressing it. 

“I’m not hostile, that’s ridiculous”, he said rolling his eyes.  
“You are towards me, at least”, the taller said.

“I have a valid reason, Mr. Park”.

“Valid reason? What’s so wrong with showing a little bit of affection?”, Chanyeol asked, brows furrowed. 

“Affection? You never showed me affection, Mr. Park! All you did was flirt and try to romance me with sweet words”, the priest said, crossing his arms on his chest.

“Did you think they were sweet?” Chanyeol asked with a lopsided grin, voice dropping.

“I’m not going to fall head over hells in love with you, Mr. Park”. 

“Who said anything about love, Mr. Byun?” None of them seemed to realize it, but Chanyeol had gone out of the car and was standing in front of Baekhyun, the priest looking up at him with a hint of anger in his eyes. He tried to stay calm and controlled, keeping his emotions at bay for as long as he could. But something about the taller man’s face, the way he never seemed to be bothered by anything, the way he never lost his side grin or how his brows kept going up and down, like he was proposing something; it irked Baekhyun like no other. 

“So you really think I’m going to give everything up for sex?”, Baekhyun was actually offended by this. How dare Park Chanyeol think so lowly of him?

“Don't you miss it?”

“We can't miss what we never had, Park. Besides, some of us are actually capable creatures, that can function well enough without sleeping with every pair of legs available” 

The atmosphere was intense, yes. Their voices were a bit louder in the dead silence surrounding them. They could hear a pin drop if it fell right now.  
“You never had sex?”, Chanyeol asked incredulous. 

“Once again, I’m a Priest. I think this conversation is starting to get repetitive”, said Baekhyun. 

“You were not always a Priest, right? How could you…”, 

“That’s not for you to concern”, Baekhyun said, putting an end on the topic. “Look Mr. Park, I had a long day, I’ll have an even longer day tomorrow, all I want right now is to go home, take a shower and sleep”, Baekhyun said, resigned. 

“Then let me take you home. With no seconds thoughts, flirts or sweet words. I’ll be on my best behavior”. 

Baekhyun pondered for three whole seconds before he saw the light on his phone going off and his battery dying on him. For as cliché as it was, Baekhyun actually had no other option now. 

“Well, it seems like I’ll have to accept, after all".

+

The drive wasn’t as miserable as Baekhyun anticipated it to be. Chanyeol haven't tried to make small talk so he was glad. The only time they actually talked was when Baekhyun was giving him the directions and when Chanyeol asked if he wanted to hear some music. The drive wasn’t long so in fifteen minutes they arrived at Baekhyun's building. It wasn’t much, the priest not being one to enjoy luxury. His neighborhood was calm, safe but no secluded. He may not like being in his apartment very much, but at least the location wasn’t as bad. 

“Thank vou for the ride, Mr. Park. Have a good night”, Baekhyun said while unbuckling his seatbelt. 

“Are you free this weekend?”, Chanyeol said without beating around the bush. 

“Look, if this is about our earlier agreement, I don’t think I can do it”, he sighed. “It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, just to get you off my back. I’m pretty sure you already know all the reasons and whys. I think we started this in the wrong foot, so why don’t we try to be friends?”, he finished tiredly. 

Chanyeol was silent for a whole minute. Baekhyun waited and waited but it seemed like he wasn’t getting anything out of the man. As he was opening the door though, Chanyeol spoke in a low voice. 

“I can’t make you do anything you don't want, Baekhyun. If you don’t want the dates, then we won't go on dates. But, unfortunately for you, I am a very persistent person. I’ll be sure to follow all the rules you may have, but you’ll see me a whole lot around that school of yours. I know I can be obnoxious and rude, but I’m just confident. I know where I stand with how I feel about you, and I won’t deny my attraction, I'm not ashamed of it. But as I said, this is all up to you”. 

Baekhyun took one last breath as he said a weak goodbye and almost ran towards his apartment. 

-

There were notes everywhere! Baekhyun was getting sick and tired of having so much paper in his desk every first Wednesday of the month. He had no idea how the tradition started, it had been long before he was the headmaster. On that day, every month, was “Praise Day". It’s literally what the name suggests, praises being given all around. No one ever bothered to explain to him who was the nutcase who started that, but Baekhyun was tempted to hate them a little bit more day by day, - especially today. He knew he was likeable, even when he had to be tougher than he would like to maintain the order, but he had no idea he was this popular. 

His desk was overflowing with stick notes that went from “good job, Mr. Byun", to “You’re handsome", to “I love you, Sir”. He should be more concerned with all the confessions, considering this being an all boys school, but if there was one thing he wasn’t, was a hypocrite. He shouldn’t pretend to have a problem with that. The praises, when harmless, made him feel good and drove him to work harder to maintain that relationship with his staff and alumni. But the confessions, some a little more explicit than he would consider acceptable, didn’t nothing to him. They were anonymous so of course he couldn’t know who they belong to and have a heart to heart to say something about it. He put all of his students in his prayers, everyday. Wednesday’s a little bit more than the rest of the week. 

Baekhyun took a deep breath after putting all the notes in a box and stacking together with all the others he had in the corner of his bookshelf, since he never had the courage to throw them away. As he was going back to his chair, he went to close his blinds, the clarity outside making his head ache a little. When Baekhyun stood by the window, hands on the blind, something caught his eye. 

Baekhyun's floor to ceiling glass window had a view of the whole school's entrance. He saw everyone that came and went, cars parked and the big old green gate that adorned the first walls. He also saw Oh Sehun leaning against Park Chanyeol, enveloping him in a hug, while the older man kissed his shoulder. It could be deemed as innocent, an act of affection between siblings. But Sehun became bolder, not caring where he was, and snaked his hand through Chanyeol's hair, pulling him down for a quick kiss, just a brush of lips. Baekhyun knew he should call Sehun in, give him a earful about his attitude, remind him that despite how easygoing he was, Baekhyun was still a Priest and the headmaster of his school. His Catholic school. The one he shouldn’t be in front of kissing another man. Baekhyun knew he should do that, but in a split second when his eyes met Chanyeol's, looking right into him and giving a smile that could easily be directed at Sehun if his attention was on the young student. But all his attention was on Baekhyun, all his strength was in his arms when he pulled Sehun against him and kissed him, for real this time, hands on his waist. But his eyes were open, gauging Baekhyun’s every reaction. Baekhyun didn’t know how long that kiss lasted because he closed the blinds with so much force he thought they wouldn’t ever open again.  
Baekhyun swore his days had 35 hours. It wasn’t possible that only 3 hours had passed since he arrived at school. He had done so much thing that it seemed like a whole day had passed by. He had just finished emailing some documents to another school about a student that his recent transferred when his phone rang. 

“Yes?”, he said without looking at the numbers. 

“Your voice sounds better in person”, said the voice at the other side of the line. 

“Mr. Park”, he regarded the man with a sigh.

“Happy Praise Day", Baekhyun could hear the smirk on his voice. 

“How do you know about that? And that was hardly a praise", he said before he could think. 

“Well, Sehun likes being praised. So he made sure I’m a part of your Wednesday tradition. And", he continued with a more pronounced smile on his voice “You look beautiful when you’re flustered”. 

“Mr. Park I…”

“Like this morning", Chanyeol cut him, “when you were looking at me through your window. I couldn’t see clearly but I bet you were red. Was it embarrassment or desire, Sir?” 

“You really have no limits, have you?” Baekhyun anticipated being more upset, but it seemed Chanyeol’s crudeness didn’t took him by surprise anymore. “I thought we had agreed on being friends. To try at least.”

“I said I would follow your rules, Baekhyun. Do this at your own accord, but I’m not backing down.”

“I don’t have any rules, Mr. Park. I’m not doing this”. 

“Bye, Baekhyun". Baekhyun felt a really strong wish to throw his cellphone at the nearest wall. That man was going to drive him to insanity. He wasn’t familiar with so many intense feelings at once. No one had him crawling off his skin like this before. He knew he should avoid, should treat it like one his students, were he didn’t give them the time of the day and it would eventually fade. But Chanyeol had something that made Baekhyun answer to him every time. He had a force around him that made nearly impossible for him to put the needed distance between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> were you looking forward for the dates?I'm so sorry but everything happens for a reason don't worry. The pace may seem kinda off rn but were getting there


	6. Chapter 6

The rest of the week passed by in a blink of an eye. He had almost two full days of peace and quietness, but Friday night had to stab him at the back. Baekhyun was fresh out of the shower, wearing grey sweatpants and a white shirt when his intercom rang; it was the doorman of his building saying an Oh Sehun was looking for him. Baekhyun could only assume the worst when he asked for the boy to go up to his apartment. It didn’t take him more than a minute to hear his doorbell. 

“Why am I not surprised?”, Baekhyun said annoyed when he opened the door.

“You wouldn't have let me in, would you?”, Chanyeol said while wearing a serious expression, something unusual for him.

“That’s beside the point. What are you doing here?” 

“I have a problem.” 

“Is this some kind of an unwelcome innuendo?”, Baekhyun said wary. Even though Chanyeol had seemed more serious than the previous times they met, Baekhyun knew better.

“Unfortunately not. I really need some perspective here.” 

“Come in, then.”

Baekhyun made space for him and the man entered his apartment. He hadn’t really imagined Chanyeol there and now it felt almost awkward. He hadn’t completely forgotten about the dream he had with the man and having him in his space, leaving his smell and presence there made him no good. 

“Sehun wants more than I can give him" – said Chanyeol after settling down on Baekhyun's couch. 

Baekhyun was glad that Chanyeol didn’t commented on the emptiness of his apartment, knowing the man was probably used to luxury, being a tech genius and all. To be fair, Chanyeol didn’t seem to register his surroundings, looking really troubled – for Baekhyun’s surprise. 

“I thought you already knew that”, the priest said. “I remember you telling me something about not being the one for him and that you would only help him grow”.

“I know what I said and I stand by that, but…” he ran his fingers through his meticulous styled hair, tousling it a bit. “But he started demanding things that I can’t give.”

“Like what?”, Baekhyun asked. Chanyeol seemed to be pretty consistent about Sehun; even though he didn’t love him, he cherished him. Baekhyun had a hard time imagining what was it that Sehun wanted that Chanyeol wouldn’t gladly give. 

“Love? I mean, he never really demanded anything from me, Sehun had been okay with whatever I give him. But this past few weeks he have been… pushing, I think? For, ahn, words and gestures.”

“And why does it bother you? You may not love him but you seem to want him by your side. Love is something that takes time, Mr. Park.” Even if Baekhyun wasn’t a fan of that relationship, Sehun seemed happy. And that was enough for Baekhyun for now.

“I don’t want to be with him just because he wants to be with me. I don’t want it because is comfortable or whatever. He deserves more than that.” Chanyeol said, resigned. 

Baekhyun could see Chanyeol was deep in thoughts, he could see him trying to come up with a solution that was good for the both of them while trying to choose his words and not lost his train of thoughts. That man had a lot going on in his mind, Baekhyun was sure of that at least. But he also knew that he was not the best person to seek advice from. 

“And why are you here specifically?”

“We had a fight, then I got in the car and found myself here. Your fault though”, Chanyeol said in a lighter tone, the smirk Baekhyun was used to now subtly appearing on his face. “You shouldn’t have given me your address”.

“It was you or the subway. I rather endure 15 minutes with you than 1 hour in a packed train”, Baekhyun responded, already regretting – and remembering – the leather seat, air conditioner, pepper mint smell of Chanyeol’s car. 

“You can have all of my 15 minutes if you want”, Chanyeol said with a wink. 

“We were talking about Sehun”, Baekhyun remembered impassive.

“And now we're talking about us." The older man said, slouching on the couch. 

“There is no us, Mr. Park.” Baekhyun said while getting up and heading towards the door. “And if that’s all, I don’t have much to say to you. That’s a problem you have to solve by yourself. I just pray that you don’t hurt him too much, the kid likes you a lot.”

The door was now open and Baekhyun stood with the hand on the doorknob, looking straight at Chanyeol while he slowly got up from the couch, adjusting his jeans then stopping at an arms length away from Baekhyun. 

“At least someone does", he said in a rushed voice. “Thank you for your time, Baekhyun”. 

“God bless you, Mr. Park.”

+

Baekhyun stood at the school's gate, hands behind his back and a smile on his face. It had been a while since he had made the first hour, a practice the nuns always insisted on doing; he just had to stay at the doors until every student was inside the school then make the signal of the cross while facing the gates for blessings and protection. Almost every student was already in, but Baekhyun's eyes were looking for one among them all; he hadn't seem Sehun yet and was getting worried that the fight he had last night with Chanyeol was a bigger deal than the taller let on. 

A few minutes before the gates close, Sehun got out of his family's car looking miserable. He had bags under his eyes, his hair wasn’t combed and his clothes were wrinkled.

Baekhyun looked at him with sad eyes. Sehun don’t deserve a life like that. He deserves happiness, love… But Baekhyun could only see suffering and tiredness. The student passed by him with his head down, didn’t spare him a glance. Baekhyun refrained himself from calling him, not wanting to drive attention to the situation. He knew it was not going to be easy to approach it, he didn’t knew if he even had to. But he liked Sehun; the least he could do was offer him a shoulder and words of wisdom. 

Sitting in his office in the 20 minutes or so he had before heading to the auditorium, Baekhyun thanked God at least a thousand times when Sehun came to him willingly, asking for a word. Baekhyun had had that conversation in his head at least a thousand times since he woke up, but now that the time has finally come, he wasn’t sure of what to say. 

“What can I help you with, darling?”, Baekhyun said as the student spent a few minutes in silence in front of him, fidgeting on his seat. 

“I had a fight with Chanyeol last night. And I know you’re the last person I should have come for advice, especially because of the type of relationship that I have, but you're the only one who knows… and I don’t know what to do.” The student said, all in one breath. 

Clearing his throat, Baekhyun answered, “Ok. What was the fight about? He did something to you?”, he couldn’t say he knew about the fight and besides, Chanyeol hadn’t actually said anything. 

“He don’t accept that I’m love with him!”, Sehun said frustrated. Baekhyun waited for him to elaborate. “Chanyeol has his own ways of showing affection, especially when it comes to me. He becomes too guarded. He gets upset when I express my feelings, saying I’m too young to know what love means and bla bla bla. And I know he don’t love me, I'm not stupid. But I can love for the both of us. But last night I asked for a cuddle, and he got mad!”, Sehun was almost vibrating in his seat. “He got mad because I asked him to hold me, how messed up is that?! He was never the most romantic out there, but now I feel like he just comes at me for sex". 

It seemed like Sehun was done with his outburst but Baekhyun needed some time to process everything. He took a deep breath while Sehun composed himself. 

“Well, I’ll be honest with you, even if I think that’s probably not what you want to heart right now.” Baekhyun leaned on the table, elbows resting on the mahogany piece. “Mr. Park don’t love you, you said so yourself. You don’t deserve to be treated like this, you’re just condemning yourself in a relationship like that. What will you get out of this? Sehun, he is not the only man in the world. If that’s really what you want, I’m sure there are tons of good men out there, ready to give you all the love they can. You're so young, darling. It may feel like the end of world right, but it isn’t. Have you ever considered breaking things off? Meet a new person?”, Sehun shaked his head. “Then you should. Mr. Park is not a bad person, I assume, but he’s not good for you. No one is worth making you feel like this.” Baekhyun covered Sehun shaking hands with his. 

“I’m not ready to give him up.” Sehun admitted, eyes downcast. 

“You’ll be eventually.” Baekhyun assured him, squeezing his hands. “Just don’t let the love you have for him blind the love you need to have for yourself, ok?”

“Thank you, Mr. Byun.” Sehun said with a sincere smile. “That was easier than I thought it would be. I thought you would jump at the chance to “ungay" me.” They both chuckled. 

“You know that before I took my theology major, I did psychology? I even have a master…” Sehun seemed surprised and Baekhyun laughed. “I’m a Catholic. I believe in God and I go by His laws. But I also think that people have problems that are more complex than just good or bad, heaven or hell. The church itself is too inflexible and we're not a 100% on the same page when in it comes to human nature. That’s why I took psychology; I wanted a wider view of things so I wouldn’t be brainwashed by things I never believed in in the first place. I can’t change who you are, for it is not bad nor a disease, like a lot claim. The human nature is way to flawed for God to judge you based on who you love. Be it a man, woman or no one at all, there’s depravity in all of us; there will always be sins on this Earth. And I think a lot of people choose to focus on the wrong one.” Baekhyun finished it with a thin smile. 

“You’re like, the coolest priest ever.” Sehun said with a spark in his eyes. 

×

The auditorium was packed with grumpy students that Saturday morning. Baekhyun himself wasn’t thrilled to be at the school in a weekend but they didn’t had time during week days to do the announcement so the school decided on a mandatory presence that Saturday. Baekhyun got up the stage and after a minute or so all the attention in the room was on him.

“Good morning, everyone!” He waited until the students greeted him back. “I know all of us rather be sleeping now but let’s not forget that laziness is a deadly sin, right? Besides, the day is beautiful, just like the reason we're all gathered here today.” 

Baekhyun wasn't one for surprises, but this one he actually liked. The school’s boarder called him last night to schedule the announcement he was about to make and he was rather happy with the news. 

“We’re having an extra school trip this year!” When it dawned on everyone what he had just said, he heard the high fives and excited chats. “Ok, calm down. That is not even the best part", he chuckled. “We’re going to the countryside for a whole weekend, before your first exams of the semester. How does it sound?” Only a weekend of doing nothing could lift those guys spirits, Baekhyun noticed. “You can all pick your forms at the reception desk with Ms. Yoon once you leave, and I need them signed on my desk by Wednesday. We're going next weekend so don’t forget to ask your responsible adult for permission as soon as possible. I hope to see you all there.”

+

It would be a lie if Baekhyun said he was surprised when he saw Chanyeol at the school's gate after everyone else had gone and he made his way out. The impromptu trip lifted his spirit but at the same time, it gave him a ton of extra work. Documents to sort out, arrangements to do, decisions to make; he hated to have last minutes issues and things to stress him out at the eve of events like that. But if Chanyeol being there wasn’t news, Sehun being by his side certainly gave Baekhyun a thing or two to think about. The students said he wasn’t ready to call it quits with the older, but Baekhyun assumed the disagreement would last more than a day. 

He was about to avoid the couple but Sehun caught his eye, becoming him closer. 

“Good afternoon, boys”, said Baekhyun as neutral as possible. 

“Mr. Byun, you won’t believe that!”, Sehun said excited, almost bouncing on his feet. 

Baekhyun couldn’t contain his smile while watching Sehun. The younger had his hands clasped around Chanyeol’s, eyes with such light they could rival the sun. 

“Can you believe Chanyeol is the one responsible for this trip?”, Sehun said. Baekhyun felt his body going rigid, his head becoming hot way too fast for it to be normal. “He said he wanted to surprise me, isn’t that sweet?”, the younger continued while side hugging Chanyeol, who was looking at Baekhyun with that damned smirk. 

“The board told me it was sponsored by one of our patrons”, was the first thing that came out of Baekhyun’s mouth, and it seemed to delight Chanyeol, who spoke this time. 

“I have been in touch with the school’s board, told them I was interested in contributing. You see, there’s something here that really interests me.” He tight his hold around Sehun but eyes never left Baekhyun the entire time, almost like a challenge. “They said I’m more than welcome and I’ll be a great addition to the team. Then I persuaded them of this little get away for the students”, he finished. 

“He said it’s an apology for what happened yesterday”, Sehun said seeming proud. “You do like grand gestures, don’t you?”, the boy kissed his cheek. 

Baekhyun was silent because he honestly didn’t know what to say. Chanyeol did warned him that he would see him more around the school, but Baekhyun never thought he would go so overboard. 

“You couldn’t just say you were sorry?”, Baekhyun asked, a little petulant. “I know you don’t see the world as I do, Mr. Park, but I’m pretty sure that both you and I can agree that a board member having an affair with a student would never be appropriate.” Baekhyun didn’t mean to make Sehun feel uncomfortable but he was angry and Chanyeol was irresponsible. 

"Mr. Byun, I’m sure Chanyeol has the best interest at heart”, Sehun seemed a little deflated. It was obvious Baekhyun’s opinion was important to the kid, and seeing the priest not sharing his happiness damped his mood a bit. 

“Mr. Byun, you know I didn’t do it for Sehun", Chanyeol said in a calm voice. Baekhyun’s eyes went wide for a second before he composed himself and Chanyeol continued. “My company it’s expanding it’s views, we trying to approach a more philanthropic work, helping places and causes we believe in. I decided to start here because yes, there is personal reason, but also because of my work, which is the most important thing to me. I would never jeopardize that, nor you”, he said the last part looking at Baekhyun, but placing a lovely kiss on Sehun head. The younger seemed content again. 

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Mr. Park.”

Baekhyun said goodbye to Sehun and marched to the subway station. He needed a distraction and the subway always gave him a singer or two to take his mind out of things. But it seemed that no even a choir could make Baekhyun stop thinking in just what kind of mess Chanyeol was turning his life. No amount of reasoning could explain to him what the man could possibly want if he was willing to go to such extremes. Baekhyun knew how to impose himself, he was the headmaster to a school full of teenage boys, and he was respected! So why he just couldn’t put an end to Chanyeol and his chase? Why it seemed like he never put enough strength to his words to be taken seriously?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! last update the week, let me know what you guys think, I love to hear from you x


	7. Chapter 7

Weekends were made to work, apparently. Baekhyun knew the week would pass by in a blur with the students looking forward for the trip. When Monday came by, the priest had seen Chanyeol’s name more times that he was able to count. If Baekhyun had any doubts about the CEO being serious with all the sponsor crap, he sure wasn’t anymore. Chanyeol had gone all out with the trip; Plane ticket for all the students and staff were brought by Park Tech; the hotel they were staying in was rented by Park Tech; even the buses that were going to take them from the school to the airport was Chanyeol’s doing. And to top it all, Baekhyun was now sitting in front of Chanyeol and the CEO of the school, Mr. Lee So Man, to go over a few last details.

“I just got off the phone with the hotel and since it was such a short notice, they couldn’t close it to us only. Do you already know how many students are going? They don’t have much rooms available”, Chanyeol said and the reality of it was so foreign to Baekhyun. Renting a whole hotel for a weekend? How much money and influence should a person have to be able to pull something like this? 

“The school have around 300 students. How many have confirmed, Baekhyun?”, So Man asked. 

“Around half of them. But not all of the staff will go, so probably around 350 people if all the students confirm”. 

“They have 55 rooms available for us. Would they be ok with sharing?”, Chanyeol asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes that didn’t pass by Baekhyun. 

“They are teens, Mr. Park, of course they would be ok with sharing a room with their friends”. So Man said, sharing a knowing look with Chanyeol that made Baekhyun want to roll his eyes. 

\+ 

Wednesday came by in a blink of an eye. 239 students were confirmed for the trip plus 43 nuns to assist within it. That left them with a total of 289 people to share 55 rooms. A tight fit, no wonder. Baekhyun was starting to rethink about every word he had used to describe that trip now. Instead of ecstatic he was pissed. He had no idea how he would fit 5 to 6 students in just one room because someone acted without thinking. How could Chanyeol plan something like a trip to so many people without even knowing if they were going to be able to accommodate them all? But it didn’t seem like a problem for anyone else but him. When he announced the amount of students per room he already saw them starting to sort out groups – no one wanting to be away from friends. It would be much wiser if the school took part in dividing them but it was a job Baekhyun wasn’t capable of doing. The trip hadn’t even started yet and Baekhyun was already looking for the end. The 5 whole days of planning – 5 days almost filled to the brim with Park Chanyeol – exhausted him. He never thought he would see Chanyeol as much as he saw him in the last 3 days, it irked him; But Baekhyun also knew how to give credit where credit is due: Chanyeol seemed really interested in the trip. He took part in the planning, made calls, wrote in his laptop, bit the end on a pen; like he actually was worried the students would be having a good time. Baekhyun was amazed when he sat by Chanyeol’s side looking at the hotel and everything the man prepared for trip, like he actually had gave it a lot of thought. Baekhyun could only assume he had a secretary to do all that for him but Chanyeol knew his way around what he was saying, like he actually put his time in doing it. 

The hotel they were staying in was The Shilla Hotel, in Jeju Island. The hotel was amazing, to say the least. They had double and single rooms – they would be only using doubles, since they had too many people, too little space. The rooms each had a spacious living room with two sofas, a flat screen tv, two queen sized beds and a bathroom with windows that had an amazing view of the ocean. The rest of the hotel consisted in a lot of open space, and a variety of activities for the students to choose from. Baekhyun was glad they would have something to do rather than be nose deep in their phones all day. He was also glad that, even though he had to endure Chanyeol’s presence throughout his day, the man seemed really focused and not even once made any kind of inappropriate regard not did he looked at Baekhyun in a way that wasn’t professional. Maybe the trip was actually an apology to Sehun, after all. 

Or maybe not…

Baekhyun wasn’t against too many things in his life. He was an open minded person, always hears both sides of a story before coming to a conclusion and all that jazz, but if there was something he couldn’t stand, no matter how hard he tried, were the words “share" and “room" in the same sentence. No matter how hard he tried, Baekhyun was never good at sharing his personal space. Back in his college days, Baekhyun remembered how much he struggled until he got a solo room. He had 3 hellish months with that insufferable roommate of his, with his overexcited personality, loud voice and no sense of space. He would never forget the brat that was Huang Zitao. 

But if things were bad for him with only one other person in his space, how could he expect to have peace of mind with another 4 pair of eyes side eyeing him? He knows that he should not bother nor he his upset about sharing with the nuns. But he can't.

“I only have a problem, though”, Baekhyun said when the meeting was almost over. Chanyeol had already gone through the details with the hotel – and the drivers and basically everyone he could call to impose his power on, so they didn’t actually have nothing else to do it or say about the trip, but to wait until Friday. “I am not comfortable with sharing a room. I know I’m in no place to demand one of my own with the current situation, but I’m sure we can come with a solution that won't be prejudicial to anyone”. He said as politely as he could. 

“Is there any reason for this?”, asked So Man. 

“Just a personal preference”, Baekhyun shrugged. 

“Well, I’m sorry about this, Mr. Byun, but as you said so yourself, we are already on a complicated situation here. Giving you a room all to yourself would just be extremely selfish. I’m sure the nuns would not bother to be in your presence, if that’s something that worries you. You don’t need to be scared”.

“I’m not scared. I just don’t like it", Baekhyun said, even if the argument itself wasn’t really a good one; he certainly sounded like a spoiled kid. 

“Hm…”, Baekhyun heard Chanyeol clearing his throat and turned his head towards him. “I could help with your problem, Mr. Byun”, he said without taking his eyes off the screen of his notebook. He types probably five more words before he tunes his eyes into Baekhyun’s ones. “I have a… house, you could call it, around the hotel. It’s probably a 5 minutes walk. You're welcome there any time”.

Baekhyun waited until he could grasp the joke, the intentions behind the offer. But as soon as Chanyeol finished talking his eyes came back to the screen, like he didn’t care at all if Baekhyun would take up on his offer or not. 

“That would be delightful, and it’s really kind of you to offer, Mr. Park”, said So Man almost drooling over the man.

Baekhyun weighted the pros and cons of the situation. He really had a big, fat prejudice against sharing a room, and the solution just presented himself, even if it had to be in the form of Park Chanyeol. But Baekhyun could not deny that he would very much like to have a room to himself to get out of the madness that was going to be that weekend. 

“Thank you, Mr. Park. If it doesn't bother you, I will accept your invitation. It’s not everyone, even more so in your position, that leaves a stranger inside their houses like that".

Baekhyun shivered when those calculating eyes landed on him again. The smirk he was so good at hiding was there again to see the light of the day. He then knew he had dug his own grave.

“Oh, you're hardly a stranger, Mr Byun", Chanyeol said with the most fake sweet intonation someone could ever use. It was mocking, dripping with sarcasm. “And besides, you won’t be alone”. 

Baekhyun couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He didn’t like the way Chanyeol was looking at him now; like he had won. 

“I’ll spend the weekend there too".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone said a cliffhanger? this chapter is short than the other ones, but i had a busy week :( hope you like it and thank you for reading. xo


	8. Chapter 8

It was harder than Baekhyun thought to accept that he was played. It was like Chanyeol had been manipulating him little by little, playing him like a tiny piece in his game to put him right where he wanted him. Baekhyun tried and tried and tried again to take back on his words but in front of Soo Man there was just so much he could say. He didn’t want to shine a light at whatever it was that that they had going – afraid that it would somehow trace back to Sehun, he said to himself – but it was so hard to just give in. What a weekend with Chanyeol meant? What could the taller man make out of it if Baekhyun seemed willingly to go with him? 

Baekhyun knew he was the one to suggest they became friends and of course he wanted to distance Chanyeol from the thoughts he had about him, but not so abruptly; not so suddenly. He knew he could be making a fuss out of it, Chanyeol was not a person he was afraid of, he wouldn’t hurt no one and, like Chanyeol himself said, never force anything on Baekhyun. But that was the part of Baekhyun that was wary: where did he draw the line? What was it that he didn’t want? He was sure of himself but Chanyeol knew how to string him along, knew all the right words to make the deepest part of Baekhyun stir with interest; it was nature in is most raw form and Baekhyun was nothing more than just a man.

-

The weekend couldn’t have come quicker. It was like the days had less hours, the minutes going by in a blink of an eye. Friday morning couldn’t have been better for a trip: the sky was a light shade of blue, no clouds on sight, the sun was shining brightly above his head when Baekhyun was making his way through a crowded gate in front of KCS. He saw 3 buses stationed in line, the Head nun with a attendance list already in her hand. It was 7:34 in the morning and he never saw those students smiling so much so early in the day. 

When everyone was already in and ready to go, Baekhyun made a last call check and off they went. The trip to the airport wasn’t long so the students didn’t had time to actually fool around too much. Of course a few songs were shouted, a few curses were whispered and a few dirty looks were given. The 30 minutes commute ended rather fast and they arrived at the airport right on time to start the check in. A few students already found a comfortable spot to wait for their 9:35 flight. 

Baekhyun was sitting in a rather uncomfortable chair when Sehun approached him, sitting by his side. 

“Good morning, Mr. Byun", the student say while taking off his sunglasses. “Chanyeol told me you’ll be staying at his house these weekend. I wish I could be there with you to keep you company.” The way he looked so earnest and sincere made Baekhyun smile. The way he seemed clueless about Chanyeol’s staying in the house made him squirm. 

“I’m really glad that you so thoughtful, Sehunnie”, he gave him a half hearted smile, hoping it could pass as sleepiness. “I’m sure the housekeepers will be a delightful company and I’m used to live alone anyway, so it’s fine for me”, Baekhyun said. 

“How do you manage? I’m terrified of being alone”, he said with a sigh. 

“I’m always in the presence of God and so are you. The concept of being alone is rather vague for me. People tend to be afraid of it because they are afraid of the Devil", Baekhyun says with a smile. “But if you believe in Hell you also believe in Heaven, right? There's no bad that exists without a good".

“Oh, I know. But I’m not talking about spending a weekend alone, that I can manage", Sehun said with a wink. “I’m talking about forever, like you. Don’t you feel lonely?”

Baekhyun’s breath caught in his throat. No one had ever being so blunt with him while asking that question, no even his mother. She used to make jokes and give him hints about wanting grandchildren, but she never asked him how he felt. He never asked himself that. Baekhyun knew about all the “no's" that he chose when he became a priest, and it never bothered him. He knew that if Sehun had asked the same question to him 2 months ago he wouldn’t bat an eyelash before answering it because no, he didn’t felt lonely, he had all that he wanted being surrounded by his students and the parishioners. But now; now Baekhyun had had a taste, a feeble taste of something, someone. Loneliness now felt so much heavier in his tongue. 

“Do I have the time to feel lonely, Sehunnie?", he answered at least, looking around with a small smile. 

“No, I suppose you don't”, Sehun said with a thoughtful face. 

-

Baekhyun wasn’t a fan of planes. He rather have the solid ground behind his feet, thank you so much. So when the plane took off, he trusted his 17ish years old students to behave like proper almost adults so he could put on his ear plugs and pretend he was having a good time until they landed. 

It was more than an 1 hour later when Baekhyun and his students got off the plane. It was a little bit of a mess to put them all together, a lot of them trying to merge without being spotted put together like little kids in vacation. But it was a school trip and Baekhyun was responsible for all of those people. Baekhyun led the horde of students out of Jeju International Airport to the 3 black buses waiting for them. Another 50 minutes of driving waited for them and Baekhyun could only sigh before sitting down. 

The clock marked 11:47 when they arrived at the most beautiful place Baekhyun had ever seem. He was sure that places a like that only existed in movies but he was pretty much wrong. He was in awe as he passed by the gates of The Shilla Hotel and was awarded with the view of a lifetime. It was beautiful there with all those Palm Trees and that big pool in the middle of the entrance. He had no idea something could look so blue. Everyone seemed to be in the same state as his, except for a handful of students that probably spent every summer vacation there. Inside the hotel didn’t disappointed either. The architecture reminded him of the Ancient Greek but with that right touch of modernity. He was never the one to care about luxury but he could go on and on about that place. He was almost regretting not waking up here for the next days. 

With everyone checked into their rooms – only one student was responsible for the room key or it would be a catastrophe – Baekhyun went to sort out the nuns and their sleeping arrangement. 

“So everyone is comfortable that way?”, Baekhyun asked Mrs. Yoon, the Head Nun. 

“Yes, my dear. No troubles for us. But where are you staying?”, she asked, curious.

Baekhyun didn’t had the time to come up with an explanation for that. He would not lie to them and say he would be sleeping in the hotel but he couldn’t actually tell them he would be sleeping at one of the school sponsor's house. 

“I have a relative that lives close by and ill be staying with them for the weekend.” He said, already regretting the lie. 

“Oh, they must be well off if they live around here". 

“Yes, yes. They’re from my father side of the family but we don’t have much contact.” How many times has he lied since he met Park Chanyeol? 

Baekhyun excused himself saying he would like to take a walk around the hotel while the students accommodated themselves. He couldn’t dare to stay one more minute and let another lie slip past his lips. It was nothing like him to be spilling lies on and off but he could not bring himself to be honest; not even with himself. 

At 1pm all the students and staff gathered in the main dinner hall for a special lunch provided by The Sponsor. 

“Are you all comfortable?” Baekhyun said after been giving a microphone. He didn’t knew he would have to make some sort of speech, he wasn’t good when put on the spot like this, he liked to have his time to plan his words. “First of all, let’s thank God for allowing us to be here today safe and healthy.” He closed his eyes and let his prayers take over him, in silence like the rest of the hall. “Now, we should also thank our lovely school for giving us all this gift. This place is beautiful, isn’t it? Let’s make our stay here unforgettable, shall we? So be respectful, responsible, obedient and have as much fun as you wish”, he finished quickly and sat with the rest of the nuns in one if the long tables available for them. 

The lunch was rather uneventful, his students actually behaving and not having to be reprimanded not even once; Baekhyun felt proud. A few other guests of the hotel went by and gave them weird looks – be it by the amount of people or because the priest and the nuns sitting around. Baekhyun could see the nuns being completely unbothered by it; he knew that it shouldn’t surprise him, the youngest of them all were already in her 50s, they were used to it by now. He also didn’t had a problem, his choice of clothing was nothing out of ordinary: black slacks and black shirt, the only thing standing out being his clerical collar. But everyone that passed by and spared them a look made their students squirm in their seats. Baekhyun could see a pattern and a problem.

Sensing a problem could possibly arise from that behavior, Baekhyun got up from his table and asked for a word with Qian Kun, the Class President of Senior Year. They moved to a gigantic window, looking for privacy. 

“What’s wrong?” Baekhyun asked without beat around the bush. 

“What’s wrong with what?”, Kun asked, seeming puzzled. 

“With you all looking like you rather be swallowed by the earth than being here when another guest pass by", Baekhyun said humorless. 

“Well, ahn…” Kun seemed uncomfortable being called out, scratching behind his neck. “It makes us a little… embarrassed? I don’t know if that’s the right word, but it fits. It makes us look bad”. 

“Bad? Why being with a group of religious would make you look bad?” It didn’t make sense to Baekhyun. They would look bad if seeing with robbers or drug dealers. But churchman?

“Well, we don’t want to look like a bunch of freaks indoctrinated by the church. We don’t want people to think we here to like, start to preach out of nowhere. We don’t want anyone avoiding us because they think we're fanatical devotees or something.” Kun was a bit pale when he finished, probably afraid of Baekhyun’s reaction. 

“Kun, I’m not going to say it makes sense to me. You all clearly look like normal teens to me, none of you looks like you’re about to recite the Holy Bible in the middle of the pool”. Baekhyun said.

“That’s because you know us. They don’t. What if we're like a religious cult or something? I don’t know what does through their heads. Why would we be here, in such a place, with you all?”, he gestures for Baekhyun’s table. “You said yourself this place is amazing, but how will you enjoy it if seems like you're ready for a funeral?” 

“There is nothing wrong with our clothes, son. You know we are not commoners, we have to distinguish ourselves in a way”, Baekhyun explained, even if he knew where they were coming from. 

“I know, and I respect that. But they are not really adequate for a place like this, are they?”

“You don’t think we’ll be dressed like this for the whole weekend, right?”, Baekhyun said smiling. He understood the students dilemma and had already discussed that question with the nuns a few days prior. But it was good to see them speaking their minds. 

“You won't?”, Kun asked and released the breath he didn’t knew he was holding. 

“No, boy", Baekhyun said with a fond smile while patting the boy in the back. “As you said, these are not the appropriate clothes for this place. But you do know that we won’t be around wearing bathing suits, right?” 

After Kun giving the news to the rest of the students, they seemed a little less uncomfortable. Baekhyun had a long discussion with the nuns about that. They weren’t oppose at not wearing the religious habit but they were adamant on keeping the veil. Baekhyun himself would keep his collar.

The lunch ended and everyone went to their respective rooms, some to change and enjoy the hotel, others to catch up on sleep. It was not possible to keep track of more than 230 students, so they decided to stipulate a time to everyone to gather together by the lobby. They would divide the call list for floors and the nuns responsible would be seeing everyone out at night. Baekhyun tried to give the students as much space as he could, seeing the place was highly protected, secluded and he was not dealing with kids anymore. They knew the rules and knew better than going around causing trouble. He was rather proud to say his students were quite disciplined. 

Baekhyun found himself laying in a hammock, looking at the Palm trees that were so big he could not see the top of their leaves. He liked a modest life, nothing about that lifestyle was appealing to him. He knew the buckets of money Chanyeol threw away so they could be here, so he could be laying here, thinking about a million and one things. Money that could be actually going to people who needed, money who could be making a difference. He felt dirty by being there, by being handed glasses of cold drinks while not spending a penny. 

He had no idea about how long he had being there, but his clothes where starting to bother him, making him too hot under the sun. His luggage was up on Mrs. Yoon room, and he wasn’t about to go there to change and mess up his suitcase since that was not his room. His room wasn’t at the hotel. His room was at Chanyeol’s house. 

He had tried not to think about that for as long as he could but it seemed like now was the time. While making his way up to the rooms, Baekhyun got his cellphone and texted the number Chanyeol texted him weeks ago when he invited him for a coffee. He hoped that was the right number because the last thing he wanted now was to text a total stranger.

**For: Mr. Park**

Hello, Mr. Park. We already arrived at the hotel. It’s a beautiful place, thank you for this. You gave me the address to your house, would it be ok for me to go there now? I need to take a shower and put away my luggage. 

Priest Byun. 

He didn’t know if it was too formal but better safe than sorry. Not even a minute after he received an answer. 

**From: Mr. Park**

I’m delighted you’re enjoying, Baekhyun. I already sent my driver to pick you up, he will be waiting by the gates for you and will be available to take you back to the hotel anytime you want. 

Baekhyun knew he should text back and say there was no need, that he would call a taxi or an Uber, but he liked the sensation of someone looking out for him. He liked to know someone acted like they cared about things about his day that seemed trivial to everyone else. It killed him a little bit every time Chanyeol reaped a reaction like that out of him. It made him feel undeserving but at the same time it was so vivid, it made him feel tingles on his toes and at the end of his back. 

The driver was already by the gates when Baekhyun arrived. He introduced himself as Mr. Jung and helped Baekhyun with his luggage. The drive was barely 7 minutes long and Baekhyun knew he should be getting used to big and beautiful places by now but if that was Chanyeol’s summer house, he could not imagine where he lived back in Seoul. The house was a 2 stored, made mostly of open space and tinted glass. All he could see from the car was the 2 trees adorning the second floor and it made him realize that he never knew how fond he was of the color green until now. 

Mr. Jung insisted in carrying his luggage until his room and Baekhyun was ready to follow him, knowing he would have time later to marvel at the house. When he made his way to the enormous door at the front of the house, however, he could not follow the driver. Chanyeol was standing at the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. He was barefoot, wearing black slacks and a white tank top. His hair was styled to look disheveled. Baekhyun assumed he hadn’t changed since he arrived from Seoul. The taller seemed a bit dwarfed by the size of door and Baekhyun could only imagined how he himself looked next to the magnitude of the house. Baekhyun ignored the change in his breathing when he saw the man waiting for him. 

“Hello, Byun", he said with a charming smile. 

“Mr. Park. I thought you wouldn’t be here. Since you gave the address, I thought I was allowed to come”, Baekhyun said. 

“You are allowed to come and go as wish, Baekhyun. And yes, I was planning in coming tomorrow, but my plans changed at work. Didn’t like the surprise?”, his smile was more subtle now, but still there. 

“This is your house. Is hardly a surprise that you are here”, the priest said after remembering he should move forward. 

Moving forward meant going towards Chanyeol. Of course the door was large enough for Baekhyun to pass without so much as graze Chanyeol but as he got closer, it seemed like the whole wall was shrinking down on him until all that was left was Chanyeol’s tall figure right in front of him. 

“I asked the maids to run a bath for you”, Chanyeol said while looking him straight in the eyes. “You can come down after you finish and Mr. Jung will take you back to the hotel. Or you can stay", Chanyeol said and Baekhyun was sure that he was looking at his lips now. “If you wish.”

“Thank you”, Baekhyun said while making a beeline to the door, entering the house. “Will the maids show me my room?” He asked as he saw one of them waiting at the stairs.

Chanyeol caught up to him in no time. “Yes. You can let them know if something it’s not to your liking and ill provide to change it.”

“I’m going to be here for barely 2 days, there’s no need to go through all this trouble for me, Chanyeol.” He knew Chanyeol was about to refute so he gently gestures for the maid to lead the way and goes up the stairs. 

His room is as spacious as the rest of the house and it seems pretty much like a guest room. White walls with no real life in it, black sheets on the bed, a big floor to ceiling window wall, and a big bathroom at the other end. Very clinical. Aside from the luxury and space, it reminded Baekhyun a lot of his own house. 

The bath was extraordinary. The water was in the right temperature, the oils making his skin feel really smooth and the candles scattered around the place casting a warm glow on the room and bringing a delicious aroma of lavender. Baekhyun stayed in there until his fingers got wrinkly and the sun started to set on the horizon – that he could see through the window that gave him an amazing view of the ocean. 

After dressing up in more “normal” clothes – Baekhyun was wearing shorts and a short sleeved dress shirt – he went down and found Chanyeol comfortably sitting on the couch, the TV on. He was busy looking at something at his phone but put it aside when saw Baekhyun coming down. 

“Fancy something to eat or are you already going back?”, Chanyeol said while getting up. 

“I have to go, can’t let the students out and about on their own", he said while offering Chanyeol a smile. He decided the best thing to do to face the weekend together was be friendly. The whole tension between them was not allowing them to make any progress in whichever direction. “The bath was really good, thank you for that. And I love the room as well.” 

“Everything in pretty generic in there, you don’t have to actually like none of that. But at least you enjoyed the bath so my first mission is accomplished.”

“How many missions do you have?” Baekhyun asked snorting.

“Oh, I have a few. Second one is to have a meal together.” Chanyeol said while raising his eyebrows. 

“It seems quite challenging.” 

“And it is! You are a busy man, Baekhyun. I had to plan a whole weekend away just to have a little bit of your time.” Chanyeol said while lying back on the sofa. 

It took seconds for Baekhyun to digest what Chanyeol had said. It was something so simple, and heartwarming – that being the safest word Baekhyun found on his vocabulary – to show interest in spending time with him. But it left a bitter taste on Baekhyun’s mouth. 

“You said it was an apology to Sehun.” Baekhyun remembered him.

“That too. I know Sehun loves it here, he could use the distraction. But it was not my first reason, and you know that.” 

“I don’t like you using Sehun to get close to me.”

“You don’t give me much choice, do you?” Chanyeol asked.

“And that’s exactly why! Why would I want to be around someone that is so self centered? Someone so deep in his own self that is not bothered if someone else along the way gets hurt just for them to get what they want?”

“Are we seriously having this conversation again?”, Chanyeol asked and rolled his eyes. 

“Sehun doesn't even know that you’re here with me. Why?” 

“You know why, Baekhyun, for God’s sake!”

“Don’t speak the name of the Lord in vain!” Baekhyun said and stormed out of the room. He heard Chanyeol groaning in frustration and calling his name but he didn't went back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! just so you know, I update this through my phone and my niece broke it 🤦🏾 idk when I'll get a new one so I'm not sure about next week's update. I'll try my best to let you know :) hope you like this chapter (and next one we'll be discovering a bit more of chanyeol so look forward to it!!! xoxo


	9. Chapter 9

The desire has its own mind. 

Sometimes the devil is deaf and dumb. Sometimes the devil nitpick the target of his actions. No man on Earth is free of suffering from his many tricks. He can present himself in many, many ways. Sometimes the devil walks by your side throughout all of your life, whispering ways of making you crumble. But he is deaf and dumb. Deaf to your prayers; dumb to your suffering. The demon is like a snake watching a little bird, waiting for the right moment to tangle itself with his prey. Men are for the devil like the bird is for the snake. An easy prey. And what makes a man more of a fool than desire? The thick, heavy, suffocating desire? The desire that wakes you up at night, that fogs your head through the day, that shakes your bones and shivers your skin? The desire is sinuous, makes his own path despite all odds, knows his way through every street of your body. No desire is justifiable. Desire works in a different direction than reason, they’re not compatible. They’re the different parts of the same battle. A battle every human fights by themselves, every day, alone in their own heads. 

-

Baekhyun walked back to the hotel after turning down Mr. Jung, the driver. He needed the time alone, he needed a rest to the incoming thoughts that were piling up more and more. It was a few minutes past 7 when he arrived, greeting a few nuns. The students were on good behavior, he was briefed; no one had made any type of complaint against them yet. 

He walked around paying attention to his surroundings. Every single one of those people had a little apple hanging above their heads, just waiting for the perfect time to fall in their hands. Everyone was flirting like their lives depended on it, exchanging lustful looks when they thought no one was watching. But God always watches. God never sleeps, He never turns a blind eye. He always sees and hear and judge. Yes, He judges. He’s the fairest judge of them all.

God would never forbid love, no! But that? All of that going around the pool, and benches, and rooms? That He despised! The lust, the jealousy, the rage, the greediness… Good would never embrace that. He embraces the gentle touches, the pure soul, the kind heart. 

But in the end, who’s free of judgment? Not Baekhyun, that he was sure. Not him, who swore to be an instrument of salvation. Not him who promised to be a faithful helper. Not him who’s faith was shaking. Not him who was weak. 

-  
Baekhyun lost track of time after he sat in the grass and kept looking at the mountains. He had never thought of himself as something so small as in that moment. So small and so afraid. Baekhyun never knew there would be a time he would be afraid of himself. 

The priest didn’t flinch when he heard a noise by his side, someone sitting there with him.

“What makes you so distracted today, son?” Mrs. Yoon asked. Baekhyun liked that she dropped formalities when there were just the two of them. 

“I have too many questions that I’m afraid to answer”, he said honestly. 

“Don’t we all?”, she gave a humorlessly laugh. “Do you think here is the right place to be looking for those answers?” 

“I may not be able to ever find them. Or to be strong enough to admit it.” There was silence after that. He knew Mrs. Yoon was thinking of a way to help him, to easy him. “Have you ever questioned your faith, Mrs. Yoon?”

“Is that what’s happening to you?”, she asked patiently. “Son, there are things in life that will put a strain in almost every human being, you’re not free from that. What you may be feeling right now is a way God has to choose in between that sea of people we have around here. It’s your challenge, your probation. You have to find your own way and come out of it stronger than before.”

“What if I fail? What if I don’t meet God’s expectations? What if I disgrace my name?”, Baekhyun said agitated.

“That’s a lot of what ifs, isn’t it?”, she said putting a hand on his shoulder and making him face her. “Baekhyun, you made a choice. And you have been the perfect person for the job up until now, you truly are one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever met. But you’re a man just like the others. You’re not a saint, my boy. You’re passive of mistakes and doubts. And if you fail, you try again. Do you know how many times people fall and get back up? That’s what life is all about! Is a battle we’re fighting constantly, all of us. Just because you’re a priest doesn’t mean the world around you will make it easier for you! Do you know Saint Agustin, don’t you?”, he nodded. “He spent half of his life living a mundane life, no saint has sinned more than he had! And yet, God chose him. But you? You don’t have to try so hard, son. You don’t have to pretend to be a saint when you’re not. God sees it all and He is watching you. He will stand by your side, and will guide you. And whatever happens in your life, it will be with His blessing”.

Baekhyun let go of the breath he didn’t knew he was holding and rested his head on Mrs. Yoon shoulder. They watched the stars for a long time together. 

-

All of the KCS students were on their rooms by 10pm. They would have a busy day ahead of them, visiting a few popular places around the island for the weekend. Most students were tired from the trip so they had no complaint against bedtime. Baekhyun and the nuns agreed to wake them up at 9pm and spent at least another hour discussing destinations and a timetable. They decided on Hallim Park for the first day and after that everyone went to have a well deserved rest. 

Baekhyun was exiting the hotel when a car got close to him. Chanyeol rolled the windows down before addressing him. 

“Come in”, he said. Even if his tone wasn’t authoritative, Baekhyun still felt compelled to be wary. 

“You know it’s not a long way back and I enjoy the breeze, but thank you.”

“Then you can leave the windows down”, he said while rolling his eyes. “It’s late, don’t go roaming around by yourself.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath but was too tired to argue back. He climbed up the car and they spent the whole way back in silence. A heavy silence, weighing them down with all the things they had on the tip of their tongues to say to each other. What exactly they weren’t sure. Once they were inside the house, Baekhyun felt like he could be sleeping on his feet with how tired he was. 

“Thank you for the ride and for allowing me in your house, Mr. Park. I’ll go to bed now, have a good night”. 

“Good night, Baekhyun.” 

-

The morning came faster than Baekhyun would have liked.   
He woke up with a delicious smell of coffee he didn’t felt in a while. His morning coffees were always made in a rush when he was late and wouldn’t have the time to buy one on his way to the school. KCS cafeteria had an amazing chef and the coffee was great too. But the smell of coffee at Chanyeol’s house smelt weirdly like coming home. 

After getting dressed - with “normal” clothes, he didn’t want his students hiding away at the zoo because of him and also the sun was a bit on the hotter side today – Baekhyun got down and followed the smell to the dinning room. The table was full of food, a little bit more than two people would need, but the sight was pleasing. Fruits, breads, cake, juice. It looked like one of those breakfasts you see on TV, when a happy family is gathered around to start a productive day. The room was empty, though. He took the liberty to sit down and start by himself, since he wasn’t familiar with Chanyeol’s sleeping habits and it was quite early. 

He was enjoying a really delicious piece of cake when the owner of the house appeared. Shirtless and with bed hair. 

“Good morning”, he said with a rispy voice while sitting down opposite to Baekhyun. 

“Good morning, Mr. Park”, Baekhyun knew it was rude to not look at him the eye while speaking but he didn’t want his mind working faster than he could reason. Just a look was still a look and he wouldn’t start his day thinking about someone else’s body. He hoped Chanyeol would blame it on their disagreement yesterday – not on Baekhyun trying not to ogle his naked body.

“Did you sleep well?”, the older asked while stealing a strawberry from the bowl in the middle of table. Baekhyun followed the movement until the fruit touched Chanyeol’s lips. “You seemed tired when we arrived and still early, you should use the rest”.

Baekhyun took his time to answer while munching on his food ignoring the churning on his stomach – he would not allow himself to call it butterflies – after Chanyeol comment. “We’ll be taking the boys to Hallim today. I still have a few things to plan so…” Baekhyun said. 

They spent a minute in silence while eating. Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol staring a hole at him but he refused to look at him. He wasn’t ready to look at his demon’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry about yesterday.” Chanyeol said at least. “I swear to watch my mouth from now on.”

“You should not swear. It’s not an act of God. Have you ever heard that who swear is lying? You should not put your trust or your true in an affiance. Just give your word, is more valuable.” Baekhyun told him. It should not matter for Chanyeol since he wasn’t a devote, but it was in Baekhyun’s nature to try and teach.

“Well, then I give you my word. And I'm sorry if I was disrespectful again now”, Baekhyun could hear the cheap smile on his voice and felt a smile of his own starting to bloom on his face. A tiny one, almost imperceptible, but still a smile. 

“Since when do you care about being disrespectful towards me, Mr. Park?” Baekhyun said after putting on a more impassive face and finally looking at Chanyeol.

“I don’t want every one of our conversations to end in a fight because I’m saying the wrong things, Baekhyun. I know you’re upset about yesterday, but I’m not going to say I’m sorry. I did everything in my power to be here with you, yes. Including using Sehun as an alternative and I’m not ashamed of it. I know it doesn’t sit well with you, but I don’t see a problem here. We got here in the end and everyone’s happy, I suppose.”

“Sehun would be happier if he was here with you, no?”

“Probably. But Sehun needs time, we both need. I should make him distance himself enough to be able to have alternatives, to have where to choose from besides me. He could have anyone.” Chanyeol said with a fond smile. “But as you said so yourself, Sehun is the closest I can be from you. I need him so you can be here. Am I a selfish asshole because of it? Probably, but I don’t care.” He finished and popped another strawberry on his mouth. 

“Don’t you think is time to drop it? I mean, I told you I don’t have any problems with being your friend, it could be good for the both of us. But none of this is friendly for you, is it?”

“I told you this could be whatever you want it to be.”

“No, it can’t. I didn’t want to be played to get here and you still did it. Even if you’ve invited me as a friend and I refused, I would’ve still ended up here because you played another card behind my back. It doesn’t seems like what I want actually matter to you.”

“You don’t want to be my friend, Baekhyun. If you could, you would send me the farthest away from you as possible. And we both know is not because of Sehun”. 

Baekhyun was speechless for a while. Trying to organize his thoughts and wording a phrase that would not make him sound pathetic was harder than he thought when Chanyeol was so serious is front of him, waiting for something he could not give. 

“You’re still not getting anything out of this, Mr. Park.” Still sounded pathetic. And weak.

“It seems like you’re telling this more to yourself than to me at this point”, Chanyeol said with a smile. “I have no idea what goes through your head but your body don’t lie, Baekhyun. It’s beautiful the way you react to me, you know? Your blushes, the way you refuse to meet my eyes. The way you don’t allow yourself to say my name”, the smile was gone from his voice now, and his body was projected forward on the table, inching towards Baekhyun. “I confuse you. I make you question everything you thought was defined. You’re scared of what I represent to you. But you’re still here, aren’t you? Played or not, you still chose to be here with me.” Chanyeol’s voice was softer now, almost a whisper. “Why is that, Baekhyun?” Baekhyun’s eyes were closed now, his head hanging down, just listening to the vibrations of Chanyeol’s voice, the ghost of his breath on his face. “Why are you here?”, he asked at least, his hands creeping up Baekhyun’s at the end of the table and touching his white knuckles – he hadn’t realize his grip on the table until he felt Chanyeol’s cold fingers on his. 

Baekhyun bolted out of the table in a speed he didn’t knew he had. Every little dot on his vision while going up the stairs were like an immense red sign screaming shame, in capital and bold letters. It was already hard living on his own head while trying to decipher his actions on his own, what could he do now that it was obvious to people around? What could want a priest blushing around a shirtless man? Could he even call himself a priest now? Could he be better than all of those before him who crumbled and set a bad example? 

Who was he?

-

Baekhyun was distracted throughout the whole morning, the nuns having to catch his attention countless times during the day. He left Chanyeol’s house not long after he got up the table but the other was not around to see him out and Baekhyun was glad. He didn’t know what to do with his newfound doubts – just a few more to add to the already have load he carried – so he appreciated the distance from the source itself. 

After what felt like forever at Hallim Park, visiting the zoo, walking around aimlessly, trying to convince the boys that the amusement park was designed for kids, they were finally on their way back to the hotel, around 8pm of an exhausting day. The drive was quiet, the boys too hungry to be messing around.

The meal waiting for them at the hotel was devoured in a matter of minutes by the students and after fooling around with each other they started to go on their merry way to bed. The nuns were already dividing and seeing them out when Mrs. Yoon once again approached Baekhyun. 

“Go home, son. Whatever it is, try to sleep it off. Tomorrow is a different day”, she said while rubbing his back while he had his head supported on the table. 

Home. Baekhyun was dreading going back there and seeing Chanyeol. He was afraid of blushing again, or not meet his eyes. He didn’t know what to call him. Mr. Park sounded like a mock to him now. 

Baekhyun dragged his feet to outside the hotel and found Mr. Jung outside the car waiting for him. While opening the door for him, the driver sent Baekhyun a smile that was so sweet that Baekhyun felt like crying. Mr. Jung seemed to be already past his 50s, and was probably honored to be driving a priest on his car. Baekhyun could tell by the way the man bowed and looked at him with so much respect. Respect he wasn’t sure he deserved.

While his inner turmoil ate him alive, they arrived at Chanyeol’s. Baekhyun was taking his time, his steps slow. He didn’t want to have to face Chanyeol and see a smug smile on his face, see him measuring him, looking for signals he gave involuntary. The living room was empty just like the dinning area so he quickly made his way upstairs, shutting the door to his bedroom. There were 3 other doors on the hall but wasn’t sure with one is Chanyeol’s.

After taking a long shower and getting out when his fingers got wrinkled, Baekhyun realized he was starving; The last thing he ate was a hot god on the park. He tried to listen to the sound of movements, footsteps, anything that could point where Chanyeol was but all he heard was silence. It was late, already past 10, so he wasn’t sure if there was someone in the kitchen. But with the grumbling of his stomach there wasn’t much he could do other than pray that God would have blessed Chanyeol with sleep already. 

Chanyeol’s kitchen, just like the rest of the house, seemed out of a home design magazine. Everything was spotless and nothing seemed out of place, what made difficult for Baekhyun to just navigate around without making much noise. The double doors of the fridge opened like the gates of Heaven and Baekhyun wondered if it was always full like that. He hadn’t seen much staff around, just Mr. Jung and the lady who showed his room yesterday, but he prayed all that food wasn’t likely to go to waste. 

He found a few containers with leftovers and waited for it to heat up in the microwave. He took off before it started to beep to not disturb the deafening silence. He looked for chopsticks on the counter but couldn’t find any, so he started to room around the cabinets to find something to eat with. 

He opened and closed drawers as carefully as possible but it seemed like the odds were against him, again. 

“Looking for something specific?”, Chanyeol said in the dead of the night, making Baekhyun jump out of his skin and make an undignified sound. 

“You don’t creep on people like this, for God’s sake, Mr. Park!”, he said while trying to calm his rapid heart. 

“I’m sorry”, he said sheepishly. “What are you looking for, anyways?” 

Chanyeol was standing on the door, and the moonlight coming from the glass door in front of him wss casting a light on his form that only allowed Baekhyun to see pieces of him, bits of his skin and the shadow of his dark hair. He was shirtless again and his body was casted on shadows, his arms crossed in front of him, just like his legs while he reclined at the door jamb. 

With only the moonlight shining down on him, Baekhyun allowed himself to look. And look, and keep looking. None of them said nothing for a while and at that moment, Chanyeol looked Divine, with a capital D. If angels were to walk among us, Baekhyun was sure they would look exactly like that. 

“I was looking for chopsticks”, Baekhyun said after who knows how long. 

He felt more than saw Chanyeol coming towards him. The taller stood behind him and Baekhyun could not think fast enough to put distance between them. Chanyeol opened a cabinet in front of Baekhyun, taking a step closer for leverage. If one of them as much as breathed their bodies would touch and Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he was despising or anticipating the idea. Chanyeol took a pair of chopsticks from the cabinet with one hand while the other was still holding the cabinet door. Baekhyun felt like he was caged in between Chanyeol’s arms, and his warmth and the smell of him. He could feel the moment Chanyeol’s nose found his hair, could feel the soft touch of it on his head. 

It would be so easy to just let go, to give a step back and be held by him, to feel his skin and drown on his body. Baekhyun could almost touch it, the point where all of it would stop tormenting him and just be free of those thoughts, just act on what he desperately avoided now. But Mrs. Yoon was right, Baekhyun tried to remind himself. It was a probation, a battle he should fight tooth and nail to come out as a winner. Giving up would do him no good, he should not let his demons overtake him. Even with his doubts, he knew God was by side and Baekhyun was not about to let Him down. 

Cleaning his throat, Baekhyun demanded Chanyeol’s attention. He could feel the softest kiss, almost a brush of lips against his head, almost on his temple, before Chanyeol handed him the chopsticks. “Here you go.” He said while backing off. “Are you sure these are good?” Chanyeol said while looking at the food. “We could order something for you, if you want.”

Baekhyun hated him to be able to act so nonchalant about everything while Baekhyun himself was rethink all of his life choices up until this point, literally. 

“Yes, they seem fresh, there’s no need to waste it.” Baekhyun said while climbing on the counter to start eating. “How many people work here? There’s a lot of food on the fridge”, he said while taking a bit of his kimchi. 

“Around 6, I think. Mr. Jung is my personal driver so he’s just here when I’m around. But they tend to go overboard when I tell them I’ll be coming here. Probably because I used to bring a few friends that eat like cows” he chuckled to himself. 

Baekhyun realized at the mention of Chanyeol’s friends that he knew nothing about the man. “You don’t bring them anymore?”

“Oh, no. That was way back in college, I don’t think we have the time to be fooling around like that anymore.”

“All of them are business men, like you?”  
“A few. Others are just Rich Richie’s that go around messing up what their family fought to create”, he scoffed.

“And you’re not?”, Baekhyun asked without malice. “You’re not just a rich guy running your Dad’s company?” 

“You could say that. But different from them, I had to work my ass off to get there. There was a time in my life I couldn’t even manage myself let alone a whole company”, he said bitter.

“Looking at you today, you don’t seem the kind of person who had struggled at life”, Baekhyun said earnest. No one could tell that there was a moment in that man’s life that had been difficult when you see him in the cover of a magazine. 

“There were a lot of downs before there was an up, Baekhyun.” He said, somber. “But it’s not something we should be talking about now. You should go to sleep, you have a tiring day ahead. I heard the kids are planning an impromptu trip to the beach”. Chanyeol said while getting up from the stool he had sat earlier. He was making his way back to the living room and was almost at the stairs when it finally downed on Baekhyun.

“I never agreed to take them to the beach!”

He heard Chanyeol’s laugh and his distant good night. Baekhyun went to bed not long after and dreamt with shirtless, dark haired angels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! this week's update came faster than I imagined so here you have it! I actually already got a new phone so thanks mom for the Christmas present 🎁! I hope you guys like it, and look forward to Chanyeol's background next chapter. Thank you all for the support, your comments means a lot to me 💜


	10. Chapter 10

Baekhyun was not a fan of the beach.

When he arrived at the resort that Sunday morning for their last day on Jeju, he saw a few nuns with a sour face and some trying to hide their smirks. When his eyes landed on a few students down the hall he understood why. They were all dressed in swim trunks and hats, a few with sunscreen on their noses and all. It could be that they were going to the poll alright, but the bags on their hands and the look of determination on their faces told a different story. Kun, the Senior Class President approached Baekhyun with his game face on.

“Good morning, Mr. Byun", he said.

“Good morning, son”, he said trying to surpass a smile. “Going somewhere?”

“We planned on going to the beach, actually”, he said trying to sound casual.

“Ah, ok. Am I invited?” Baekhyun asked, sassy.

“Mr. Byun, don’t you think we are old enough to take care of ourselves?” Kun asked and Baekhyun answered him with a yes, before he proceeded. “Well, so I think we can go to the beach without supervision, right?”

“Dear, as much as I think that yes, you’re all capable young adults, you’re still here under our supervision; the school’s responsible for all of you. What would I explain to your parents if, God forbids, someone drowns or gets kidnapped, or breaks a leg while playing on the water? I can’t let 200 of you fooling around on your own, Kun”

“Not all of us are going, I think. Probably around 80”, he tried to argue.

“Even so… I’m not saying no to your ultimatum, we can go. We’ll see who’s going and who’s staying and divide ourselves, no problem. But you won’t go on your own”.

If that conversation had happened yesterday they wouldn’t be going. But Baekhyun was warned about that little rebellion – with their one man army – since last night, so he had a good night’s sleep to think it through. If he could, they would be in their merry way on their own to whichever beach they chose to go but, unfortunately, that was out of plans.

The day was screaming for a trip to the beach, though. The weather was warm enough so the water wouldn’t be freezing for those who had the guts to go in but not so much to stick your clothes to your body. But nevertheless, Baekhyun was not a fan of the beach. He hated the sand and the smell of the sea made him nauseous. The way people always seemed unnaturally happy when the cold water slapped their backs never deceived him. People seemed to find an inner peace that disappeared way too quickly just by being in contact with that part of Mother Nature.

86 of them wanted to go, so most of them still chose to go their planned location, the Seogwipo Submarine. Baekhyun would much rather be there, of course. But since the students were going to an open space he felt obligated to be there, even if the nuns insisted that they could handle. At the end, he watched as everyone packed their towels and flip flops and headed to an exhausting day of sand inside his clothes and sea breeze frizzing up his hair.

But even with all the hate bottling up inside him with every minute he spent sat there in the sand, it was heart warming seeing the boys having fun. He was particularly happy when he saw that Sehun was there among them, laughing and definitely having a good time. It didn’t look like the troubled Sehun that always seemed to find Baekhyun, no. He was a teenager having fun with his friends. Baekhyun wouldn’t admit but maybe the trip was not as a wicked plan as he thought.

While sipping on an orange juice one of the nuns gave him, Baekhyun found his mind drifting back to last night, while he and Chanyeol managed to be civil towards each other for a few minutes and actually have a conversation. A conversation that gave Baekhyun a few things to think about – other than Chanyeol’s body looking beautiful under the moonlight. At one point of their talk, Chanyeol seemed vague about his past, sad even if Baekhyun read too much into it. In between Chanyeol’s and Sehun’s thoughts, it was almost 6pm and they needed to go back to the hotel. Baekhyun saw a lot of the students with a big smile on their faces like the day was everything they needed and he was happy for them, even if he could not wait to get home and scrub all the sand away from his body.

-

When everyone finally arrived back, they all gathered together to enjoy their last dinner on the island. It was just them on the big dinning hall so Baekhyun gave them a little speech about how much fun they had and how they should thank God for their trip and their health. He also checked with everyone about their baggage and personal belongings so nothing would be left behind when they left the following morning. Everyone went to bad around 9pm and Baekhyun could see the exhaustion on them after such an agitated day.

Just like the previous night, a black car was waiting for him at the hotel gates. Baekhyun knew it wasn’t Mr. Jung driving since he didn’t step out to open the door for him, so he entered the passenger seat. Chanyeol was wearing a white t-shirt and sweat pants, and it seemed liike he had got out of the house just to pick Baekhyun up – the thought wasn’t unpleasant.

“Good night, Mr. Park”, Baekhyun greeted.

“Hi, Baekhyun. How was your day?”, he said while starting the car.

"Well, thanks to your heads up last night I was able to mentally prepare myself for a day at the beach with the boys. Did you wait long out here?”

“Oh no, Sehun texted me saying he was going to bed so I imagined you should be on your way home as well”, he said and the little monster inside Baekhyun made itself present again.

“Oh, I see.” The rest of the way was spent in an uncomfortable silence.

As soon as the car parked Baekhyun got out. He was excited to tell Chanyeol about Sehun’s day, how he seemed excited and having fun and all the stuff he saw at the beach. But he realized the older man probably already knew. Baekhyun seemed to forget for a moment that Chanyeol was Sehun’s boyfriend.

While taking his shoes at the entrance Baekhyun sighed at how much sand fell off of it, he could feel them on his feet and his legs and it annoyed him.

“You smell like sea”, Chanyeol said while passing by him. Baekhyun didn’t answer and went straight to his room and took the longest shower his body could take. He scrubbed every part of his body twice just to make sure the “smell of sea” didn’t stuck.

-

It was like an inner force was acting on him, taking him out of his room even though he was tired enough to fall asleep in the blink of an eye. Baekhyun was not hungry nor he needed anything from the kitchen but his feet ended up taking him there. He knew at the back of his head he was hoping to see Chanyeol there again. But he wasn’t there. All the lights were out and the silence was upsetting. The living room was also empty and dark. Baekhyun roamed around there, looking at a few pictures he could see thanks to the lights being on at the veranda.

Chanyeol was in most of the pictures, looking a few years younger. He had the same aura, the same boyish smile but he looked entirely different. The first picture Baekhyun saw he was with a group of people, all boys smiling at the camera. There were 4 of them, all equally tall as Chanyeol. In another picture he was with a woman, older. They looked too much alike for her not to be his mother. The only picture Chanyeol wasn’t featured in was the last one on the shelf. There was just a woman, a very beautiful woman with reddish hair, a fair skin and big eyes. She was smiling a sweet smile, looking at the camera like it held her own world in those lens. She seemed so alive but at the same time, Baekhyun's heart felt like she was so distant. He hesitantly reached his hand up to touch the picture frame but retrieved back, feeling invasive.

“Beautiful, isn’t she?”

He should be surprised, should jump or scream. But the smell of Chanyeol, the way Baekhyun could feel when he stepped into the room only served to calm him down. He felt Chanyeol approaching, felt when he stopped behind him, just like last night. He felt the warmth of him, felt the way he was close but not close enough. Baekhyun breathed him in and felt his own warmth increasing up, his own fires lighting up everywhere. Chanyeol smelled powerfully like everything he was fighting to hate.

“Who is she?”, Baekhyun asked in a whisper.

Chanyeol took his time answering, so much so that Baekhyun thought he wouldn’t answer at all. But he felt Chanyeol moving, felt when the taller man’s hand touched his body, the first time it ever did. Baekhyun could feel every inch of his palm on his waist, he could feel every one of his fingers like they were being carved into his skin. Even though his shirt was separating their skin, it felt like it didn’t existed enough space that could keep the heat of Chanyeol’s hand away from Baekhyun’s skin.

Baekhyun felt the shivers running down his body, his legs loosing a bit of their strength as he took a deep breath when he remembered how to. It was something so mundane, that touch. So innocent for so many people, but it ignited a gazillion more questions on Baekhyun’s head. How much warm would it feel without clothes in between their skins? Would Chanyeol’s hand be rough or smooth? Those times when Chanyeol used to steal touches of his hands seemed like a lifetime ago.

“She used to be my fiancé”, Chanyeol said and took a step closer.

Their bodies were touching now, the slightest graze in between them. Chanyeol’s hands were both on his skin now, sliding down his naked arms until they found his hands and intertwined both their fingers. They stood like this for a while, hands clasped together and every inch of Baekhyun screaming for something he was too afraid to name.

Chanyeol was tall. Tall enough to need to bend down a little to be able to hold Baekhyun’s hands in his. Baekhyun could feel his forehead resting at the crown of his head, and the words were out of him before he could stop myself.

“Do I still smell like the sea?” He asked in a secretive whisper.

He could feel more than hear Chanyeol chuckling, his body moving a tiny bit behind him.

“That wasn’t a bad thing, you know? I like the smell of the sea”, he said. The “I hate it” Baekhyun let out was so small that if they weren’t so close together Chanyeol wouldn’t hear. But they were close. Closer as they weren’t allowed to be. “Well, you’re not smelling like the sea anymore”, Chanyeol kept whispering. Baekhyun anticipated every tiny blow of air in his hair like it was Christmas day.

It was like everything started to move in slow motion when Chanyeol’s arms slowly, oh so slowly crossed around Baekhyun’s middle, hugging him against his own without ever letting go of his hand. Baekhyun felt all the little fight he was trying to muster dissipate when Chanyeol started to nose the back of his ear, inching towards his neck, all the while hugging him closer. Chanyeol was breathing him in, was letting him lay his head on his shoulder, allowing Baekhyun to give him all the space he needed to memorize every piece of his skin.

"If I should put into words like you smell to me, it would be something like vanilla and moonlight”, Chanyeol whispered in his ear before giving the softest kiss behind it. “But you also smell like fear. Not the bad kind of fear, though. You smell like confusion. You smell like want. Desire. You smell like passion. You smell like sadness.” He punctuated every word with a kiss on Baekhyun’s skin, behind his ear, on his neck, going as far as his jawline. “But you know how I want you to smell like?” He asked while Baekhyun could do nothing but hang onto his every word, lost in a moment he swore to himself he would never have. “I want you to smell like me”, Chanyeol said as Baekhyun’s whole body lay heavy on him, his legs failing him and Chanyeol supporting him up in the tightest embrace he could. “I want you to smell like every part of my body. I want to smell like your Heaven and I want you to smell like my Hell.”

Every one of Chanyeol’s words were hitting Baekhyun in places he could not name. It was like he had awaken a part of his soul that was long gone, sleeping soundly. But it had rise up craving for attention. Every inch of their skin that was touching was lighting up, leaving traces of fire all around. Baekhyun’s knees were wobbling, his body slumping against Chanyeol's while the taller peppered his skin with light, almost innocent kisses. Kisses that did nothing but leave Baekhyun wanting more. More kisses, all around. More sweet words, more late night confessions. More of Chanyeol’s skin on his skin. More of their bodies aligned. Baekhyun wasn’t sure why he was letting all of it happen, probably because he stopped to let reason have the reign of his emotions and desire took control of him. But at the same time, he felt like an outsider inside Chanyeol’s arms, like he was watching from afar as it all happened.

But it was happening, Chanyeol’s kisses were becoming bolder, his teeth grazing Baekhyun’s earlobe, the back of his neck. Baekhyun could feel his breathing become heavier, his body tingling down south, his voice coming out shallow in a involuntary moan when he felt Chanyeol’s hand let go os his to hold his waist again, this time to pressure the lower part of their bodies together. Baekhyun’s right hand found the back of Chanyeol’s head and gripped his hair for support while his right held Chanyeol’s arm. It felt like his world turned upside down when Chanyeol slowly lifted the side of his shirt, to feel up his bare skin. The hand on his waist was soft, but with calloused fingers. The moment the rough skin gripped his and Chanyeol’s nail scratched the curve of his body, Baekhyun knew he would give the world to keep feeling the way he was feeling now.

Every man is made of clay. Human beings were born in sin, born from that disease; is encrypted in our genetics. And for that, because sin is a reality, every man could be tempted, since we all born sinners. Lies, betrayal, adultery… that is all in our nature, we're born with the ability of committing those, we live in a society that teach us every form of get away with them, get away with the things that contaminates us. However, there are temptations that are bigger than the ones we face daily; those that are born with us. There are temptations that are impose by the devil and his agents, moments they find in us that crack to use circumstances, people, occasions, and our own weakness to push us, verbally or not, to get away from God and his teachings. Sometimes the devil likes to remind us that were made of clay and make the clay manifest itself. But God would never give people a temptation bigger than the one could handle. He would never give a problem without a solution, even if you should fight for it.

Chanyeol was Baekhyun’s devil. He’s that one voice whispering in his ear and distancing him from God. He is the temptation God gave him. And he is tempted, so tempted. But God know his limits better than everyone else. God knew until where Baekhyun could go without break. So God shone His light on Baekhyun, He gave the way out from that moment where Baekhyun was falling to a point of no return.

The sound was faint at first, just a buzz somewhere in the room. The light was what took Baekhyun out of the intoxicated bubble he was on, inebriated by Chanyeol’s touch. A cellphone was buzzing on the couch, insistently so. As the light from it illuminated the room it was like Baekhyun had woken up from his stupor. He quickly disentangled himself from Chanyeol and took a deep breath.

He never turned back as he felt Chanyeol moving away to pick up his phone. He heard as the taller answered it and his voice grew faint, while he put a much needed distance in between them. Baekhyun got up to his room and spent the next hours praying to a God that loves him more than any man could ever do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry Christmas, everyone 🎅🏾!! we having a much needed interaction on this chapter, right??? but things are not going to be easier for them for a while :(( did you noticed the hint for Chanyeol's backstory right? I'm really excited for what comes next! 
> 
> I want to thank every single one of you for your comments, i see all of them and it makes my day! the way y'all invested in the story makes it much more fun to write it! thank you for sticking around and enjoying it so far 💜🥰


	11. Chapter 11

It wasn’t uncommon for Baekhyun to have insomnia. 

Especially after last night events, his brain was running 200 miles per hour. He wasn’t able to close his eyes and not think about Chanyeol’s kisses or his hands on him. Baekhyun knew a sleepless night was the least he should suffer while apologizing to God and himself for his mistakes. 

Baekhyun tossed and turned on his bed the whole night after more than 3 hours praying. After his knees were sore and his fingers red from the rosary. He knew his apologies were in vain though since his mind kept betraying him, kept replaying those damned moments again and again. He felt like a fool for trying so hard just to fail so fast.

But life is a bump road of probations, Baekhyun knew that much. He knew that whatever happened to him, happened for a reason. It happened now so it would never happen again. So as the sun rose up on the horizon and he finally got out of the bed, Baekhyun was content. His heart was placed and his mind a bit at easier than before. His journey on this road had just began and he wasn’t someone special, of course things couldn’t be easier for him. 

-

After almost three whole days of a cool, sunny weather, the sun was shy behind the clouds as they were leaving. Baekhyun made a roll call one last time as he inspections the buses and off they went. It was early, a little after 10am when they arrived at the airport and took off to Seoul. Most of the students and staff slept the better part of the trip home but Baekhyun once again couldn’t get a shut eye. He was glad classes only resumed on Wednesday because he was in no shape to run a school at the moment. 

They finally arrived at Seoul after hours of traveling and the school’s entrance was very busy, a lot of cars parked to pick up the students. It took another two hours so everyone could leave and Baekhyun finally manage to go home. 

His day had already been exhausting and it was half past 2pm when he left his bathroom and fell on his bed. He tried to clear his mind, taking deep breaths and even resorting to count sheep when he finally fell asleep. 

-

Baekhyun woke up with the sound of his cellphone going off on the bedside table. He groaned as he moved on his bed, trying to find it by touch. He didn’t look to see who was calling before picking up. 

"Yes?" Baekhyun managed with a rispy voice. 

“Oh, so you’re alive!” Said the voice on the other side. “You were supposed to call me once you arrived but it’s almost 8pm and I haven’t heard from you, Baekhyun.”

“I’m sorry, Soo. I fell asleep as soon as I got home”, Baekhyun said while stretching. 

“Did I wake you up?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Yes, but it’s okay. I should be up by now”.

“Are you free tonight?”, Kyungsoo asked. 

“Yes, why?” 

“Well, we haven’t seen each other in quite a while, and I miss my best friend”, Baekhyun could feel on his voice that there’s was something more. “And, you remember that negotiation with the hotel conglomerate?”, He continued after Baekhyun answered with a yes. “I managed to get the deal! So we going to throw a little party at the hotel at 10pm to celebrate it. It’s nothing big, just a few associates and stuff, and I want you to be there with me.” 

The thing with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo is that they don’t see each other often. So they would jump at every chance they got to spend a little time together catching up. Kyungsoo was the only person that Baekhyun could be completely honest and speak his mind. He was never afraid of his friends reactions nor his honest opinions. Kyungsoo was completely respectful towards Baekhyun's life choices but he always said he could not see Baekhyun being a priest for the rest of his life. He always thought his friend was way too deep to swim in the shallow. 

“Of course I’ll be there. Just tell me the time and the place”. 

And that’s how Baekhyun found himself later 5hat night going to the famous KJ7 Premier, one of the most important and we’ll known hotels in Seoul. Baekhyun had never stood foot in there and probably would never if not for his best friend. Baekhyun was excited to see Kyungsoo again, to congratulate him for the amazing achievement. 

The party itself wasn’t big, Baekhyun saw. It was more like a meeting, a few men wearing suits and drinking champagne together. He entered the hall – a big one, with a few tables scattered around and those huge crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. It wasn’t difficult to spot Kyungsoo; He was wearing a black suit, hair shaved just like the last time they saw each other and was having a seemingly good conversation with a few people a few feet ahead of Baekhyun. 

Kyungsoo wasn’t the type to draw people in, he was shy and a bit on the rude side to most people, but at the moment, he was glowing. He was floating on that conversation like he belonged there, all eyes on him. One person in particular caught Baekhyun’s attention as he approached his friend. A tall, bronzed man was standing close to Kyungsoo, probably too close for comfort if Baekhyun really knew his friend, but it didn’t seen to bother Kyungsoo. The man looked at him like everything he was saying was a miracle, a smile on his face that did nothing to deny that Kyungsoo could have asked for the moon and he would find a way to hand it to him. 

Baekhyun touched the small of Kyungsoo’s back to caught his attention and his friend turned around, his doe eyes going big when they landed on Baekhyun and both of them went in for a hug. It had been too long and the warmth of Kyungsoo was too comforting. 

“I’m so proud of you, Soo!” Baekhyun whispered as they parted the hug. Kyungsoo gave him a blinding smile and held him by the arm. 

“Everyone, this is my best friend, Byun Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun didn’t miss the way everyone looked at him, drinking in the priest picture. They all bowed, trying to show a sense of respect for his figure or something. He heard a few God Blesses and smiled back at those. One person in particular didn’t bow nor said anything at him, though. The bronzed man was looking at him with a surprised face, that made Baekhyun frown. Looking closer, the man did looked familiar, Baekhyun just wasn’t sure where they have met before. The chance to find out came when Kyungsoo turned around to introduce them. 

“Baekhyun, this is Kim Jongin. He’s the one I’ve been doing business with.” Baekhyun stretched his hand and the man shook it without hesitation. 

“Wow, what a coincidence! I’ve heard so much about you the last year that it seems like we’re already friends. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Byun”, Jongin said with a charming smile. 

Baekhyun nodded and smiled as Kyungsoo whisked him away to introduce him to a bunch of other people. They shared a few glasses of champagne and Baekhyun could feel the energy emanating from Kyungsoo. He wanted that so much and he worked so hard that seeing him so proud of himself made Baekhyun’s heart burst. 

They spent probably two more hours going back and forth Kyungsoo’s guests until they finally escaped. Jongin said he could handle the rest of the guests and Kyungsoo should enjoy his time with Baekhyun. Baekhyun decided not to comment on how flushed his friend was after the interaction. 

They drove until the nearest McDonald’s and Kyungsoo told him about the deal with Kim Jongin. They had met 6 months ago when the taller had been to Le Mond, Kyungsoo’s restaurant. After his meal he asked to talk with the chef and introduced the proposal to Kyungsoo about expanding the business and open several branches of the restaurant at his hotel chain. Kyungsoo was wary at first but Jongin was persistent and after he was convinced that it was not a scam, they started to work on it. Baekhyun was aware of every smile Kyungsoo tried to hide every time he mentioned Jongin. 

“You seem to have grown close to Mr. Kim”, Baekhyun said while munching on his fry.

“Well, he messaged me for a month straight when I turned him down the first time. He can be very persuasive.”

“So, are you friends now? Or it strictly business?”

Kyungsoo took his time before answering. He slowly ate three more fries and drank half of his soda before sighing.

“What is it that you really want to know?”

“Whatever you feel comfortable on telling me.”

“Well, Jongin is an amazing man. I did had my opinions about him at the beginning and I still don’t know him that well, but we have seen each other. Outside of work”, Kyungsoo looked nervous and it confused Baekhyun.

“And why were you hesitant about telling me?”

“Well, I may not care about it but you’re still a priest. I won’t go around telling you about my homosexual affair.”

“You know I don’t care about it, right? Especially if is you! I want you to be happy, Soo”.

“I know, I know. But it’s important to me, you know? I like him. Like, I really like him.”

“I’m glad for you, then. He is handsome”.

“I’m so glad you’re a priest but still have eyes, Byun.”

They laughed a lot more and shared a few more stories then Kyungsoo drove Baekhyun home. Jongin called on their way there, saying he had gone home with a friend after wrapping up the reception. Kyungsoo smiled just at the sound of his voice. 

As soon as Baekhyun entered his apartment he went straight to have a shower, the smell of alcohol, cigarette and french fries were a bit disgusting. While he let the water run down, he felt like every drop was just adding up to the heavy weigh on his shoulders. Seeing Kyungsoo always put him in good mood, but tonight it only let him bitter. And he hated that. He wanted to be more than happy for him, he wanted to be elated! He wanted to smile and congratulate him for finding someone without sounding shallow and wrong. He wanted to appreciate it without feeling guilty. He hadn’t seem Chanyeol since last night, haven’t heard of him since he got home. Not that he was expecting it, but he kept waiting for it to happen at the back of his mind. He thought that being with Kyungsoo would take his mind off of it, but on the contrary, it just made him more anxious. 

-

Baekhyun got out of the shower and went to bed. He was almost asleep when his phone lit up with a notification. 

**From: Mr. Park**

Didn’t know you were a fan of french fries. Where does all the fat goes? Definitely not on you, I can assure that. 

Baekhyun did nothing but roll his eyes are first. He ignored the sensation at the pit of his stomach when he saw Chanyeol’s name on the screen, he ignored the way he could feel his heart skipping a bit and his mouth going dry. 

**To: Mr. Park**

I really should do something about your stalking tendencies. It’s creepy. 

Not even two minutes after he sent the message, his phone lit up again. But this time it wasn’t a text, Chanyeol was calling him. Baekhyun could ignore it, could straight up refuse the call and go to sleep. But he convinced himself he swiped the green button because he deserves and explanation. 

“I wasn’t stalking you”, Chanyeol said after Baekhyun answered. None of them said hello, they weren’t friends. 

“How do you know what I was eating tonight, then? Did you put a tracker on my clothes? Or maybe you installed a camera on my forehead while I was asleep?” Baekhyun scoffed. “You are a tech genius, after all.”

“Flatter won’t take you anywhere, Baekhyun”, he said and cut Baekhyun off when he tried to protest. “I could do that, of course. But believe it or not, it was just a coincidence.”

“Coming from you is highly unlikely”, he said while rolling his eyes and getting more comfortable on the bed. 

“Don’t be too full of yourself, Mr. Byun”, Chanyeol said and it sounded almost scornful. 

Baekhyun felt something within him diminishing. It was weird at first and it rendered him speechless for a while. Chanyeol was mocking him, was disdaining him and it felt awful. It was like everything he was feeling, all the doubts, all the questions… it was like everything has been for nothing. Because that’s was what it really was. Chanyeol was just playing him, he didn’t meant any of his words, he didn’t dwell on any of the touches, any memories haunted him like it haunted Baekhyun. Baekhyun was getting ahead of himself and it was time to reel back in.

“Well, I’ll pray so these coincidences won’t happen again”, Baekhyun said and hung up. 

Baekhyun tried to sleep with the resolve that Chanyeol didn’t had the power to make him feel small. 

-

After almost a day with no sleep, Baekhyun woke up around 12pm. It had been years since he last slept in, always waking up early in the morning. But he wasn’t well rested, unfortunately. His body was heavy and he felt a headache coming. He got out of bed and had breakfast for lunch, walking lazily around his apartment while eating some brownies his mom had left when she stopped by to clean his apartment yesterday. 

Baekhyun didn’t want to go back to bed so he went out for a run. He didn’t exercise regularly because of his schedule, but he tried to walk in the morning every time he could. He came back home sweating, and gulped down two aspirins to stop his pounding head. Baekhyun took a shower and around 2pm he picked up his cellphone and sighed. 

He had 42 missed calls from Chanyeol. Since his phone was always on airplane mode he hadn’t heard it ring throughout the night. All calls had an span of barely 20 minutes each, the last being made at 5:30am. He also had three unread messages. 

**From: Mr. Park**

Pick up.  
Baekhyun please.   
Okay then. 

Baekhyun didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want let Chanyeol get to him again and say things he didn’t mean that messed with Baekhyun’s head. 

When he was about to turn off his phone, Baekhyun received a call from Mr. Soo Man. He rolled his eyes before answering. 

“Yes?”, Baekhyun tried to sound polite but Soo Man irked him. 

"Baekhyun, son. I need a favor”, Of course he needed, Baekhyun thought. He had no idea how the man could function without help.

“What do you need?” 

“There are a few documents that I need signed by the morning. I’m not in Seoul right now so I can’t go there myself, he’ll signed and I’ll get it from you tomorrow morning.” 

Baekhyun took a deep breath, and tried not to let his annoyance show on his voice. 

“Isn’t it our day off today? You could just email the documents to them and they will email you back”, Baekhyun reasoned. 

“Son, days off are for students, not for us”, Baekhyun wanted to laugh because Soo Man was probably at some island or mansion somewhere. “One of my employees already left the documents at the lobby of your building, you know I don’t trust these technologies. Mr. Park said he will be home all day, I left his address on the parcel I sent you”. 

“WHAT?” 

Baekhyun didn’t had chance to deny or to throw a tantrum and say he would not go, that the documents could sign himself and he really didn’t care, that he was not the messenger, he wasn’t the delivery boy. He was not going to Park Chanyeol’s house. 

-

Baekhyun went to Chanyeol’s house around 5pm. He delayed as much as he could but after Soo Man called him the 6th time he decided it wasn’t worth the trouble. 

He lived in a penthouse in Gangnam just like Baekhyun expected. The building screamed expensive on Baekhyun’s face and he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Baekhyun tried to give the documents so someone could make Chanyeol sign and give it back while he waited at the lobby, but they said Chanyeol was already waiting for him. He snorted his way up, waiting until the elevator reached the last floor and Baekhyun got out on Chanyeol’s living room. 

The room was as big as his whole apartment and he questioned how could one person need so much space. Everything was white, black or grey and Baekhyun knew he wasn’t no one to judge lack of decoration’s giving the state of his apartment, but Chanyeol’s house lacked personality. For someone who had a personality like Chanyeol’s, Baekhyun couldn’t see an inch of it in the monochromatic house he seemed to live in. 

Baekhyun walked around for a bit, feeling the furniture with the tip of his fingers, the firmness of the leather couch, the spotless floor. The fireplace was lit and Baekhyun was glad that it wasn’t one of the fake ones attached to the wall, probably the perks of living the penthouse. He had a sense of déjà vu looking at the fireplace though. The pictures on top of it were ones that Baekhyun had seen before. Chanyeol. Chanyeol and his friends. Chanyeol and his mom. A lonely girl. The only difference was that in here, the girl’s picture had a flower in front of it. It was a hyacinth. Baekhyun didn’t knew much about flowers and their meanings, but he knew that one. It meant longing; missing. Chanyeol had said this girl was his fiancé. Baekhyun hoped he was wrong but he made the signal of the cross and wished well for her soul anyways. 

The sense of déjà vu didn’t stop there. He also felt again when Chanyeol approached, felt his perfume filling the air, felt weak in the knees. But he didn’t gave in. He turned around and stared at him. Chanyeol was standing beside the couch, shirtless and wearing sweatpants. Baekhyun focused on keeping his eyes solely on his face. 

“Good evening, Mr. Park”, Baekhyun tried to sound as distant as possible.

“Why you didn’t answered me? I called all night long”, Chanyeol had the audacity to ask and sound hurt. 

"I had nothing to talk to you about, Mr. Park. Could you please sign these? I have somewhere to be”. 

Chanyeol took careful steps towards him. Baekhyun stretched his hand to give him the parcel with the documents but Chanyeol just took them and threw them aside. He grabbed Baekhyun’s wrists gently, letting him know he could let go if he wanted. But Baekhyun didn’t. Deep down he wanted to know what Chanyeol had to say and he already had too much wrongs to top it off with more lying to himself. 

“You’re the humblest person I’ve ever met, I’m just an idiot that keeps saying the wrongs things to you. I’m sorry.” Chanyeol said while caressing his arms with his thumbs, with the slightest graze. 

And Baekhyun hated him. He hated him because he knew exactly what to say. He knew exactly how to break Baekhyun’s resolves, he knew how to bring down the bricks of his walls. Baekhyun closed his eyes because there wasn’t a single thing he wanted to focus on. He didn’t want to look at Chanyeol’s face; they seemed too serious and too honest for him now. He didn’t want to look at the point their skins were touching; he didn’t want another part of Chanyeol’s body engraved on his mind. So he just closed his eyes and hang his head down. 

“Can you sign the papers, please?”, Baekhyun asked in a small voice. 

“Will you leave if I sign them?” Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun nodded. “Then I don’t want to”, Baekhyun could hear his smile. Chanyeol stopped his caresses just to interlace their fingers. He slowly brought Baekhyun close and the smaller man could feel when Chanyeol made Baekhyun hug him by wrapping his arms around his waist. Baekhyun’s forehead was resting on Chanyeol’s strong chest and his smell was intoxicating.

“Stay here”, Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun shook his head slowly. “I have a guest room, you can stay there. I think I got used to know you where around, that you were safely sleeping next door”, he said and gave Baekhyun’s shoulder a chaste kiss. “You don’t even have to talk to me, just stay here. Please.”

Baekhyun’s mind was clouded. Everything about this was so weird. That wasn’t Chanyeol’s behavior. He wasn’t sweet. He never said please. He never said sorry. How could all of this be happening in just one night? Baekhyun knew something wasn’t adding up. How suddenly Chanyeol went from wanting to dirty talk him in school’s ground to beg him to sleep next door? His mind was a mess. A small part wanted to run away, wanted him to get out of there as soon as possible before he regrets. Another part was so caught up on Chanyeol that it already started to imagine his bed head and his raspy voice in the morning. But another part, the most rational one, understood that something was happening with that man. Something about him was so broken that it was attaching itself on a chance of being whole again. 

“Ok, I’ll stay”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, let me tell you all a few things. First of all, happy new year! Hope you all had an amazing holiday season with your families and that you're all safe! 
> 
> Now, about this chapter.   
> You all should be as confused as Baekhyun with Chanyeol's behavior, right? He have always been the fuckboy type, the one who didn't give a them about things and stuff. But Chanyeol is deeper than that. I've been hinting at his backstory and I'll be developing that on next chapter. 
> 
> I hope you all stick around, your involvement is what makes interesting writing this story. Thanks for being here and I really appreciate you all! xo


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of abuse.

Chanyeol’s eyes were far away while they sat on thebig leather couch in the living room. After Baekhyun decided to stay for the night, Chanyeol grabbed him by his hands and guided them to sit down. They were in silence for a while, none of them actually wanted to say something and break the bubble they had put themselves in. 

It was hard to think of something to say, also. Baekhyun knew something was going on with the man, bit he couldn’t exactly pinpoint it. He decided to study the man first before saying anything. Chanyeol’s figure was hunched over in the couch, seeming much smaller than it actually was, his hair was a bit disheveled but it was not the usual i-styled-it-like-this-to-look-hot kind of type, no. It looked like he had spent a lot of time thinking too hard about something. And his eyes were what spoke the most to Baekhyun. They were sad. They were lifeless. 

The priest followed his eyes and landed on the picture at the fireplace. 

“She was your fiancé, right?” Baekhyun asked, knowing Chanyeol was aware of were the conversation was going. 

The taller took his time, taking a few deep breaths before answering. “Her name was Rosé. I’ve met her when I was 20, and I never knew love until I landed my eyes on her. I remember the exact first time I saw her. She was wearing high waisted jeans, a white cardigan, sunglasses and a fedora. I hate fedoras, I think they make people look stupid, but it was beautiful on her. Everything looked good on her. I didn’t had the balls to talk to her back then, of course. I was an insufferable kid, with way too much hair, legs and ears and she looked like a princess. But my friends sold me so well that she approached me. And I think God must have been in a good mood because she liked me. She fell in love with me as hard as I fell in love with her. We dated for 4 years and then I proposed. I was never a romantic, but I went full out with her, I even had fireworks ready, because I knew she would say yes. And she did. I was the happiest man on the planet, Baekhyun. I had the most beautiful woman by my side, I had a good, stable job doing what I wanted, I was happy with my family…” Chanyeol took a deep breath and slumped on the couch, bringing his legs up and hugging his knees. Baekhyun wanted to hug him so bad. “And then it was over. You know, after I met her, I thought I had found my soulmate, I thought we had a bond, something special, something magical. I thought we were connected. I thought that I could feel her, that I could know where she was, that I felt her, every time and everywhere. But she died and I didn’t felt a thing. I was having lunch, and then I went to a meeting. I texted her and she didn’t texted me back. I called her and she didn’t pick up. And when she finally called back, it was a nurse on the other side of the line saying she was calling because I was listed as an emergency contact. A driver had lost control of his truck and it collided face first with her car. When the paramedics came she was already gone. She died instantly”. Baekhyun’s palms were sweating and his head was pounding. Chanyeol seemed so distressed and so, so sad. “It was a blink of an eye, and she ceased to exist. And I was lost, so lost Baekhyun, you have no idea. The first 2 years I was so depressed, I was drowning in self pity, I hated the world, and I hated every single person that was alive, because she wasn’t. So many people who didn’t deserve to live, so many people who were bad, who did bad things were there, living their lives, still harming others, but her? She was amazing, and genuinely a good person but she was dead. She deserved to live more than anyone else I’ve ever met, but she didn’t…. After the first 2 years, I allowed people in my life again, mostly just my mom because she was going nuts thinking I tried to take my own life. And she was devastated, because Rosé was like a daughter to her and in the end, my mom had lost both of us. She helped me a lot, my mom. I took my time to heal thanks to her. She forced me to see a therapist, she fed me, she dressed me, she took care of me until I was strong enough to take care of myself. And in that whole process, one thing my mom always did was take me to the church. But I hate the church. I went with her because I had to, because she was the only thing that kept me going so I couldn’t deny her that. If it was on me, I would burn down every single church on this mother fucking country. I hate how they judge you, I hate like all the priests I’ve seem look like they are those celestial beings and them go molesting kids behind closed doors! So I hated it all, every single minute I spent in all of them. I decided that it was time to stop after I turned 27. I was better, working again, my life was heading in a direction. I wasn’t just existing anymore, I had a purpose. So I told my mom to go the church alone one day. I spent 3 years without setting foot in it. Until last year, when a friend of my got married. He made everyone go and see a fucking mass. And you know who was there preaching at that day?” Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun for the first time since he started telling his story. “It was you. And I has hypnotized. The way you spoke, the way you seemed real, the way you looked honest saying all that crap about forgiveness and salvation. I spent one hour in there with my eyes glued on your every movement. And after almost 10 years I felt something, a sparkle somewhere. It was nothing like it was with Rosé, no. With her it was pure, it was a love so strong but so delicate at the same time, it was something I cherished and wanted to protect. What I felt about you, though… I wanted to destroy you, I wanted to corrupt you, I wanted to taint you. Because you’re a priest, and all I’ve ever learned about your kind is that you’re good liars and bad people. But you seemed the exact oppose and I hated you for that. I went a few more times to the church but only saw you twice more before you vanished. Then I found out about you taking a full time job in a school somewhere and so i thought my playtime was over and I would never see you again. In the meantime, I met Sehun. And can you imagine my surprise when the very own person I was having fantasies with appeared right in front of me when I’m with my boyfriend? I never believed in destiny but Baekhyun, right at that moment, I knew it was meant to be. Whatever it was that it had to happen between us, it was set to happen”. 

Baekhyun was silent. It was a lot of information and he was taking his time to digest one by one. All of Chanyeol’s feelings were imprinted to his every word. His sadness, his despair, his fear. Also his rage, his confusion and his malice. Baekhyun had questions, lots of them. But he didn’t knew where to start. 

“For the past 5 years, after I could fully get back on my feet again, I messed around a lot. I had a whole lot of sex with no strings attached, just one night stands because I couldn’t bring myself to think it would be okay to wake up beside someone it wasn’t her”, Chanyeol said after a really long time of silence. “But Sehun convinced me, little by little, that that part of me was still here, that even if I would never feel the same way about anyone else ever again, I could still feel _something_. I should allow myself that much. I own this to him and that’s why I can’t seem to let him go. But you’ve been on my mind for too long, Baekhyun. It’s been a whole year of you haunting me, of you chasing me in my dreams and frustrating me. I thought it would be easy, you know? After the first time we’ve met, I thought it was just a matter of time until I had you screaming on my bed. For me, all priests had that part of them, that deprived part they kept hiding until they’re alone, until they could be perverts and sinners in the darkness of a lonely room. But you’re hard to crack. You’re not corrupted like those other ones. And it’s about time I give up on you. You’re too good for me, you deserve your happiness and your peace”.

Baekhyun felt his heart speeding up. He knew what Chanyeol’s words meant and that was the moment he longed for. The moment where Chanyeol would realize his feelings were feeble, that he shouldn’t dwell on them and live his life like whatever that was had just been a momentary obsession that vanished like all things in life. Baekhyun should be relieved. 

But what he was feeling was far from relief. It felt like agony, perhaps. Like realizing the importance of something because you lost it. He didn’t know what was important to him at the moment, though. Chanyeol and his fears, insecurities, the heavy past he brought along and his honest. Or if it was Chanyeol’s hands, his soft, stolen kisses, the warmth of his skin and the way he made Baekhyun feel with just a look. Baekhyun was attached. He just had no idea if it was to the person or to the feelings the person caused him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! I'm sorry for the lack of updates and I'm so sorry for the small chapter. I had been focused in different things the last weeks that I didn't had the time give the attention this story needs. But here is Chanyeol's background. I gave a hint about Chanyeol already knowing Baek in the last chapter btw hahaha. Hope you guys like it, and I'll try to update again soon. Thank you for sticking with me and stay safe 💕
> 
> ps: the whole rant a about chanyeol x priests is a recurring discussion in my family. everyone here is a catholic and seem to turn a blind eye to all endless accusations against priests being involved with cases of pedophilia and sexual and power abuses that happens inside the religion. is a valid discussion so please keep your minds open.


	13. Chapter 13

  
_It’s about time I give up on you._

Baekhyun was listening to it again and again inside his head. It kept replaying like a broken record, it left him with a bitter taste in his mouth and void of all rational thoughts.

It took him a while, some very important minutes spent in silence until he finally understood the most important thing happening at that moment: the moment wasn’t about him. It wasn’t about his feelings or his confusion or his life. It was about Chanyeol’s. When that realization came down on him, Baekhyun finally found his words again. 

“You know, God takes account of every bad things that happens in life. Every stumble, every fall. Every _lost_. But everything bad that happens in the world has an end. And a purpose, even if you can’t see it now”, Baekhyun pondered with Chanyeol. They were still sat on the couch, but both looking at each other now, even though Chanyeol hang his head down when Baekhyun started talking. “Your suffering had taught you something. Just like your happiness also had. Every moment, every little thing that we go through, is justifiable. It may not look like it, it may hurt and look like you’ll never get over it, but you will. It’s God’s plan for you.” Baekhyun held Chanyeol’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together like he never thought he would be able to do on his own. “Once I was told that there are two things in life that can ruin a man: wine and woman. But I don’t think Rosé had destroyed you. She made you wiser and stronger.”

“How can I be wiser, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol switched from looking at their laced hands to look at Baekhyun’s face, his tone full of frustration. “How can I be wiser if everything I have been doing for a whole year now is to want something that I can’t have? It’s stupid if not to say bad, egoistic. I should not be allowed to unload my feelings on you, feelings that you never asked for, things you don’t want in your life. I’ve been doing you wrong since the beginning and I’m sorry only realized it now.”

“But you said you will give up on me. Isn’t it wise?”, Baekhyun said with a clean, calm voice even if it felt like a punch to his stomach. 

“In theory”, Chanyeol said with a humorlessly laugh. “But saying it out loud makes me feel like the dumbest person in the world”, he said looking straight into Baekhyun’s eyes, his hand a soft caress against Baekhyun’s. 

“Then why are you doing it?” If earlier Baekhyun’s voice was firm, now it was a mere whisper. 

“Because we should stop before getting to a point of no return. Before you do something you’ll regret, something unforgivable”.

“Chanyeol, there’s no such thing as big sin or small sin. But I know how to deal with my own. I’m more worried about yours”, Baekhyun said and Chanyeol gave him a confused look. “When it comes the time to look back at your life, to everything that you’ve done, would you be okay with every moment? Would you look at it and think that you don’t regret a single thing? That there is not a single thing that would made you unworthy of setting foot on Heaven? Would this, right here, feel right? Because if not, then you still have the time to regret. You still have the time to start over and save your soul”. 

Chanyeol was looking at him with a sad smile when he answered. “I don’t a give a damn about my soul, Baekhyun. I don’t believe in divine salvation. But even if it existed, I would not want it if it meant I should regret you. Because I don’t think I ever will. I told you once I’m not ashamed of my feelings, and that’s why they’re dangerous. I don’t want to let you go, Baekhyun. But I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself knowing I broke something so beautiful as your faith”.

Baekhyun had to come to terms with his own mind. He knew his heart had already made a decision and it would not stop beating faster for that man even if his prayers we’re listened by God countless times. Baekhyun had a decision to make, one that shouldn’t be made in the heat of the moment, one that needed time, patience, understanding and an amount of courage he only had looking at those eyes staring at his soul right in front of him. 

“I’ve questioned my faith time and time again this last few weeks. I doubted myself and my vocation, my duties. But I never once doubted God. Then I understood that no matter what happens, no matter how much things could go wrong and hit rock bottom, God will always be by my side. So I stopped questioning my faith because now I know it will never fade away. I may have lost hope but I’ll never lose faith”.

“What were you hoping for?”, Chanyeol asked. 

“That this”, Baekhyun said while gesturing between the both of them. “Would go away. That I would stop thinking about you, and stop wanting you near. That I would wake up one day and be despised by the mere sight of you. But every day, every time I open my eyes I see you. I remember the way you smell, the way you feel. It’s like you left you mark on me. Not on my body, but on my mind. So I’m not hoping to forget you anymore. I’m trying to understand how to live with it.”

“That’s the perfect time for me to leave, then. You’ll have the space you need to get me offnof your head”, Chanyeol said while caressing his hand. 

“If that’s what you want”, Baekhyun said looking at his eyes. 

“That’s supposed to be what _you_ want, Baekhyun”, Chanyeol said with a grin. 

“I have no idea what I want. I know what I should do, I should be delight to finally get rid of you and stop all of this once and for all. But it won’t make me happy. And I know it’s selfish because I know where you stand with your feelings, I know what you want from me, and I think I’ll never be able to give it to you. But I still want you around, even if for all the wrong reasons”

“You remember the first time you saw me? That day at KCS?” Baekhyun nodded with his head. “Remember that later that night you went to pray a mass?”

“How do you know that?” Baekhyun asked with eyebrows raised. 

“It’s creepy, I know, but I waited for you. I knew it would be completely out of line to stalk you and follow you to your house, but I had just found you again, I was terrified of losing you after so long. But you didn’t went home. You went straight to the church and I was so angry. And it’s so stupid, right? I couldn’t be angry because a priest was going to the church. So I swallowed down my anger and went in. It took me back to the times I hided at the back to watch your sermons because you were so mesmerizing that I couldn’t go away. And after that I kept watching you from afar. And I’ve seen so much of you, Baekhyun. With the students, with the staff at the school, with the parishioners. And then this last weekend, with just the two of us… You said you don’t know how you feel, but I also have no idea what you mean to me. I want you, I know that much. I desire you. But…” Baekhyun could see Chanyeol trying to find his words and slowly squeezed his hand to give him support. “But I don’t know what else is there. I know there is something, I can feel it. I can see it every time I look at you. It’s a the tip of my tongue, but I’m not sure if I can name it. Because if I do, it’ll make it real. And I think that both of us are scared of it, we both like that fantasy we created inside our little bubble. And we’re both terrified of bursting it and face reality”.

Baekhyun knew he was right. Reality meant judgement and neither of them were ready for what that could bring. 

“We both need time, you know that”, Chanyeol kept going. “This became deeper than we expected. I won’t go away, don’t worry. I’ll be here if you ever need me, but you need the chance to fix whatever I broke. You need to heal from me. And I need to understand myself. To be able to give you 100% of whatever that is that I’m feeling, if you ever want me to”. 

Chanyeol came closer and took Baekhyun’s face in both his hands. He rested their foreheads together and played with their noses. If he moved just one inch, they would kiss. And Baekhyun had never felt more at ease in his life. 

But Chanyeol did not kissed him. At least not in the mouth. Chanyeol gave him a kiss in the forehead and it was the most tender and affectionate a person had ever been with him.

Baekhyun left Chanyeol apartment that night. He had promised to stay, but they both knew what the next step should be. They should grow. Grow whatever it had been planted in both of them tonight. They should nurse it, and if it survived, they should claim it.

_Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud._   
_It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs._   
_Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth._   
_It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres_

_(…)_

_And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love._

_1 Corinthians 13_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! another small chapter, but we've got to a turning point of the story. both have finally said what was their minds because COMMUNICATION please. 
> 
> thanks again for your comments and support, means the world to me 🥰


	14. Chapter 14

It’s as old as the world the attraction between vice and virtue.

Baekhyun was trying really hard. After the conversation he had with Chanyeol two days ago, he hadn’t seen the man anymore. And he tried as much as he could to avoid all thoughts of him. He was busy with the school, he was visiting his parrish again and praying a few masses, he opened the confessional again so he could try and feel less like a failure by listening to others people’s mistakes. But, no matter how much he heard, he still felt like his sins outdid them all. How could a priest ever fall in love?

Because that’s what this is, right? Baekhyun had never felt like this before, the sensations it caused him just thinking about Chanyeol. The way he seemed to lose his train of thoughts, his palms sweating, the feeling at the pit of his stomach like he was floating every time the older man was around. Baekhyun knew about feelings, he wasn’t knew to them. But this – Chanyeol – he didn’t know.

Passion was the only feeling Baekhyun was ignorant about. The rest? He had felt it all. Love wasn’t foreign to him, he loved a lot of people. He loved his family, he loved the dog he used to have when he was a kid, he loved his students, he loved his friends. But he never before wanted none of them to kiss him stupid.

But Chanyeol? He wanted Chanyeol. He wanted his lips on him, he dreamed of his hands on his body, their breaths mingling. He wanted to feel the hardness of his chest, the muscles on his arms. But he also wanted his past, he wanted his insecurities, he wanted the uncertainty he saw in his eyes and the confidence he heard on his voice.

As long as he was occupied, that kind of thought was secure at the back of his mind. Baekhyun blinked and a week passed by without a word from Chanyeol. He never caught a glimpse of him at the school and he tried as hard as he could to not let Sehun spot him. The boy was probably the only real thing Baekhyun had to grasp on reality. Sehun was Chanyeol’s boyfriend and for as long as he was aware, that haven’t changed.

And that’s where the big problem lays. Baekhyun had his battles to fight and it was not easy for him, everyone could see that. He was a different person the last seven days. He was always deep in thoughts, easily scared and seemed out of tune with his surroundings most of the time when he was alone. But that was because one thing was stopping him from asking himself the most important question. What’s Chanyeol’s feelings for him?

Chanyeol told him, with an honest Baekhyun never thought the man was possible to muster, that he wasn’t sure about his feelings. And Baekhyun understood that, he was not sure about his either. But how could Chanyeol ever be sure if he already had a relationship? He didn’t seem to want to let go of Sehun, so what that meant to them?

“Your life don’t seem too hard”, Baekhyun said to an ant that was passing by his desk. “You may carry a heavy weigh on your back, but you don’t have to choose between right or wrong”.

-

Going out with Kyungsoo always made Baekhyun feel better.

There was something about his friend, the way he always gave everyone he was talking to his undying attention, that made really easy to talk to him. Most of the time it was the other way around, people went to Baekhyun to advices and he was the one listening, all the time. So when Kyungsoo sat on the table with him after finishing for the day at the restaurant, Baekhyun knew he wanted to tell him everything.

“Hey, is everything ok? You never come over unannounced”, Kyungsoo asked while untying his apron.

“Yes, I’m fine. I just want to talk to you about something”.

Kyungsoo must have detected something on his tone because not even 15 minutes later they were entering the chef’s apartment. He didn’t bother to offer Baekhyun something, he could help himself in the fridge if he wanted to. His friend led him to the sofa and Baekhyun sat facing the window, the sky a beautiful shade of orange as the sun was setting.

“Baek, what happened?”, Kyungsoo asked while carefully taking a hold of Baekhyun’s hands. He must have realized how his friend was spaced out.

“Do you think a priest can fall in love?”, Baekhyun asked without looking at him.

He knew the question took his friend by surprise, considering the amount of time he took to answer.

“I think people change. I used to be sure of things that I’m not sure anymore. I used to think that I knew a lot of things that I have no clue about. I found out that there are truth’s that I don’t know. I used to want things that I don’t want anymore. We all change”. Kyungsoo said while side hugging Baekhyun.

“But a priest makes a vow, a promise to God”, Baekhyun whispered.

“I also did vows myself. I promised things that I thought I would be able to accomplish but I couldn’t. But Baekhyun, we all have a heart. A heart that God don’t take from us, not even from priests”. Kyungsoo said while Baekhyun finally turned around to look at him, seeming troubled. “I want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what’s going on”.

“I’ve met someone. A man”, Baekhyun said without remorse, knowing that if there’s one person in the world who wouldn’t judge him that person was Kyungsoo. “And he messed with my mind. He gave me things I’ve never had before. He made me feel things I didn’t know I could, that I thought I wasn’t allowed to feel. And it’s killing me alive that I want more of it.”, Baekhyun said in a whisper.

“Baek, no one is free of turning a corner and fall in love, you don’t blame yourself for that. We have zero control over this things, it just happens. It’s as natural as breathing. But, being in your position, I know is tricky. Are you sure about your feelings? You have any idea what you want to do about it?”

“I’m not sure of anything anymore. I was so sure of this”, Baekhyun said while holding his crucifix "because it was everything I knew. I never allowed myself to think it was important to know anything outside of this bubble. But he opened me a world of possibilities” Baekhyun gave a humorless laugh. “And now everything is upside down. All I have is questions and doubts and this feeling inside of me, that takes control of my life. And I want it to stop, but it feels so good”, Baekhyun whispered in a pained voice.

“How long has this been going on?”

“A couple months, but it’s nothing concrete. It’s not like we have any type of relationship. It was bad at the beginning, he came at me to try and get in my pants, how absurd is that? And of course I refused, but he didn’t back down. He kept trying, and trying. And I discovered layers on him, and he is so much more than just what meet the eyes”

“What about his feelings for you? How does he feel about all of this?” Kyungsoo asked patiently.

“I have no idea. Last time we talked he said he was confused and he needed some time”, Baekhyun said and took a deep breath. “He has a relationship with one of my students”.

They were both silent for a while after that. Baekhyun didn’t blame Kyungsoo for it, it was a lot to take in.

“I’m going to be as honest as I can because I love you and I want you to be happy”, Kyungsoo said. “I think you have a lot at stake here. Everything in your life revolves around you being a priest and I know you’re questioning that right now. And I know you enough to know that you would never be unfaithful and do something you don’t believe in anymore. But it’s the first time you’re feeling like this, and it clouds your mind. I don’t want to be the person to discourage you to feel what you’re feeling because I think it’s one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, but I also know it doesn’t last forever. Whatever it is that you decide to do, it needs to be worth it. If you want to give up everything you have for that feeling, you need to be sure it won’t be in vain. Because you’ll need to let it all go. The school, the students, the church; that won’t be your life anymore. Is that man worth it? Because once you leave, you won’t be able to go back”.

-

Baekhyun had finished the last sermon of the day. It has been three weeks since he actively started to preach again, dividing his time between the church and the school. It had also been three weeks since he last saw Chanyeol.

He knew he was one call away, but Baekhyun didn’t had the will to call. He wanted the time away to sort out his feelings, specially after his conversation with Kyungsoo. His friend just confirmed everything he was terrified about. He wasn’t used to lose, so he could only assume he will never be able to let go and lose everything that he had achieved in his life.

During his sermons Baekhyun was in his element. He knew how to convince the people, he knew how to convey God and His message and make them believe. He knew how to be the messenger of the greater good. Baekhyun was familiar with his surroundings, with the faces watching him. He knew everything about Heaven and Hell. But in the end, all of his knowledge did not help him to know his own feelings. He could not destroy them if they didn’t speak the same language. His feelings were different from everything he ever learned while being a priest because love is a religion of it’s own.

Even being away from the object of his affection, Baekhyun tried to shape his feelings. He tried to convince himself that those feelings were feeble, delusional. He tried as much as he could to think of Chanyeol in a bad light. But living to avoid a person is the same as living for them. Baekhyun got tired of the lie he was trying to impose on himself really quick since Chanyeol still was the one on his mind everyday.

Baekhyun was about to leave the church when his phone rang and saw his mom’s name on the screen.

“Hi, mom!” He greeted her.

“Hey, baby. Could you stop by for dinner tonight?”, she asked with an excited voice.

“Yes, sure. What’s the occasion?”, he asked while heading to the subway.

“I don’t need a holiday to see my son, Baekhyun. It’s been weeks since we last talked, I miss you”.

“I miss you too, mom”, he said with a smile. “Ill be right there, ok? I love you”.

Baekhyun turned around to head towards the subway to go see his mom. He hated the subway, but it was the fastest way to her house since he wasn’t in the mood to wait for an uber driver. The walk to the station wasn’t long, and people were still on the street. He never really feared being alone in a dark alley or roaming around the streets late at night. It seemed people tend to avoid to mug a priest.

Baekhyun had walked for barely 3 minutes when a car stopped by his side.

“Mr. Byun?”, a voice called.

Baekhyun turned around to see Mr. Jung on the car, windows rolled down.

“Oh? What a surprise, Mr. Jung. How are you?” Baekhyun said while getting close to the car. It was just after he had barely reached the driver that he remembered who he worked for. Baekhyun stopped mid walk and looked at the tinted windows, wondering if Chanyeol was in the back seat.

“I’ve been good, sir. I’m heading home for the day, but I’ll appreciate to give you a ride if you’d like?” the man said, answering Baekhyun’s silent question.

“Oh, there’s no need. I’m going to see my mom, it’s probably out of your way”, he refused politely.

“I insist. It’s not everyday I have the chance to be in the presence of a priest, sir. I don’t have much time to go to the church now days because of work”, he said earnest while Baekhyun felt a pang in his chest. He’s not what that man think of him. “Come on in.”

The door was already open when Baekhyun tried to refuse again so he swallowed down and entered the back seat. Mr. Jung hummed happily and started the engine again while asking Baekhyun for directions. The priest’s mind started to work by itself when he felt the leather sit on his skin. Chanyeol probably sat there today, a few hours before him. The car did not smell like him but it was like Baekhyun could feel it, at the tip of his tongue. He imagined Chanyeol in there, reading documents, speaking on his phone, looking outside the windows. Did Chanyeol ever thought of him in here? His thoughts were interrupted when Mr. Jung asked him a question.

“How long have you been in this parrish, Mr. Byun?”

“Oh, it’s been a few years, in and out. Since I started to work for KCS I had to manage my time and the sermons started to be less and less until I had to stop completely. But I got back at it a few weeks ago”.

They made small talk for the rest of the way until they arrived at Mrs. Byun’s house.

“Thank you for the ride, Mr. Jung. Go home safely and God bless you”, Baekhyun thanked him after getting out of the car.

“Thank you, Mr. Byun. I’ll let Mr. Park know you got here ok. Bye!”, the driver said and drove off.

Baekhyun was puzzled on the side walk for a while. What did Mr. Jung meant with letting Chanyeol know he got there okay? Was that Chanyeol’s doing? Did he asked the driver to wait for Baekhyun and drive him home? Before he could come up with an answer he heard his mom calling him. They said hello with a hug and went to the kitchen after Baekhyun said hello to his father who was watching TV on the living room.

“I have a surprise for you!”, Mrs. Byun said excited.

“Of course you have. It’s not like you can keep a secret. Even on the phone you sounded excited”, Baekhyun said with a smile.

“Well, the surprise is more for you than for me so you should be glad”, she said while getting up and reaching for an envelop on the kitchen counter. She put it in front of Baekhyun with a smile. “Open!”.

Baekhyun eyed her warily but opened the paper anyways. It took him a while to understand after he saw but when it finally dawned on him, he almost jumped out of his sit.

“Is it real?”, he asked trying to contain his smile. His mom nodded and gave a little scream of excitement. “Mom that’s so much money! Who sent this?” He asked in disbelief.

“I don’t know! It arrived this morning with the mail”, she said while sitting back down, calmer.

The money in question was a check with the amount of 1 billion won. The addressee was Baekhyun’s mom but the recipient of the money was The Hope Child Orphanage.

The Hope Child Orphanage was a place Baekhyun visited since he was a kid. One day when he was about 8 years old he went out with his friends to play football in the court near by and ended up bumping into some other kids and they all played along. While going home later that day, Baekhyun found out that those kids were all orphans who lived in a place close by. Baekhyun felt sad for a while thinking about those kids, even in such a young age. He decided then that he would go there everyday to play with his new friends. Ever since then, Baekhyun had been there regularly every month. His involvement with the place had been so deep that his mom also started to participate, until she became the Orphanage director. They had helped countless kids along the years, serving as shelter not only for orphans but also for single moms struggling and every kind of people who needed a place to stay and warm food. They had been having financial problems ever since the city stopped helping with the maintenance of the place. They had around 150 people under their care and the donations were barely coping. The money came like a breath of fresh air for them.

“Mom, it’s too much money. We need to know where it came from”, Baekhyun said after sitting down again.

“Baekhyun, it’s a donation. A lot of companies do that”, she reasoned.

“Yes, but they always put their names on it, in bold letters. It’s never because the goodness of their hearts, it’s because they want to show off. And we never received such an amount before.”

“Baby, we are not in a place to refuse this. You know there’s a lot to do in the Orphanage. The kids will be ecstatic to have new mattresses, we need to repair the kitchen's roof and the restock the food. It came in the perfect time”, she said.

“I’m not saying we’ll refuse, but we should at least know who sent it so we could say thanks, I guess.”

Baekhyun and his mom talked for a few hours after that over some tea. Baekhyun’s mind was far away, happy to have such great news. The Orphanage was a big and important part of his life, those kids were like his own. He was over the moon to give them new toys and clothes, he would even make a small party and give them a few presents. He knew each one of those children personally, some he had rescued himself, being from the streets or from abusive and neglecting parents. Some were already old enough to leave but decided to stay and help with youngsters. Some had made their own lives over the years but every kid that Baekhyun had watched, and even growth with, always went back to Hope Child with a word of affection. That was their home for life.

Baekhyun arrived home with home with a smile on his face and a light heart. He would go with his mom to Hope Child on the weekend to start working on the repair and see what the kids needed. He took a long shower, singing a few songs out of tune and laughing at himself. It was just after he had laid down that something crossed his mind.

How much a coincidence could it be that Mr. Jung was there and drove him home the same day the Orphanage his mom runs receives a billion won donation? 

_I’ll let Mr. Park know you got here okay_.

Baekhyun knew he would not be able to sleep the doubt off so he did what he avoided for the last 3 weeks. He sent Chanyeol a message.

**From: Baekhyun**

**To: Mr. Park**

**Was it you?**

**The money?**

Baekhyun sent and waited for a reply. He knew the message was pretty vague but he was almost certain that Chanyeol was the one who sent it.

**From: Mr. Park**

**To: Baekhyun**

**Are you mad? Can I call you?**

Baekhyun felt his palms starting to sweat. He opted for texting because he didn’t want to hear Chanyeol’s voice. It made him feel things. But at the back of his mind he knew how much he missed it so when he finally realized he had already hit the call button.

“Hi”, he heard Chanyeol from the other side of the line.

“Hey”, he answered and his voice broke like the failure he was.

“I hope you’re not mad”, Chanyeol said and Baekhyun could almost picture how he looked right now. He would had scratched the back of his head and his nose would have scrunched a little bit while he surpassed a mischievous smile. Baekhyun felt like crying.

“I’m not mad”, Baekhyun said. “But why?”

“Well, the company does a donation every year. The board give me a few names of institutions around town and I make a few calls to decide who to donate for. This year I had the pleasure to see a Mrs. Byun on the list, who’s running the Hope Child Orphanage. Since your surname is not the most common in the world, I investigated a bit and found out more about your and your mom’s job on the place. I decided to make an anonymous donation because I didn’t know if you’d be okay with the money coming from me”, Chanyeol said.

“Do you always donate the same amount?”

“Well, this year I’m a little biased”, Chanyeol said and Baekhyun felt his lungs constructing. He missed this man like crazy.

“Thank you”, Baekhyun said. “Those kids had being my mom’s life ever since me and my brother left home. She gives them everything she can. And, I don’t know if you ever felt like this, but it’s the greatest feeling in the world when one of them gives you a hug just because you took a time of your day to pass by and say hi”, Baekhyun said with a raspy voice while holding back his tears. He didn’t know who he was crying for anymore. “They’re going to be really happy with the things we’ll be able to do for them with the money you sent us. Thank you for that”, Baekhyun finished.

They were both in silence for what felt like an eternity, just listening to each others breaths. When Chanyeol finally broke the silence, he also broke Baekhyun’s heart.

“I’m in love with you”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm extremely sorry for the lack of updates! Life has been in the way. But I hope you all still around, i really appreciate the feedback! Thank you :)))


	15. Chapter 15

It was a beautiful Saturday morning.

Or it could have been if Baekhyun wasn't fighting the biggest storm of a lifetime. 

Someone was in love with him. **Chanyeol** was in love with him. Should he be happy? Baekhyun had pretty much determined that what he felt for Chanyeol was also passion. So, to know that it was mutual, that he could just reach out and be loved in return… It scared the living hell out of him. 

Baekhyun was once told that he became a priest because he liked to be adored. That thought accompanied him for a really long time. Was that it? Was it no vocation at all? He just like to be seen and liked by people? Was all that pretense? And vanity and arrogance? He had too many question at that time. But as he grew, Baekhyun was sure that he was not people’s opinions on him. He knew his place and he stood there. 

But he was loved! Not adored, not liked. He was loved! If he really was that person who greeded the spotlight of peoples heart, he should be delighted with the news. But he was frightened. 

Baekhyun wanted to be good, wanted to do good. When he became a priest, he also became a blank page so God could write his story. Was Chanyeol’s love part of what God had to write for him? Was it it? 

Baekhyun had turned off the phone last night after Chanyeol’s confession. To be honest, Chanyeol was the one who hung up after Baekhyun spent the next 5 minutes in silence. He had chuckled and whispered a soft goodnight before the line went silent. Baekhyun could not get a shut eye throughout the whole night. When the sun was finally beginning to rise he dozed off but it was merely an hour before his thoughts woke him up. He could not hear the silence even when he was asleep, it was like his thoughts had a mind of their own, jumbling his head with questions and demands he wasn’t sure he wanted. 

He got up the bed around 11am when his mom called him. Another reminder of Chanyeol by the way. Mrs. Byun was thoroughly excited to start the renovations at the orphanage and wanted Baekhyun by her side to every decision and he was also marveled with the prospect of making those kids happy. 

After dressing up, Baekhyun was about to leave his apartment when his phone ranged. It was a message from Chanyeol saying he wanted to talk. Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he was really ready to that moment, but he was tired of avoiding it – and he also missed Chanyeol too much. Baekhyun responded to the message with a time and a place. _The caffé from last time at 7pm_. He had a few hours to try and think of what to say. 

-

His mom was over the moon. 

They spent the entire day shopping. When he arrived at the orphanage she had already called a construction company to start the renovations and sent someone to do the groceries for a whole month. Baekhyun was really proud of her and how invested she became on something so important to him when his life took unexpected curves. They’d arrived back with dozens of shopping bags and delivered scheduled for the next day. New mattresses were their top priority with the kids growing up. They also shopped for clothes and toys for the youngsters. It was a very productive day after all. He was exhausted when he slumped down at the couch of his mom’s house. 

“I’ll never go out with you again, woman. How do you still feel your legs?”, said Baekhyun after a glass of water. He was not the most athletic out there to begin with.

“Oh, don’t be a whiny baby. We still have a lot to do, but as productive as today was, I need you focused next time. You were barely there with me sometimes. What’s on your mind?”, his mom said while sitting at the sofa opposite to him.

Her tone was concerned and her eyes had that glint on them, that wisdom of a mother who knows there is something troubling her child. Baekhyun had a lot of doubts he was tired about but one thing was the one he feared the most. Judgment. 

Baekhyun was more afraid of the judgement of men than the judgment of God. God was judgmental but He saw everything. He had all the versions of the truth to give his verdict and he was ways fair. Baekhyun doesn’t fear Him. What he is truly afraid is the people. The people who judge by appearance, who judge by taking sides and half a story. Baekhyun was afraid of having to hear them speaking their minds, because they were limited. Men judgement came from perspective and their perspective is whatever they want to see. They could adjust whatever to fit in their principles and morale. 

But that was his mom and she deserved nothing but the truth. Even if it hurts. 

“I’ll never be able to give you grandchildren of my own”, he said. They had talked a whole lot about that before. But this time his mom was silent, giving him the time he needed. “And it’s not because I’m a priest. It’s because I fell in love with a man”, he said while looking into her eyes. 

He saw a lot in them as she understood what he had said. He saw surprise of course, than he saw disbelief. He also saw a million thoughts running on her head right at the moment, the question mark stamped on her face. After a silent minute of confusion he also saw in her eyes understanding and love. 

“When did that happen?”, she asked.

“Few months ago”, he almost whispered. 

His mom got up from the couch and sat right beside him. She took his hands on hers and just waited for him to talk. She was giving him a space to put his heart out and that was what he did. Baekhyun told her everything he was always afraid to say out loud. When he finally stopped, his hands trembling and releasing a breath he didn’t even knew he was holding, she hugged him. It was the bear mother hug, the one to keep you safe from the world and to shelter you from everything life throws your way. It was what Baekhyun needed the most. 

“Let me tell you two things”, his mom said after they broke apart. “ One is that I love you. I love every part of you, even the ones I dislike. I understand you and I support you. I did in every single one of your decisions, even when I didn’t agree. Second is that you’re free. God didn’t tie you down. You made a decision when you choose to serve Him but my love, He’s the last being in this entire existence you should worry about. God wants love, and he wants happiness. And if some time along the way you stopped finding those only on him, it’s because you’re supposed to. And I know it’s scary right now, the prospect of just stop being who you were for almost all of your life, it must feel like losing everything, your identity. But you are more than a title or your religion. Don’t let those things tie you down. You spent so many time trying to take care of others but now is the time you have to do it for yourself”.

All Baekhyun could do was curl up into her and cry. He had held the tears back for a long time, but all he could do right, all he was able to was cry. He didn’t expect the tears to come so naturally but it was like the only thing he knew how to do at the moment. He never imagined that reaction coming from his mother. In fact, he never expected any reaction at all since he had never thought about telling her about Chanyeol. But she just said everything he wanted to hear, every reassuring words taking a ton off of his shoulders. His mom kept whispering comforting words on his ear while patting his head until he controlled himself.

Baekhyun looked at her and saw she had a few tears on her face.

“How will I know that is not a mistake? What if I let it all go for something that will not work out in the end?”, he asked while cleaning her tears. 

“Oh darling, that’s life. Most of the times it’s not the way we’ve imagined it, but we live it anyway, right? You won’t go anywhere if you keep thinking about what could be. Is it worth it? And I’m not asking you to think about this man, or anyone in particular, I’m asking you to think about yourself. You want to live this love, or any other one you may have in your life? I want you to look at the bigger picture, what if you don’t try now and in a few years you start regretting? Or if you don’t try now just to fall in love again later? It happened once, it could happen again. Your heart won’t fool you, Baekhyun”. 

Baekhyun took a deep breath and slumped on the couch. He kept looking at the ceiling for a few minutes trying to make something out of the mess on his mind. He knew that two things were holding him back: Chanyeol’s relationship with Sehun and the fear of judgement. 

Throughout his life as a priest, he had encountered a few unpleasant surprises. He knew not all priests were good and had perfect morale. He knew about the ones having affairs, he knew about the ones who committed crimes… But he never knew one who dropped everything. They rather do it in hiding, they rather commit the sin than to let it go of their careers, of what they built. They would never decline of their position or lose a good night’s sleep because of it. But Baekhyun wasn’t like this. He wanted to stay loyal to his principles until he completely made up his mind. But was he brave enough to do it? Lose his career, his job, his reputation, all for a man? He knew Chanyeol had it easier than him, of course. He wouldn’t be losing anything, and that’s scared him to the core. Chanyeol would still be Chanyeol but what about him? Who would Baekhyun become?

-

It was 5:30pm when Baekhyun arrived home. He took his time showering, washing his hair two times. He was nervous about his meeting with Chanyeol. What was he supposed to say? Chanyeol had confessed to him and he blanked. He was embarrassed beyond measure to have to face Chanyeol after going silent on him last night. He knew Chanyeol wouldn’t hold it against him but he had screamed in frustration on the shower anyway. 

Baekhyun also took his time dressing, and drying his hair, and putting on his shoes and brushing his teeth. When he finally looked at the clock it was 6:39pm. When he arrived on the Caffé he asked for the same table from the last time they were there. It was different now at night. The outdoor view was beautiful, the sky full of stars. It was not difficult for Baekhyun to lose himself in thoughts while alone in such a nice place. But that didn’t last long. Baekhyun heard the scrapping sound of the chair in front of him not even 5 minutes after he sat down. 

Chanyeol’s presence was overwhelming. He looked beautiful as always but more than that, Baekhyun knew he was _there_. It was for him, and he looked good for him, he smelled good for him and he was smiling at him. He looked happy and Baekhyun was happier because he caused that. 

Chanyeol sat down in front of him and with a wink he took Baekhyun’s hands on his. 

“Hi”, Baekhyun said with a smile of his own. 

“Hi”, Chanyeol said back grinning. 

“You look happy”, Baekhyun pointed while trying to distract himself from Chanyeol’s warm hands on his. 

“You have that effect on me”, Chanyeol said. “You can make me nervous, anxious and happy in a spam of a few hours”.

“I didn’t mean to”, Baekhyun said sheepish. “You really took me by surprise there. With the donation, with the phone call, with the confession…” He almost whispered the last part. 

“It was long overdue. All of it”. Chanyeol was still with a smile. He was still looking at Baekhyun with adoration, like every time Baekhyun averted his eyes were the most enjoyable movie he ever saw. 

“I still don’t know what to say.” It was Baekhyun’s turn for a confession. “I mean, I _know_ what say, I just don’t know how to say it.”

"You don’t have to. Take your time, we both still got things to figure out”. Chanyeol let go of his hand them, but just to order for them. They both asked for a Cappuccino and when the waiter took their order, their hands found each other again. 

“How are the things for you? With Sehun?” Baekhyun knew he shouldn’t be afraid to ask, but at the same time he was scared of the answer. 

Chanyeol let out a long sigh before speaking. “I don’t know. To be honest I’ve been ignore him these last few days. I don’t feel good about it but I don’t know what to do. I thought it would be easier but I do have a soft spot for him”.

Baekhyun didn’t want to, he tried really hard no to, but he was a bit jealous. It was completely wrong and he could not understand why he was feeling that way, but it bothered him enough to take his hands out of Chanyeol’s hold. He pretended to fix something on his chair and kept his hand down. If Chanyeol noticed, he didn’t speak about it. 

"You should figure it out faster. It’s wrong to keep deceiving him, to keep him in a relationship that doesn’t really exist anymore. Unless you’re scared, what’s completely understandable”.

“Why would I be scared?”, Chanyeol’s hands were still on the table, a clearly invitations for Baekhyun but he didn’t took it. 

“I don’t know. What do you expect from me, Chanyeol?”, Baekhyun asked with honesty. 

“All I expect from you is sincerity. I want you to tell me what’s on your mind, want you to let me in in your life, I want you to be honest with both our feelings. But I can’t expect any more than that because I know that as long as you’re a priest you won’t be my anything”. 

Baekhyun was incredibly relived to hear that. It took him a lot of time to come to terms with that questioning, with the possibility of it, and it was satisfying to know Chanyeol understood the weight of that decision. 

“I still have too much doubts. None of them are about you, though. Being a priest is the biggest part of my life, is all I know. And the prospect of never doing it anymore is terrifying. I’ll lose everything, Chanyeol. I’ll lose everything I’ve fought for. The school, the parrish, the students. I’ll lose people’s faith, I’ll lose their respect. The person I am will crumble right in front of my eyes. I don’t know if I’m ready to do that”, Baekhyun said. It was sad but the truth. How much of a coward could he be for being afraid of something like this? “But at the same time, I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. Even though I’m scared, I know I don’t want to fight this”. 

Baekhyun whispered the last part and took Chanyeol’s hands in his this time. His nimble fingers found Chanyeol’s and locked their hands together. 

“Because I’m in love with you”. 

They got lost in each other pretty quickly after that. They didn’t need words for a while, just bathing in each other’s presence. None of them averted their eyes this time, keeping their eyes on their faces the entire time. They would go up and down, as if memorizing every part of the other, every detail the moonlight allowed them to see. They didn’t care when the waiter came up and left their drinks, not even paying attention to the smiling worker. They let the world close in on them for the time being and it felt as sweet as honey being able to be free. 

“Is unfair how much I want to kiss you right now”, Baekhyun said and was surprised by his own voice. He didn’t meant to say that out loud. 

Chanyeol groaned and for the first time his eyes left Baekhyun, just so he could plant his face on the table. 

“You can’t tell me these things”, came from Chanyeol’s muffled voice. Baekhyun laughed and Chanyeol looked at him with a pout. “It’s been more than a year for me, Baekhyun. You should not be allowed to talk about fairness in this situation”. 

The atmosphere between them was the sweetest. They talked about everything and anything, laughing together about their poor life choices. There were moments they would let the silence surround them and just admire each other, their fondness heavy in the air. They spent hours together that felt like minutes and when Chanyeol parked in front of Baekhyun’s apartment, they were ten times more in love with each other. 

“I’ll have a serious talk with Sehun tomorrow. I want to end things with him as good as possible”, Chanyeol said while Baekhyun unfastened his seat belt. 

“Try not to hurt him, he’s a good kid”, Baekhyun said. 

Chanyeol’s hand found his way on Baekhyun’s left thigh. It was just sitting there, an innocent gesture. The caress against it would be barely perceptive if Baekhyun wasn’t tuned in on Chanyeol’s every movement. He knew Chanyeol wasn’t trying to make it sexual but something inside him stirred and he quickly scrambled up to get out of the car saying a hastily good night. Before he could open the door though, Chanyeol locked it and had a good laugh at Baekhyun’s blushing face. 

“Don’t be like this”, Baekhyun whined. 

“I like to see you lose your composure”, Chanyeol said while unfastening his own seatbelt. He leaned into Baekhyun who leaned into the car door and closed his eyes, embarrassed. Chanyeol laughed but kept closing into Baekhyun until their faces were inches apart, their noses touching. “I like to see that I affect you as much as you affect me”

Baekhyun was shivering. Chanyeol's warm breath on his face, the way he could smell him so close, the way he knew his hungry eyes were on his lips even with his eyes closed... Baekhyun held on his seat and waited, with a bit of anticipation, for whatever Chanyeol would like to give him.

Chanyeol kept touching their noses affectionately, then started to distribute feather light kisses on Baekhyun’s face. He kissed every inch except his mouth. While kissing his jawline, Chanyeol took his chance to also kiss Baekhyun’s neck. It was there on display for him, and Chanyeol nosed it sensually, making Baekhyun shiver and hold tighter on the seat. No one had ever been close to that part of Baekhyun’s body so he had no idea how sensitive it would be until Chanyeol licked it for the first time and Baekhyun let out a moan. It startled both of them but it fueled Chanyeol’s will. He kissed harder on the exposed skin, buy still slow and sensual movements. Chanyeol made it more intimate when he held Baekhyun’s head with his hand, locking his fingers on the younger male’s hair, gripping it. Baekhyun was shamelessly panting now, his hands now gripping Chanyeol’s shirt. Baekhyun was not sure if it was to prevent him or to drag him closer. Chanyeol kissed the whole expense of Baekhyun neck, his throat, nibbled his ear. Baekhyun was melting into his seat with every stroke of Chanyeol’s tongue on his skin. 

Baekhyun was in the verge of crying out from the intensity of Chanyeol’s kisses when the older stopped altogether. Baekhyun tried to forget the whole night the moment he whined in protest when Chanyeol’s lips left his skin. Baekhyun opened his eyes to see Chanyeol grinning at him and huffed in annoyance like a petulant child. Chanyeol laughed and gave him a side hug. 

“You should go before I move my lips up”

“Right”, Baekhyun said after taking a deep breath. “When will I see you again?” He asked without looking at Chanyeol. 

“Whenever you want”, Chanyeol said with certainty. 

“Would you do something for me?” Baekhyun asked and tried no to blush – again – when Chanyeol said a really convincing _anything_. “I’ll be at the orphanage the whole day tomorrow supervising a few renovations but after that we’ll be having a dinner to celebrate the donation we received. Would you be there?” Chanyeol was silent for a while and Baekhyun felt himself about to combust. He felt like an idiot for asking something like this out of the blue. “You don’t have to come If you don’t want of course. You know what? Forget I asked”, Baekhyun was about to apologize when Chanyeol shushed him.

“I’ll be there. Text me the address. It’s just that…” Chanyeol said and sounded almost embarrassed. “I’m not really good with kids, they tend not to like me’. 

Baekhyun actually laughed this time and gave Chanyeol a long kiss on his cheek. “Don’t worry, they will love you. Just like I do”. 

Baekhyun left the car after that and both he and Chanyeol spent the night with a smile that didn’t falter, not even while sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone, hope you all safe and taking care! i had a terrible week so here's a poor chapter because it was all I could come up with. sorry for the lack of updates but I hope you all still around. This story it's coming to an end soon so i hope you still enjoying it, i love and appreciate all your comments, thank you for giving love to this work ❣️


	16. Chapter 16

Baekhyun tended to dislike Sundays. It was a sacred day at the church but personally, Baekhyun wasn’t a big fan. It was like those people who have a favorite number or a color they don’t like. Baekhyun didn’t like Sundays. 

But he likes this one. He had good night’s sleep – something that was foreign for him these last few weeks – and woke up in a good mood. He tried to think it was because of how productive his day would be and not because he would see Chanyeol again tonight. 

Baekhyun got up early, around 9am. He took a quick shower and ate breakfast on his way to the orphanage. His mom was already there supervising the deliveries arriving and greeted him with a kiss on his cheek when he took a cardboard box out of her hand. As they walked together to the patio, she informed him about the repair team working in the kitchen. She had already stocked the groceries away and was just waiting for the kitchen roof to be ready so she could start preparing for dinner. 

“We’ll have a guest tonight, by the way”, Baekhyun said casually, trying to sound unpretentious. 

“Who?”, his mom asked while piling some boxes together. Clothes and bed sheets had just arrived and she had put them in a corner so the kids wouldn’t try to pry when they woke up. 

“The CEO of the company who donated the money for us.”

“What? Who is it? How did you found out?”, She shrieked at him making him laugh. 

“He is one of the board members of KCS. I think I might have mentioned about the work in here someday, or something. Anyways, he contacted me last night and I invited him.” He had rehearsed that part the whole way there so he didn’t even blinked while he told her. Technically he wasn’t lying, just not telling the whole truth. 

“You should have told me that sooner, Baekhyun!”, she said while letting go of the boxes and walking towards him to slap him in the arm. Baekhyun made an indignant noise while she huffed in annoyance. “I don’t know what these rich people eat, Baekhyun! What will I do now? I’ll must have to order something”, she said while slapping him again. 

“Hey!”, he protest and held her hands to give her a hug. “Your food is delicious, I’m pretty sure you could give us all boiled eggs and it would taste like steak”. He said with a smile. 

“We have to make a good impression!”, his mom said.

“Mom, he gave us 1 billion won, I think we already did”.

His mom did not calmed down. She kept walking up and down, and even asked if the team working on the kitchen needed a hand so they could finish faster. If she was already nervous with Chanyeol’s visit without really knowing who he was, what would she do if Baekhyun was ever to tell her that Chanyeol was his boyf… his person. 

The kids started to wake up around half an hour after Baekhyun arrived, and if felt like Christmas Day when they all saw the number of boxes and people around, working in their home. Some of them actually shed a tear or two but let’s not tell everyone that. Baekhyun himself was pretty emotional with how many kids came up to him to thank and with how many warm hugs he had received. 

Baekhyun put the older kids to look out for the youngest ones while he went to look for his mom. The kids were already dying to start opening their gifts and go out to play with them, but Mrs. Byun didn’t want them to open anything before Chanyeol arrived. Baekhyun tried to change her mind since he didn’t even knew if Chanyeol was really coming – part of him was still doubting if it was a good idea to call him. 

In front of the entrance was where Baekhyun found his mom. 

He saw the car first, slick black and shining in the sunlight. Chanyeol was already out, talking with his mom – who reached a bit above Chanyeol’s hips and Baekhyun had to take a deep breath not to laugh – at the orphanage gates. He couldn’t see his mom’s expressions but Chanyeol had a polite smile on his face when his mom suddenly hugged him. Baekhyun could hear a distant _oh my god_ coming from his mom and he walked up to them laughing.

Baekhyun could see Chanyeol’s panicked expression when their eyes met and it put him on a fit of laughter. Chanyeol rolled his eyes fondly at him when Baekhyun finally approached them. 

“Ok mom, I think you should let him go now”, Baekhyun said while holding his mom’s shoulders and giving her a side hug to pry her away from Chanyeol. 

“Baek! How come such a young man have so much money to spend that his giving us 1 billion won?!”, she looked genuinely perplexed and Baekhyun just laughed again and gave her a kiss on the forehead. 

“I’m not as young as I look Mrs. Byun, believe me”, Chanyeol said. 

“Well, no matter how old you are, Mr Park, we’re still truly grateful to you. But I thought you would be coming for dinner, what are you doing here so soon?”, Baekhyun asked raising his eyebrows. It wasn’t even 12pm yet, Chanyeol was supposed to arrive in the afternoon. 

“I had a few hours to spend so I decided to come see the Orphanage. I like to pay a visit to the foundations we help at the company”, he said looking at Baekhyun with a smile that was obviously mischievous but it seemed enough for his mom. 

“Oh, of course! We’ll be putting your money on good work in here, Mr. Park, don’t worry!” Mrs. Byun was about to take Chanyeol on a tour when a loud noise came from the kitchen, startling them. “I better see what happened in there. Baekhyun, you show him around, ok? Make yourself at home, Mr. Park”. 

Mrs. Byun rushed inside leaving Baekhyun and Chanyeol by themselves. Chanyeol got closer to Baekhyun and took his hands on his. 

“I also missed you, Mr. Byun”, he said winking. 

Baekhyun smiled and probably blushed but if someone ever asks, it was the sun. He freed his hands and crossed his arms in front of his body, looking at Chanyeol with a soft expression. 

“I thought you wouldn’t come”, he said honestly. 

“I thought about that too. But I would be completely out of my mind if I lost a chance to spend the whole day with you, right?”

“And the kids, and my mom. Even the repair team working in the kitchen. That’s hardly just me.”

“I’ll give you my word that I’ll do my best to sneak around with you at least once every hour”, Chanyeol said while putting a hand over his heart. 

It was the second time Chanyeol had avoid swearing something to him ever since Baekhyun told him not to. It was just small moments, things like this, that made Baekhyun’s heart skip a beat. 

They went inside after that, Chanyeol trying to steal a back hug from Baekhyun and the smaller male avoiding him and laughing. How long had it been since Baekhyun felt so light? 

Baekhyun actually made a really good job of showing Chanyeol around the orphanage, avoiding the kids for the time being. He wanted that moment to be a special moment of it’s own. He showed him the first floor of the right wing that consisted of 3 big rooms. The first one was the living room, a big open space with 2 big TVs and a handful of puffs scattered around. Down the hall was the music room; a few kids were in there so they didn’t make the visit long. Last room was the game room. It was a bit outdated according to the kids but Baekhyun couldn’t see the problem with having board games and a console game he didn’t knew the name of. 

“I’ll buy them a few Playstations”, Chanyeol said scandalized after they left the room. 

The second floor had about 20 rooms, 10 on each side. Since the number of kids weren’t even they tended to sort them out by age number. Chanyeol was actually paying attention to Baekhyun's explanation and seemed interested in learning about the place and that made Baekhyun proceed the rest of the visit with a smile even bigger on his face. 

The last floor was the sports court. It was the kids favorite place after the game room. Baekhyun liked there as much as the kids did, even if he was getting a little old and slow for dodgeball. The view from up there was captivating and Baekhyun went on with telling Chanyeol about the times he went there as kid and the friends he made on that very same ground. As he was reminiscent of the past, Chanyeol finally managed to sneak around him and get the back hug he had been dying for. 

Baekhyun forgot about where he was for a minute, laying his head on Chanyeol’s chest and just enjoying the view and the company. Everything seemed so easy and so peaceful from up there, it was like Baekhyun didn’t had a care in the world. He let out the doubts wash off for the moment and enjoyed the feeling of having Chanyeol breathing down on him. 

Feeling that didn’t last really long since they heard the ruckus of the kids coming up the stairs. They let go of each other and started to make their way back when finally all the kids went up. 

“Play a round with us, Mr. Byun”, one of the kids said and caught Baekhyun by surprise. It had been a long time since he actually played with the kids. He knew they were looking at him expectantly but he was feeling a bit embarrassed having Chanyeol around to see him make a fool of himself playing with them.

“Both of you, actually. You could be on the same team then you can use your friends height as an advantage”, an older kid said making everyone laugh, including Chanyeol. 

“Are you saying my height is a disadvantage, Lee Seokmin?”, Baekhyun said incredulous. 

“Never said that”, the boy shouted at him while running around the court to divide the teams. 

Baekhyun could see by the corner of his eyes Chanyeol taking off his jacket. He was wearing a white sleeveless shirt underneath it and Baekhyun felt an uncontrollable desire of feeling his arm muscles. Before he could actually dwell on the fact that he was having impure thoughts about Chanyeol surround by a bunch of kids, the taller man grabbed him by the hand muttering a soft _c’mon_ and went to join the kids in the center of the court.

-

Baekhyun was sweat, clothes sticking to his body, hair dripping and panting. The spitting image of gross. 

Chanyeol was sweat, clothes sticking to his body, hair dripping and panting. The spitting image of Baekhyun’s wet dreams. 

Both didn’t have the same physical capabilities of the teenagers around so after a few rounds they went to the bleachers to watch for a bit. And Baekhyun’s personal hell started. He was aware of every breath Chanyeol took. The taller man was leaning on his arms, his chest heaving up and down beside Baekhyun. The priest could see every drop of sweat traveling from Chanyeol’s neck until it disappeared inside his shirt. He could see Chanyeol’s nipples sticking on the material. Baekhyun was aware of the muscles on Chanyeol’s arms flexing to support the weight of his upper body. He could see the hint of his toned abs through his shirt. Baekhyun almost had a seizure when Chanyeol oh so slowly lifted that damned t-shirt to wipe at his sweat face and Baekhyun could actually see the glistening skin of his stomach and the defined muscles in there, which Baekhyun would give probably almost everything in the world to be able to touch at the moment. 

Baekhyun’s own body felt like he was still in the middle of the game. Every part of him was hot, every place on his skin burning. But it wasn’t from exhaustion, it was desire. It was the thick, almost palpable desire emanating from him. 

“If you don’t want me to sport a boner in the middle of these kids you better stop looking at me like this”, Chanyeol said in a low voice and Baekhyun’s whole body trembled involuntary. He thought he was being sneaky but in reality, Baekhyun was full on staring at Chanyeol while the other erupted a volcano of sensations inside him. 

Baekhyun got up the bleachers and made his way out of the court. The showers were all empty since all the kids were still playing so he had the place for himself. He didn’t had the strength to take of his clothes and actually shower so Baekhyun just stuck his head under the shower spray and let the cold water cool his thoughts. It felt impossible, of course, even more so when a warm hand enveloped his waist. 

“You’ll get a cold at this point”, Chanyeol said turning while turning the water off. 

Baekhyun was hardly surprised. To be quite honest, it gave him a sense of accomplishment to know he now had someone who would run after him in the end. 

Chanyeol turned him around and let Baekhyun’s arms envelop him. Not even the cold water running through him helped Baekhyun to calm down. He never actually liked sweat people so he should be disgusted with being so close to Chanyeol, his nose buried in the middle of his chest, but the musk scent coming from the older was so undeniably _Chanyeol_ that only served for Baekhyun to lose himself more. Baekhyun fisted Chanyeol’s shirt trying to feel and draw the man into him as close as possible and he probably would laugh of his own misery if he wasn’t about to drawn on his sorrows. 

Chanyeol was petting his hair, holding him close and massaging his scalp but it did nothing to sooth him, it only fueled up the fire at the pit of Baekhyun’s stomach. His breathing was becoming faster as Chanyeol’s fingertips were making contact with him skin, his nails gently scratching his neck. Baekhyun had discovered that his nape was a really sensitive area of his body ever since Chanyeol came into the picture so every hint of caress in there made Baekhyun’s legs become jelly. Chanyeol seemed to realized that with how much he was teasing that part of Baekhyun’s head. Baekhyun knew Chanyeol was being respectful, he knew he was holding back for his own sake. If Baekhyun wanted something from Chanyeol, he would gladly give, but first, Baekhyun should ask. 

“Please…”, Baekhyun whispered, so low that if they were to take a deep breath Chanyeol wouldn’t have heard. But he did and Baekhyun hoped he could have conveyed what he so desperately wanted to. 

And he did, since Chanyeol’s big and strong hands intertwined with the hair on his nape and fisted his head back, sensually but with so much strength that Baekhyun almost fell to the ground. Chanyeol backed him on the wall and tugged at his hair again, the other side this time and Baekhyun shamelessly moaned into Chanyeol’s chest, his fingers white while he held onto Chanyeol’s shirt.

“You like when I pull your hair, hm?”, Chanyeol said with a low voice and Baekhyun’s eyes rolled at the back of his head. It was barely any stimulation at all, but Baekhyun’s senses were in the brink of failing him. Chanyeol fisted his hair again, harder this time, making the smaller man look at him and Baekhyun cried out a broken _please_. “Look at you, so small, so innocent. I want to wreck you, Baekhyun”, Chanyeol said while holding Baekhyun’s face with his free hand, keeping him pinned to the wall with just his body. Baekhyun was looking at him, his mind and eyes clouded. “You look so sinful right now, my love”, Chanyeol whispered in his ear and started to kiss Baekhyun’s neck, making his body convulse a bit, his breath getting caught on his throat. “Shh, you’re ok. I’m here with you”, the taller said while putting his thigh in between Baekhyun’s leg and pressing in. “You can let go now”.

And Baekhyun did, his body going limp when his orgasm hit him with full force. Chanyeol put a hand on his mouth to stifle his moan and Baekhyun cried out his orgasm in silence, with Chanyeol supporting his weight when his trembling legs failed him. Baekhyun’s whole body was tingling and the air around them was heavy but Baekhyun felt light, his body was floating. 

Chanyeol brought him back to Earth a few moments later, as his after glow was fading. With a kiss on his forehead, Chanyeol let Baekhyun support himself on his feet again and took a step back. Both of them knew that they crossed a really important line but neither had the strength to deal with it at the moment. 

Baekhyun was overwhelmed and a bit afraid of say whatever so Chanyeol took the lead for him. 

“I’ll go unlock the door now.” Chanyeol said sheepish.

Both of them started to laugh out loud but before Chanyeol could actually go, Baekhyun hugged him again just for the sake of it and because he loved that man. Both were dirty and disgusting but there was no other place Baekhyun rather be. 

-

After having showered – at different times since Baekhyun hadn’t completely lost his mind – Baekhyun and Chanyeol went to find his mom. It felt like a few minutes passed after they left her but they spent a good part of the early afternoon on the rooftop. It was almost 3pm when Baekhyun found his mom at the big cafeteria at the other wing of the Orphanage. The left wing – which Baekhyun hadn’t showed Chanyeol for a few non spoken reasons – consisted on 3 floors as well as the right wing, but it was mostly administration. The first one was the cafeteria and the kitchen, the second one was the main office and storage rooms and the third one was the rooms for single moms and adults in need of help. Those could only stay for a determined amount of time at once since Baekhyun should prioritize the kids safety. 

When Mrs. Byun took a look at them she smacked both of them in the head, even having to jump a little to smack Chanyeol. She asked if they had been mugged since Chanyeol arrived there looking like a super model and now he looked like the kid working at the convenience store. Baekhyun told her about playing with the kids and borrowing a few clothes. 

“You’re impossible! Every time you come here you do this! Luck me you don’t have Jongdae and Kyungsoo around this time or I would be losing my mind!”

After that Mrs. Byun stole Chanyeol away because, according to her, they looked at each other like they were planning the downfall of an empire. Baekhyun didn’t know if he should worry about that duo together, but he would have to get used to it sooner or later. 

He decided to stroll around with the kids, giving them his attention a little bit at time. The older kids were a bit shy around him, but he tried his best to ease them. The kids convinced him to go the music room and he spent the rest of the afternoon in there, getting out for fresh air after his fingers were sore from playing the piano. 

He went to the kitchen to grab a snack but spotted his mom and Chanyeol in there and to his disbelief they were laughing and cooking together. He wasn’t sure if that scene came out of his dreams or his nightmares. He was about to go in and join them when he heard his mom saying his name. 

“You know, Baekhyun have always been a hard headed kid. But I always felt honesty coming from him, and that’s why I always support him in every decision. And, when he told me he was going to become a priest, a part of me died inside. Because I always imagined a future for him, one that always included a beautiful family. And even though now I know he will always have a family, no matter where he goes, there is a part of me that still want it for him. To settle down, find a person who will be there for him as much as I have, to believe in him as much as I did, to love him even more than I do. And I’m scared, Mr. Park. I’m scared because I know he’s scared too. He’s scared of trying, he’s scared of failure. Because if he fails, he’s lost. I’m not scared of him being lonely because I know he has a lot of good people by his side. I’m scared of him being alone. Because once he stops being a priest, he won’t have the church as a home to go to. And if this love he has fails him, where could he go to? To God? I know my son well enough to know he will be ashamed of himself for far too long until he understands again the God’s love never falters. So, I’m not going to ask for too much, Mr. Park, just for you to understand him and be patient. The decision he has to make it’s not an easy one”, Mrs. Byun ended with a sigh. Chanyeol seemed lost for words and was about to say something when Mrs. Byun gave him a pat on the shoulder and a warm smile. “I won’t tell him you both do a poor job at hiding your lovey dovey eyes, don’t worry. But you better keep up with me in the kitchen if want my blessing to be a part of this family, Mr. Park because I like monthly family reunions with everybody in the kitchen and it’s not just for eating!” 

Baekhyun decided to leave after that. He wasn’t sure how to feel about what he just heard. He was conflicted between being mad at his mom for dropping the bomb so casually or relieved that she seemed to like Chanyeol well enough to want him around. Either way, he agreed with her about having a decision to make and it was about time he got it done. 

-

The dinner was as smoothly as pineapple. Baekhyun was avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes like a plague and his mom was doing a really poor job of trying to look innocent when shoving them together. The kids ate in silence until Baekhyun, his mom and Chanyeol started to bring out the presents for everyone. They started to get jumpy and talk together and Baekhyun took the lead since he was used to these kind of ruckus. 

“Ok mini people, listen up! A few days ago we've received a really nice letter from a special person. This person got a word about this place and about you guys and decided to give us all a little something. So, please let’s have a around of applause for Mr. Park Chanyeol who’s the one responsible for all these presents and the good food today!” Baekhyun said while motioning Chanyeol to take a step closer. The older man was as red as a tomato and awkwardly bowing and saying thanks to the kids. The older ones were laughing at his antics since he looked so confident playing football with them earlier. 

“Mr. Park is a very intelligent man, he runs a really important company in the country, so to be here and actually have a meal with us means he must have liked you all a lot, right? So be kind to him for the rest of the night as you were throughout the whole day, ok?” 

After that the kids started to bombard Chanyeol with questions, about what he does, how tall was he, does he has a girlfriend, could they go to work with him? On the first few questions he was still kind of awkward, not looking the kids in the eye while speaking. But after one of the youngest ones sat on his lap to play with his – probably very expansive – necklace, he seemed to ease up a bit and in no time he had kids on his back and was giving them piggyback rides. Baekhyun’s heart was trying not to burst while he avoided his mom’s knowing gaze. 

After everyone finally open their presents, the kids went to their rooms. They were already past curfew but today was special so no one mentioned it. The mess in the hall would be cleaned in the next day since no one else had strength left to work.

Baekhyun, his mom and Chanyeol were on the sidewalk saying their goodbyes when Mrs. Byun made a very fake attempt at pretending she had forgot something inside and Baekhyun should go ahead first, almost forcing him inside Chanyeol’s car. When they finally left with her waving them good-bye through the rearview mirror, Baekhyun exhaled. 

“She can be a handful sometimes”, he said while massaging his forehead. 

“She’s lovely”, Chanyeol said with a smile. 

“Well, I’m glad you like your mother in law”, Baekhyun said and Chanyeol almost drove the car into a lamp post.

“What?” Chanyeol asked while straighten the car again. “My what?”

“Your mother in law. Unless you’ve changed your mind about me…”

“I didn’t, of course I didn’t. But…”

“I’ll start to make things official tomorrow. It will probably take a while but I’ll ask for discharge from the church until I’m completely exonerated”.

Baekhyun thought it would be hard to say it, but he never felt more at peace with his mind and his heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! First of all, hope you're all ok and safe!  
> So here's a turning point to you all! What happens now???

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys like It? i don't know how a Catholic school works but for the sake of the story let's pretend?! comments are appreciated so feel free. I don't know how updates are going to work but I'll try to update at least once a week. I don't plan on making it a long story but we'll see as it goes. thank you 💜


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